oh yea i was elected captain.
muahaha i am gonna take over the cca and force you guys to stretch like me, till your legs fall out and your arms hang limp.
i am one step closer to world domination....
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Underwear Monsters Strikes Again
reported by Wong Ken Yan
There have been a rise in attacks of students in National Junior College by a group of bandits who students call as "the underwear monsters".
according to the accounts of victims and their friends, the gang of bandits consists of an irregular number of members. however, they have identified 3 of the bandits: Nicholas Goh, Clayton Chiew and Timothy Koh, all of whom (either by coincidence or not) belong to the college's swim team, who were at the scene of the attacks
these attacks seem to originate from these bandits' fetish for worn briefs as the victims have all recollected that their had their briefs torn forcefully out from their pants. One of the victims commented "it was so painful at that time and it left an indention" as he pointed at the area around his lower thigh."they cornered me in the toilet, laughing as they reached into my pants." said another victim who had just celebrated his birthday on the 22nd of july. some of the bandits held on to the victims' limbs while the others worked on the underwear and took pictures in a morbid frenzy. the victims were also left to cry from the humiliation in the toilet after the attack. despite the screams and shouts for help by the victims, no one offered to help. "we were afraid that we might become the next victim" said an onlooker.
According to the analysis of the attack patterns, these attack happen on 1 to 2 days before or after the victims' birthday. they occur in the toilets when the targeted victim is alone and most vulnerable.
teachers have been investigating this matter but to no avail. the bandits are now on the run but the attacks have not stopped.
the school urged the boys to be wary of entering the toilet alone and encouraged students to bring an extra pair of briefs for precaution.
students who have information on the attacks are to report to the teachers.
anyone caught harboring or aiding the bandits in any way is committing a grave mistake and will be dealt with harshly.
There have been a rise in attacks of students in National Junior College by a group of bandits who students call as "the underwear monsters".
according to the accounts of victims and their friends, the gang of bandits consists of an irregular number of members. however, they have identified 3 of the bandits: Nicholas Goh, Clayton Chiew and Timothy Koh, all of whom (either by coincidence or not) belong to the college's swim team, who were at the scene of the attacks
these attacks seem to originate from these bandits' fetish for worn briefs as the victims have all recollected that their had their briefs torn forcefully out from their pants. One of the victims commented "it was so painful at that time and it left an indention" as he pointed at the area around his lower thigh."they cornered me in the toilet, laughing as they reached into my pants." said another victim who had just celebrated his birthday on the 22nd of july. some of the bandits held on to the victims' limbs while the others worked on the underwear and took pictures in a morbid frenzy. the victims were also left to cry from the humiliation in the toilet after the attack. despite the screams and shouts for help by the victims, no one offered to help. "we were afraid that we might become the next victim" said an onlooker.
According to the analysis of the attack patterns, these attack happen on 1 to 2 days before or after the victims' birthday. they occur in the toilets when the targeted victim is alone and most vulnerable.
teachers have been investigating this matter but to no avail. the bandits are now on the run but the attacks have not stopped.
the school urged the boys to be wary of entering the toilet alone and encouraged students to bring an extra pair of briefs for precaution.
students who have information on the attacks are to report to the teachers.
anyone caught harboring or aiding the bandits in any way is committing a grave mistake and will be dealt with harshly.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Its really nice
its is really nice when your friends insist on celebrating your birthday when you tell them not to.
it is really nice when your friends try their very best to find out your birthday no matter how many fake dates you tell them.
its really nice when people pass a card around during lessons to write on - to tell you to get fatter.
its really nice when someone sends you a duffel bag from Miami.
its really nice to share 6 scoops of ice-cream with 5 other people.
its really nice to have friends who will spend the hours to design a card for you.
its really nice to not call people "bitch" or "slut" on your birthday
its really nice to reduce the usage of the word "fuck" to a mere 5 times just because its your birthday.
its really nice to walk your friend out to the gate, under the unforgiving sun, on your birthday
its really nice to stay up until 9 in school for installation ceremony to move tables, chairs and a rostrum
its really nice to shake Mrs Poon's (VP) on your birthday.
its really nice to receive a present from your usually unbearable brother.
it is really nice when your friends try their very best to find out your birthday no matter how many fake dates you tell them.
its really nice when people pass a card around during lessons to write on - to tell you to get fatter.
its really nice when someone sends you a duffel bag from Miami.
its really nice to share 6 scoops of ice-cream with 5 other people.
its really nice to have friends who will spend the hours to design a card for you.
its really nice to not call people "bitch" or "slut" on your birthday
its really nice to reduce the usage of the word "fuck" to a mere 5 times just because its your birthday.
its really nice to walk your friend out to the gate, under the unforgiving sun, on your birthday
its really nice to stay up until 9 in school for installation ceremony to move tables, chairs and a rostrum
its really nice to shake Mrs Poon's (VP) on your birthday.
its really nice to receive a present from your usually unbearable brother.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
dont-need-sex-to-live movement
in view of the rising numbers of HIV infected victims - victims of sex, i have decided to restart one of my failed self-initiated movement : the dont-need-sex-to-live movement.
this movement aims to rid people of the the mindset that the world is all about sex, as brought across by American TV such as desperate housewives, dirt, dirty sexy money, simple life (and we all know why).
sex by nature, is an activity performed by living sentient beings to express their love for another regardless of gender. however this intent has been corrupted by financial and social factors of life, hence the birth of the sex industry (inclusive of sexual entertainment, prostitution etc).
the movement operates by teaching participants on the truth and lies of sex, not to request them to abstain from it. sex should be encouraged if the intent of it is not to attain monetary gains or any form of social/financial advantage to either party during or after the intercourse. in other words, if the intent is to purely express one's love for another and is justified, sex should be encouraged.
the current committee will consist of the people as stated below:
Chairman: Wong Ken Yan
Vice Chairwomen: Teo Yi Ning
Secretary: Jeromy Tan
Treasurer: Eileen Yeo
Internal Relations Manager: Stefan Tan
External Relations Manager: Clare Siow
interested applicants are to contact wong ken yan at ultima_ken@hotmail.com.
newcomers are welcomed at any time.
ps: this is not a pilot test for my project work
this movement aims to rid people of the the mindset that the world is all about sex, as brought across by American TV such as desperate housewives, dirt, dirty sexy money, simple life (and we all know why).
sex by nature, is an activity performed by living sentient beings to express their love for another regardless of gender. however this intent has been corrupted by financial and social factors of life, hence the birth of the sex industry (inclusive of sexual entertainment, prostitution etc).
the movement operates by teaching participants on the truth and lies of sex, not to request them to abstain from it. sex should be encouraged if the intent of it is not to attain monetary gains or any form of social/financial advantage to either party during or after the intercourse. in other words, if the intent is to purely express one's love for another and is justified, sex should be encouraged.
the current committee will consist of the people as stated below:
Chairman: Wong Ken Yan
Vice Chairwomen: Teo Yi Ning
Secretary: Jeromy Tan
Treasurer: Eileen Yeo
Internal Relations Manager: Stefan Tan
External Relations Manager: Clare Siow
interested applicants are to contact wong ken yan at ultima_ken@hotmail.com.
newcomers are welcomed at any time.
ps: this is not a pilot test for my project work
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Brothers from another mother
its really starting to piss me off...
today it was the 1st time spoke to Mr Teo Tze Wei. the first thing he said to me was "you arent local. are you?" and that was the last straw that broke the camel's back (omg i used and idiom). the straw before this came from Ms chua who asked the same thing yet more crudely and accusingly " Are you sure you are local?" (that was during my H3 research interview and she made me look as though i faked my particulars)
sometimes i think people can really be too judgmental. how can they determine one's locality by how one speaks? i have friends that speak english like the british do but they are still Singaporeans.
so what if people are not local? should there be a difference in the way we view them? why is there a need to distinguish people from foreign lands? should they not be given the same chance to prove their worth?
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - Shakespeare - Merchant of Venice.
aint that all so true? arent they all the same? humans after all-sharing the same emotions. why is there a need to distinguish?
today it was the 1st time spoke to Mr Teo Tze Wei. the first thing he said to me was "you arent local. are you?" and that was the last straw that broke the camel's back (omg i used and idiom). the straw before this came from Ms chua who asked the same thing yet more crudely and accusingly " Are you sure you are local?" (that was during my H3 research interview and she made me look as though i faked my particulars)
sometimes i think people can really be too judgmental. how can they determine one's locality by how one speaks? i have friends that speak english like the british do but they are still Singaporeans.
so what if people are not local? should there be a difference in the way we view them? why is there a need to distinguish people from foreign lands? should they not be given the same chance to prove their worth?
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - Shakespeare - Merchant of Venice.
aint that all so true? arent they all the same? humans after all-sharing the same emotions. why is there a need to distinguish?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
HOT
2 people fucking piss me off in NJ
now that i am back in school, days of torment commence.
ok let me introduce these 2 assholes:
bitchy whore 1 (BW1)
irritating whore who keeps thinking that she (omg did i say 'SHE"?) is the all-mighty-bitch. commands people around and insists that what every she says is right. right ur fuck la.
Bitchy whore 2 (BW2)
she is the apprentice of BW1. takes on all characteristics of BW1 except she is more self centered.
argh.
why must there be so many bitches all around? i guess god made bitches *points to vany, BW1, BW2, SBW* to offset the cute angels *points to myself*.
BW (both) really piss me off like shit with their queen-of-the-world attitude. one day, i will make sure i hang them up on the raintree in nj and pour honey all over their bodies. then, i wil watch as the ants eat their flesh up muahahaha
disclaimer: the names given to the above 2 bitches are fictitious. Any similarities is purely coincidental.
now that i am back in school, days of torment commence.
ok let me introduce these 2 assholes:
bitchy whore 1 (BW1)
irritating whore who keeps thinking that she (omg did i say 'SHE"?) is the all-mighty-bitch. commands people around and insists that what every she says is right. right ur fuck la.
Bitchy whore 2 (BW2)
she is the apprentice of BW1. takes on all characteristics of BW1 except she is more self centered.
argh.
why must there be so many bitches all around? i guess god made bitches *points to vany, BW1, BW2, SBW* to offset the cute angels *points to myself*.
BW (both) really piss me off like shit with their queen-of-the-world attitude. one day, i will make sure i hang them up on the raintree in nj and pour honey all over their bodies. then, i wil watch as the ants eat their flesh up muahahaha
disclaimer: the names given to the above 2 bitches are fictitious. Any similarities is purely coincidental.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
21 confessions of a teenage drama king
oh man i realise i like to hide who i really am ( dirty horny bastard) when i meet people.
i would like to apologise to my swim team for being so FAKE. i think i am shy thats why i hid my real personality.
confessions:
1. i am not a goody-two-shoe like many have naively presumed.
2. that ac gal i met at the pool aint my gf (Vanessa thats you i am referring to here)
3. i have never intended to compete in swimming
4. i am attatched (to my attatchment-ahahaha wat a funny joke, attatched to an attatchment do u geddit?)
5. i lied about my weight. i am not 51kg (pss i am 49 but dun tell)
6. i changed my number to 91069182
7. i blogged only when i have something to tell
8. i like to listen to Chinese songs once in a while
9. i was forced to go for social, verbal, dining etiquette courses when i was young and yet i am still to uncouth
10. i hate mugging (i mean who does?)
11. i ate a cockroach when i was young and hence my extreme phobia of cockroaches now
12. i sticked my used oil-blotting paper into my brother's history textbook to bookmark the page.
13. i sing and dance in my study room
14. i talk to myself in bed (not to make my life on bed more exciting-if you know what i mean)
15. i hear voices in my head when there are no distractions (2 voices actually)
16. i sing to my bedbugs at night
17. i used to be very violent in primary school (ahh those were the days)
18. i have many suitors of all ages ranging from 4(darling phoebe) to 50 plus
19. i have been stalked a few times... by uncles. twice at the swimming pool. once, a young man tried to hold my hand deliberately.
20. i like older women, those of ages 50-70. the older the sexier.
21. i have not confessed everything.
i would like to apologise to my swim team for being so FAKE. i think i am shy thats why i hid my real personality.
confessions:
1. i am not a goody-two-shoe like many have naively presumed.
2. that ac gal i met at the pool aint my gf (Vanessa thats you i am referring to here)
3. i have never intended to compete in swimming
4. i am attatched (to my attatchment-ahahaha wat a funny joke, attatched to an attatchment do u geddit?)
5. i lied about my weight. i am not 51kg (pss i am 49 but dun tell)
6. i changed my number to 91069182
7. i blogged only when i have something to tell
8. i like to listen to Chinese songs once in a while
9. i was forced to go for social, verbal, dining etiquette courses when i was young and yet i am still to uncouth
10. i hate mugging (i mean who does?)
11. i ate a cockroach when i was young and hence my extreme phobia of cockroaches now
12. i sticked my used oil-blotting paper into my brother's history textbook to bookmark the page.
13. i sing and dance in my study room
14. i talk to myself in bed (not to make my life on bed more exciting-if you know what i mean)
15. i hear voices in my head when there are no distractions (2 voices actually)
16. i sing to my bedbugs at night
17. i used to be very violent in primary school (ahh those were the days)
18. i have many suitors of all ages ranging from 4(darling phoebe) to 50 plus
19. i have been stalked a few times... by uncles. twice at the swimming pool. once, a young man tried to hold my hand deliberately.
20. i like older women, those of ages 50-70. the older the sexier.
21. i have not confessed everything.
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