Take a bow

This blog has become so sunny that vampirish me cant take it. Shall be moving on to stop42161.blogspot.com

its been a long time

10000 years ago, there was a handsome guy who was enthusiastic about blogging.

latest update, my heart gave out and i had a heart attack out field. for 30 minutes i was flopping on the ground like a fish on the market floor. well actually i had chest pains and i sat by a tree while sergeants and captain fetch me water and mentos. yes, royalty.

now my nose is nose is constantly clogged by thick mucus and i am hacking left right centre. every night i wake up at least 6-7 times just to cough. every time its about to rain, my joints ache.

my entire body i breaking down.

ok on a lighter note, i got a trophy for doing nothing at games day.

Paradise

Whos ur daddy.

yo mamas daddy is back from a 3 day stay in a foreign land.

my buddy is constantly losing stuff. this week he lost his belt, some army issued equips which i am not allowed to say.

the funniest thing is when he opened his locker:

him: hmm some thing is missing

me: what you lost something again?

him: i cant seem to find my belt

me: did u bring it home?

him: no i am sure i did not

i open my cupboard

me: omg some thing is weird, wheres my underwear?!

he screamed
him: oh-em-gee (yes he really did use that) there is a ghost!

me: poltergeist is guess. and oh i found my underwear. i guess it goes for your stuff only.

what a noob. he told me he bitches about me to his friends and i told him i have a 6 paged diary entry about him waiting to be accidentally leaked into to press.

oh speaking of diary, i have decided to keep a daily journal of my day in writing cause i guess its free-er than blogging so i guess i wont be blogging much about my life in paradise of sweat, sun and body odour.

to those military personals who are paid to track blogs and facebook accounts: Get a proper job, in fact, get a life for that matter.

Veronica

gone for a few days and everyone thought i was dead but hell no. I M STILL ALIVE AND KICKING to perhaps your dismay.

oh i love my new wife veronica. ooo baby all the sleek dark curves around her handles and her love trigger, u know what i mean. stripping veronica was wonderful. being able to see her bare body. oooo, how they slide beautifully over each other as i lubricated her body. oh god i cant take it.

i will be back.

*off to wank*

PS: i cant say anything bad about the army nor divulge any information about my trainings.

quote of the day 12

life is not worth living if my hair is not there to share my joyful moments.

ps: bristles are technically not counted as hair. hair is something which can wave in the wind.

the new world

tomorrow is enlistment day woohooo. jeromy is deeply pesimistic about it but i am disgustingly optimistic about it, yea i know its weird cause i am rarely positive about things.

i think the thing i would miss most is swimming, and my MP3.

ok i just got rid of my brother by threatening to flick nose shit at him. boy am i the brother of the year.

i have yet decided the name of my gun. it will probably be veronica or rose. just wanna name it after a flower. maybe i will call it lily. nah lily is such a cheena name, sorry to all those named lily. hmm what about lilian, or juile. ok i shall take my time.

my family is worried, all for different reasons. my mum is afraid that i might end up drawing flowers on my face with camoflage, anyway i told her who would want to shoot a pretty flower, and looks like she bought it. my father is afraid that i might lead singing cheers after remarking about my love of singing in the showers and in the room. i told him i cant do those "everywhere we go, ppl want to know...." songs, its beneath me, but i will be very willing to do any michael jackson or kelly clarkson or lady gaga songs. i can do colby o donis or the fray. my brother is afarid that i might snore. actually i do snore but what can you do about it? suck it up pansies. i am afraid of visiting my relatives without any hair on my head. maybe i will get a toupee or a paper bag.

ok i gotta sleep already.

they say the gun is your wife. maybe i will name it Aleshya.

da buffet

not going to school causes me to lose my humour.

well this was what happened today.

woke up in the morning (feeling like p diddy...) to pangseh eileen and yi ning.

went back to sleep.

woke up again to eat my daily fruit bowl which i hate like fuck. every mouthful makes me wanna shoot vomit.

played red alert.

went for buffet.

there was this aunty with a shaved head and a spiked fringe. i call her army auntie and laughed at it for the whole of dinner. i had to resist the urge to rub my palm and face against her shaved head.

then there was this other couple at the lobster table. so like a typical singaporean, when the lobster was refilled, she and her husband piled like 6 or seven lobsters on their plates. i was right behind her, reaching for a plate when i saw that she took all the fucking lobsters. so i graciously put the plate down and walked away begrudgingly. actually i wanted to stab her eyes with the Alaskan Crab legs and take her lobsters. oh yea and smash the plate i was holding on to on her jello face. she has so many folds on her neck that i thought she was wearing a fur scarf. eat la eat la, i hope ure arteries harden before you can leave the lobster table.