ca⋅thar⋅tic
/kəˈθɑrtɪk/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [kuh-thahr-tik] Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. of or pertaining to catharsis.
2. Also, ca⋅thar⋅ti⋅cal. evacuating the bowels; purgative.
–noun
3. a purgative.
eg:
the pau bitch gave me cathartic paus which resulted in a terrible morning, the next day, filled with shit, fluids and bad farts.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
what i dislike about celebrating the new year
the worst part of celebrating the chinese new year is visting my relatives. in the past, my family visited about 8-9 families in a single day but we stopped visiting them when they all started to drop dead. now there are only about 4 families we visit but they all arent that great.
1. 7th grandaunt (CMG)
well dont get me wrong, she aint mean or anything; in fact she is really really nice. she would always greet my family with bak gua and other goodies which were, frankly, not really tasty but good enough to keep my mouth busy for an hour or 2. well the bad thing is that she is one hell of a Cantonese machine gun. for that 1/2 hours she would rant, in Cantonese, about how her youngest son spent his 42 thousand dollars worth of bonus, how her eldest son gambled his family and house away, how much she put into her fixed deposit, how the other uncles treated her sister... ... and the list goes on and on and on until i have to give my father the "full-time" signal. the full-time signal was developed many years ago to cut my stay at my 7th grand aunt's house short. the full time signal is used when we cross the 45 min mark. but despite the signal, we can only leave 30 mins later. just when its you think its over, my 7th grand aunt brings her sons for another visit at my house... this time its for 5 freaking hours. during then, i cant do anything cause they call the shots.
2. pau witch
actually i dont really know how she is related to me but all i know is that she makes paus, siew mai and all the other dim sums when we visit her. the reason why she is called the pau witch but not the dim sum princess its because once when i was about 10 years old, she made a batch of paus that gave my ENTIRE family a really bad case of diarrhea. since then we became very apprehensive when she offered us one of her handmade dishes and only ate things that come in the transparent containers with red screw caps.
3. Jurassic Park aunty
this aunty has screws in her knees because of a bad fall. shes really looks like a cantonese , liver spotted prune on a wheel chair: she is really ancient. but SHE IS NOT THE ONE who made the whole visit bad. the really bad part of this visit is that her grandchildren ALWAYS entertains their guests with a Jurassic Park VCD, for 3 straight years. they were probably thinking: hey what should we let them watch this year? oh jurassic park is a timeless movie, i love it. maybe they will not notice if play a different scene this year. well this family aint all that bad cause when my cousins come with their daughters, i have something else to watch other than the scene where the characters run from the t-rex in the hotel kitchen. well my cousin married a filipino who gave birth to 2 really pretty daughters; the younger daughter is the prettier of the 2.
4. all the rest of the uncles from my father side
i have 3 more uncles on my father side but they gather at the PSA building restaurant every year so we can avoid visiting them one by one. this side is probably the most problematic side cause i have a divorced uncle and aunty, a aunty who married a china man, a very hairy uncle who is the head chef at some high class restaurant, an uncle who is always worried about his son's education prospects. they are quite a torture but thankfully the love to gather at a table to rant in cantonese. their little brats are really like the devil's children. one phrase to describe them all : fat, fatter fatterer. god i hate this bastards, always running about(while their c cup moobs bounce around) but when the roasted pork dish comes, they will be 1st to gobble it down. and according to my over worried uncle, i am the eldest of them all and so i should be looking after them at all times. and that was how i always missed the other dishes because i had to watch over them while they paint the town red. even though they all return to the table when the roasted pork dish comes, it aint any better since my arm wasnt large enough to shove their chopsticks-clutching-trotters away when they come snatching for food. so at the end of the day i am still hungry and exhausted.
despite the many red packets, chinese new year aint a joyous occasion for me.
1. 7th grandaunt (CMG)
well dont get me wrong, she aint mean or anything; in fact she is really really nice. she would always greet my family with bak gua and other goodies which were, frankly, not really tasty but good enough to keep my mouth busy for an hour or 2. well the bad thing is that she is one hell of a Cantonese machine gun. for that 1/2 hours she would rant, in Cantonese, about how her youngest son spent his 42 thousand dollars worth of bonus, how her eldest son gambled his family and house away, how much she put into her fixed deposit, how the other uncles treated her sister... ... and the list goes on and on and on until i have to give my father the "full-time" signal. the full-time signal was developed many years ago to cut my stay at my 7th grand aunt's house short. the full time signal is used when we cross the 45 min mark. but despite the signal, we can only leave 30 mins later. just when its you think its over, my 7th grand aunt brings her sons for another visit at my house... this time its for 5 freaking hours. during then, i cant do anything cause they call the shots.
2. pau witch
actually i dont really know how she is related to me but all i know is that she makes paus, siew mai and all the other dim sums when we visit her. the reason why she is called the pau witch but not the dim sum princess its because once when i was about 10 years old, she made a batch of paus that gave my ENTIRE family a really bad case of diarrhea. since then we became very apprehensive when she offered us one of her handmade dishes and only ate things that come in the transparent containers with red screw caps.
3. Jurassic Park aunty
this aunty has screws in her knees because of a bad fall. shes really looks like a cantonese , liver spotted prune on a wheel chair: she is really ancient. but SHE IS NOT THE ONE who made the whole visit bad. the really bad part of this visit is that her grandchildren ALWAYS entertains their guests with a Jurassic Park VCD, for 3 straight years. they were probably thinking: hey what should we let them watch this year? oh jurassic park is a timeless movie, i love it. maybe they will not notice if play a different scene this year. well this family aint all that bad cause when my cousins come with their daughters, i have something else to watch other than the scene where the characters run from the t-rex in the hotel kitchen. well my cousin married a filipino who gave birth to 2 really pretty daughters; the younger daughter is the prettier of the 2.
4. all the rest of the uncles from my father side
i have 3 more uncles on my father side but they gather at the PSA building restaurant every year so we can avoid visiting them one by one. this side is probably the most problematic side cause i have a divorced uncle and aunty, a aunty who married a china man, a very hairy uncle who is the head chef at some high class restaurant, an uncle who is always worried about his son's education prospects. they are quite a torture but thankfully the love to gather at a table to rant in cantonese. their little brats are really like the devil's children. one phrase to describe them all : fat, fatter fatterer. god i hate this bastards, always running about(while their c cup moobs bounce around) but when the roasted pork dish comes, they will be 1st to gobble it down. and according to my over worried uncle, i am the eldest of them all and so i should be looking after them at all times. and that was how i always missed the other dishes because i had to watch over them while they paint the town red. even though they all return to the table when the roasted pork dish comes, it aint any better since my arm wasnt large enough to shove their chopsticks-clutching-trotters away when they come snatching for food. so at the end of the day i am still hungry and exhausted.
despite the many red packets, chinese new year aint a joyous occasion for me.
Friday, January 16, 2009
ohh that bloody feeling.
the first week in school wasn't that bad at all.
my teachers are pretty much the same. thank god i did not get teachers that may just drop dead anytime. i really wonder why in secondary schools we always get old teachers - those deceptive little creatures. though they may look as though look like a raisin in loafers, they have the voice of a lion when they scold students. i got one old gp teacher teaching me this year... name: Iris Champagne. shes a sweet granny that has just decided that knitting scarves and while watching soaps isnt exciting enough and thus came to teach in singapore.
the school looks exactly the same. same old grey walls, same old cemented floors, same old toilets with no water, same old rusty railings, same old shoes lying all around (there is no shoe sale better than nj's bring-home-any-pair-you-want-provided-you-can-find-a-pair sale)the whole school just screams haunted house. anyway speaking of haunted, there have been sightings of flying text books in the classrooms which i found rather cool. well i was actually thinking that i can get shout "accio econs textbook" and principles of economics will fly to me.
now the school has decided to go all american education refer j1s and 2s as senior high 1/2 and sec1-4 junior high 1-4, like i really care. there has been a new addition to the school: noobolicious sec 1s. these critters clad in grey top and charcoal berms/skirts are currently running around cheering like no tomorrow. wait till they start lessons then they will decide if jumping on this 6 year programme really rocks.
well this is my school... 1 more year to go. go eat shit and die
my teachers are pretty much the same. thank god i did not get teachers that may just drop dead anytime. i really wonder why in secondary schools we always get old teachers - those deceptive little creatures. though they may look as though look like a raisin in loafers, they have the voice of a lion when they scold students. i got one old gp teacher teaching me this year... name: Iris Champagne. shes a sweet granny that has just decided that knitting scarves and while watching soaps isnt exciting enough and thus came to teach in singapore.
the school looks exactly the same. same old grey walls, same old cemented floors, same old toilets with no water, same old rusty railings, same old shoes lying all around (there is no shoe sale better than nj's bring-home-any-pair-you-want-provided-you-can-find-a-pair sale)the whole school just screams haunted house. anyway speaking of haunted, there have been sightings of flying text books in the classrooms which i found rather cool. well i was actually thinking that i can get shout "accio econs textbook" and principles of economics will fly to me.
now the school has decided to go all american education refer j1s and 2s as senior high 1/2 and sec1-4 junior high 1-4, like i really care. there has been a new addition to the school: noobolicious sec 1s. these critters clad in grey top and charcoal berms/skirts are currently running around cheering like no tomorrow. wait till they start lessons then they will decide if jumping on this 6 year programme really rocks.
well this is my school... 1 more year to go. go eat shit and die
Saturday, January 10, 2009
videos and big mouths
well babe heres teh embarrassing-video code:
1. watch the video and laugh
2. call people around you to watch and then laugh
3. NEVER CALL UP THE ACTORS TO TELL THEM U SAW THEIR VIDEO
hey people open up your eyes and tell me if you saw code 3. who the hell has the brains made of coconuts and smsed stefan tan?
NOW YOU SEE I HAD TO TAKE THE BLOODY GOOD VIDEO DOWN all because of one bloody bitch brained person who smsed him. thank you for removing probably the most entertaining video after britney's appearance in the VMA 2007. you have single handedly destroyed the entire comedy genre and my dreams of being a movie producer. thanks alot bitch.
god you are really bitch-brained arent you? i mean its like when i see a porn vid of you i dun go telling others hey i saw bitch-brained star in "deep throat". god what were you thinking? by smsing the actor about the video would encourage the actor to star in another one? yea it'll probably work if that actor is brad pitt but sadly baby hes not so keep ur dam bitch brains and mouth to yourself and respect the embarrassing-video code.
1. watch the video and laugh
2. call people around you to watch and then laugh
3. NEVER CALL UP THE ACTORS TO TELL THEM U SAW THEIR VIDEO
hey people open up your eyes and tell me if you saw code 3. who the hell has the brains made of coconuts and smsed stefan tan?
NOW YOU SEE I HAD TO TAKE THE BLOODY GOOD VIDEO DOWN all because of one bloody bitch brained person who smsed him. thank you for removing probably the most entertaining video after britney's appearance in the VMA 2007. you have single handedly destroyed the entire comedy genre and my dreams of being a movie producer. thanks alot bitch.
god you are really bitch-brained arent you? i mean its like when i see a porn vid of you i dun go telling others hey i saw bitch-brained star in "deep throat". god what were you thinking? by smsing the actor about the video would encourage the actor to star in another one? yea it'll probably work if that actor is brad pitt but sadly baby hes not so keep ur dam bitch brains and mouth to yourself and respect the embarrassing-video code.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
noisy blogs and yi ning's birthday and the knight
theres nothing i hate more then to read someone's blog adn suddenly music start blasting through my speakers.
why do they have to put music on their blogs? its not like people like to listen to them anyway. if i want music i would have used my own songs. who teh hell cares if you like korean or japanese songs or some techno jumbo damit.
yesterday was yn's birthday and till now i still have not wished her happy birthday reason being i am on a quest for the title: the one who did not wished yn happy birthday since forever. unfortunately it will only be attain when i die.
that was besides the point so anyway as i was saying, it was yn's birthday and we spent pretty much the whole day at kbox since 1 o'clock.
pandemonium erupted in room 16. stefan was screeching to the mic at full strength determined to kill all of us so that he can have the mic to himself, yn was having a tug of war with stefan using the mic cord, jeromy was all randy with me and eileen was eyeing the mic all the time but i was always either in stefan's hands or stefan's hands (yes that was on purpose). clare was bouncing up and down the seats screaming (well she said she was singing). then we had dinner and went to yn's house to surprise her with a $35 dollar brownie and some jolly shandy her mother provided. then the worst part of the day came. we went to watch our home videos we recorded for yn. and once again stefan started screaming through his speakers. he insisted that he was forced but we all know he loved every second of it.
well the highlights of the day was my dream. well i dreamt that Rene casted me as a knight in a huge play. it was crazily huge scale. with like extremely spacious makeup rooms for each cast member. omfg. cool damnit anyway i dont remember much about it but except i look darn good in a tin armour.
why do they have to put music on their blogs? its not like people like to listen to them anyway. if i want music i would have used my own songs. who teh hell cares if you like korean or japanese songs or some techno jumbo damit.
yesterday was yn's birthday and till now i still have not wished her happy birthday reason being i am on a quest for the title: the one who did not wished yn happy birthday since forever. unfortunately it will only be attain when i die.
that was besides the point so anyway as i was saying, it was yn's birthday and we spent pretty much the whole day at kbox since 1 o'clock.
pandemonium erupted in room 16. stefan was screeching to the mic at full strength determined to kill all of us so that he can have the mic to himself, yn was having a tug of war with stefan using the mic cord, jeromy was all randy with me and eileen was eyeing the mic all the time but i was always either in stefan's hands or stefan's hands (yes that was on purpose). clare was bouncing up and down the seats screaming (well she said she was singing). then we had dinner and went to yn's house to surprise her with a $35 dollar brownie and some jolly shandy her mother provided. then the worst part of the day came. we went to watch our home videos we recorded for yn. and once again stefan started screaming through his speakers. he insisted that he was forced but we all know he loved every second of it.
well the highlights of the day was my dream. well i dreamt that Rene casted me as a knight in a huge play. it was crazily huge scale. with like extremely spacious makeup rooms for each cast member. omfg. cool damnit anyway i dont remember much about it but except i look darn good in a tin armour.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
life, rambo style
i am really bored to death.
i brought out every book relating to chemistry, desperately trying to stick to my study schedule.
but holy ho.
i can study oh my god. i just went online to see whos on but logged out right after yn said "hihi"
god i am freakin distracted.
and now i am blogging trashy stuff.
stefan is probably killing his neighbours but TOXIC and eileen is probably reading stories to her sea monkey corpse. yn is rotting away somewhere but who cares.
I NEED HELP.
oh anyway or rather last night, but it wasnt really last night since i slept at 1 am so technically its this morning, i dreamt that i saved my juniors from this group of gunmen clad in white this was how it really went:
standing by the tree in front of a jungle villa, i looked up the steps to see 3 men, well-dressed men in white tuxedos and fedora carrying one of those Rambo-styled machine guns with the bullet belt strap thingy slung over their shoulder. as usual, i appear in my dream as a hot sexy young brunette with biceps so big that i cant fold my arms, a torso so sweaty and smooth that even Arnold Schwarzenegger would die for, thighs so muscular that i choke a bear with, a butt so hard i can have breakfast on. but i digress.
as i was saying the 3 men were rushing down the steps like they had their butt on fire. they stopped to look around at the bottom of the steps as though they were looking for something or rather someone, which i came to know later.
when the men went 3 separate ways, i ran up the steps to see wilona standing at the balcony on the second floor, looking out. she was pale, white with fear. she turned to me, her hazel eyes widened. "you cant stay here they..."
"here..."
"shoot... what are you waiting for?" the men bellowed from below.
I lunged at her; i grabbed her by the shoulder; i pushed her to the ground. a volley of bullets came hitting the wall behind.
"up, up now"
wilona rose from the ground and whispered "i cant run anymore". her eyes reddened tears flowed down her cheeks in twin streams. she buried her face in her palms, while i stared totally confused.
"why they, ch, we have no time, they are coming" i said.
grabbing her hand, i pulled her up. "we have to go" i said.
we ran down the steps and bolted through the back door.
"he has her. chase"
we ran through the woods.
another round of bullets came from behind, puncturing the tree trunks linned on both sides. we made an abrupt turn to the left to dodge the bullets.
this is where i forgot what happened. hot dam i could published a novel based on this dream. if only real life was that action packed.
i brought out every book relating to chemistry, desperately trying to stick to my study schedule.
but holy ho.
i can study oh my god. i just went online to see whos on but logged out right after yn said "hihi"
god i am freakin distracted.
and now i am blogging trashy stuff.
stefan is probably killing his neighbours but TOXIC and eileen is probably reading stories to her sea monkey corpse. yn is rotting away somewhere but who cares.
I NEED HELP.
oh anyway or rather last night, but it wasnt really last night since i slept at 1 am so technically its this morning, i dreamt that i saved my juniors from this group of gunmen clad in white this was how it really went:
standing by the tree in front of a jungle villa, i looked up the steps to see 3 men, well-dressed men in white tuxedos and fedora carrying one of those Rambo-styled machine guns with the bullet belt strap thingy slung over their shoulder. as usual, i appear in my dream as a hot sexy young brunette with biceps so big that i cant fold my arms, a torso so sweaty and smooth that even Arnold Schwarzenegger would die for, thighs so muscular that i choke a bear with, a butt so hard i can have breakfast on. but i digress.
as i was saying the 3 men were rushing down the steps like they had their butt on fire. they stopped to look around at the bottom of the steps as though they were looking for something or rather someone, which i came to know later.
when the men went 3 separate ways, i ran up the steps to see wilona standing at the balcony on the second floor, looking out. she was pale, white with fear. she turned to me, her hazel eyes widened. "you cant stay here they..."
"here..."
"shoot... what are you waiting for?" the men bellowed from below.
I lunged at her; i grabbed her by the shoulder; i pushed her to the ground. a volley of bullets came hitting the wall behind.
"up, up now"
wilona rose from the ground and whispered "i cant run anymore". her eyes reddened tears flowed down her cheeks in twin streams. she buried her face in her palms, while i stared totally confused.
"why they, ch, we have no time, they are coming" i said.
grabbing her hand, i pulled her up. "we have to go" i said.
we ran down the steps and bolted through the back door.
"he has her. chase"
we ran through the woods.
another round of bullets came from behind, puncturing the tree trunks linned on both sides. we made an abrupt turn to the left to dodge the bullets.
this is where i forgot what happened. hot dam i could published a novel based on this dream. if only real life was that action packed.
Friday, January 2, 2009
been around the block
i haven been very active online lately. i am either busy struggling with the holiday home work, camping, training, partying or grounded. nevertheless many things still happened this holiday:
1. stefan is releasing his new single TOXIC and it really sound like what its title
2. jeromy is busy flirting with xin yue behind my back, totally oblivious that i was stalking their wall-to-wall conversation.
3. clare released her new album "WOMANISER" in competition with stefan's CD. we are now looking at another KAYANE WEST VERSUS 50cent battle.
4. eileen is grounded and so am i. apparently her aunt and my mum are mahjiong khakis.
5. Yi-ning-the-cheapo is currently on a shopping rampage, taking every advantage of the post christmas sales. what a shop-whore.
6. Vany aka self-proclaimed-ACJC-goddess is a bloody OGL god what is world coming to?
7. Lynette is pregnant. what more can i say......slut.
8. Zhi Xin was blown away by some whirlwind...i have no new about her.
9. i sambaed at malaysia.
10. i finally understood facebook
NYR1: cut down on watching drama
hot damn. my drama addiction is driving me crazy. i cant really study when there are new episodes of ugly betty, desperate housewives, CSI, Gossip girl, scrubs, heroes out every week. and so i must cut down on these drama in 2009. it is said that excessive drama distort the audiences' perception of reality. o.0 sounds serious.
NYR2: mug like some crazy dog
gotta study study study.
NYR3: spice up life in school
NJ school life is terribly mundane. and so i aim to change they way things are in school. starting from my class:)
NYR4: target weight of 55kg by june and 60 by november. (current weight: 49.5kg as of 2/1/09)
NYR5: reach a target height of 175 by the end of the year
NYR6: keep my social life alive
this is an emergency. by the rate homework is going to pile up, there aint gonna be time to party outside. in addition my parents are going to ground me now and then so my social life is wasting away.
NYR7: get a body so hot that i can sell it for $30 million per cell.
i aim to be drop-dead gorgeous.
NYR8: become a monk and sing sutras
this is a novelty idea i had. i am gonna be a monk and instead of chanting, i will sing sutra like a pop song. i can go sign a contract with Playmusic and employ bands such as the o-so-famous 345 or jay chan's band to play at the background while i croon to "amithaba". if christians can come up with their pop hymns i dont see why cant Buddhism. with this new idea and talent, i can not only walk over those trashy singers like stefan tan and clare siow but rub shoulders with high flying singers like Jonas Brothers and Jason Mraz. if lil wayne can release a song like " A millie" i can too, only better.
1. stefan is releasing his new single TOXIC and it really sound like what its title
2. jeromy is busy flirting with xin yue behind my back, totally oblivious that i was stalking their wall-to-wall conversation.
3. clare released her new album "WOMANISER" in competition with stefan's CD. we are now looking at another KAYANE WEST VERSUS 50cent battle.
4. eileen is grounded and so am i. apparently her aunt and my mum are mahjiong khakis.
5. Yi-ning-the-cheapo is currently on a shopping rampage, taking every advantage of the post christmas sales. what a shop-whore.
6. Vany aka self-proclaimed-ACJC-goddess is a bloody OGL god what is world coming to?
7. Lynette is pregnant. what more can i say......slut.
8. Zhi Xin was blown away by some whirlwind...i have no new about her.
9. i sambaed at malaysia.
10. i finally understood facebook
NYR1: cut down on watching drama
hot damn. my drama addiction is driving me crazy. i cant really study when there are new episodes of ugly betty, desperate housewives, CSI, Gossip girl, scrubs, heroes out every week. and so i must cut down on these drama in 2009. it is said that excessive drama distort the audiences' perception of reality. o.0 sounds serious.
NYR2: mug like some crazy dog
gotta study study study.
NYR3: spice up life in school
NJ school life is terribly mundane. and so i aim to change they way things are in school. starting from my class:)
NYR4: target weight of 55kg by june and 60 by november. (current weight: 49.5kg as of 2/1/09)
NYR5: reach a target height of 175 by the end of the year
NYR6: keep my social life alive
this is an emergency. by the rate homework is going to pile up, there aint gonna be time to party outside. in addition my parents are going to ground me now and then so my social life is wasting away.
NYR7: get a body so hot that i can sell it for $30 million per cell.
i aim to be drop-dead gorgeous.
NYR8: become a monk and sing sutras
this is a novelty idea i had. i am gonna be a monk and instead of chanting, i will sing sutra like a pop song. i can go sign a contract with Playmusic and employ bands such as the o-so-famous 345 or jay chan's band to play at the background while i croon to "amithaba". if christians can come up with their pop hymns i dont see why cant Buddhism. with this new idea and talent, i can not only walk over those trashy singers like stefan tan and clare siow but rub shoulders with high flying singers like Jonas Brothers and Jason Mraz. if lil wayne can release a song like " A millie" i can too, only better.
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