denial

i refuse to sing the school anthem not because i don't know how to, but because i don't want to cause its like admitting that NJ is my school. till yesterday, i was still experiencing the culture shock but now i am beginning to accept NJ, not the school but the people. i am not sure when i will start to like the school itself. sometimes i laugh at myself for being so dreamy all the time. its time i really perish the RJ and AC dreams. its time i sing the school song which i did today, for the first time.

probably denial was the cause of my stress. my mind is in the garden of eden while my body is in NJ (contrary to popular belief in NJ, NJ is NOT a garden of eden).

truthfully, NJ is tantamount to a prison. with all the manacles and chains tugging at me, i cannot open up. i cant really blame my teacher for remarking that i am too reserved and urbane for my own good cause that is what i appear to be.