sorry to dissapoint u guys but unfornutnately i am still alive and kicking despite not posting any funny shit for a VERY VERY LOooong time.
nothing has been going on in my life except just 4 hours ago, my teacher advised me to get my jaw done. apparently he aint a fan of sharp chins and wanted mine to be a little squarish like his. and yes that hurts a lot. i guess i should give him an advice in return: suck your pansy ass and dont you ever critque my godly body features. yes that was my ego talking
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
boring Boring BORING
i know i have been lazy with my blog posting. well its coz of the all wretched PW and this frickin sore throat
lastest update on my life:
visited yesterday we visited OCS (officer cadet school) some fricking high end military institute.
to celebrate my reopening entry, i am going to do this in a dear diary style *adopted from SBW's blog*
Dear diary,
i visited OCS yesterday and i thought it was UBER cool. at 6.45 i woke up late and decided to give yang zhi a call to tell him that i would be late. i then rushed out of the house without bathing or washing my face. i got dressed and sprinted out of the house to the MRT station. i dont know if i was just being paranoid or the other commuters were really avoiding me. you have no idea how i smell like when i dont bathe in the morning XP *sticks tongue out*
guess what i saw when i reached clementi MRT? i saw YANG ZHI. oh my god it was soooo coool. Imagine telling him that i would be late then seeing later. like oh my god the school journey with him was like travelling with a star. when ever i turn around i can feel people screaming my name * now i've got a confession lalala...when i was young...* oh my god yang zhi is such a cool guy >.<
then later we had the usual boring assembly sessions. every day i secretly hoped that V.C's pants would drop cause that would add excitement to the mundane 30 minutes. after assembly we were divided into groups of 40 my some of my fwens had to split up *awww*:[
my group ic was shawn and alex and gabriel. they were really cool yea know? all dressed in chamo uniform...
shit i cant do this any more.
the assembly was boring as usual. 3 weird people became my ic. could not be bothered with all the army stories they tried to intrigues me with and so i continues to read my "new moon" by stefanie meyers. i really cant stand it when they use millitary jagons like cheongsua (which apparently means rushing up the mountains), BSS ( i dont even know whats that), SAFTI (SG arm forces training institute i think) etc. newsflash peeps i dont give a freaking damn.
when we reached OCS we got our goodie bag *cheepo alterego: whoohoo free stuff* which i threw a way at the end cos it was packed with worthless stuff eg. brochures, maps, all the mechanics of brainwashing.
i saw the new army getup. omfg it was like some primary school spraying 3 shades of green glitter all over their clothes. as ugly as stefan.
we went visiting around the quarters. boring
we went to shoot targets. boring
we got to use nigh vision binoculars. boring
went back to exhibition room. boring
i dunno why everyone has this weird notion that i am gonna be a commando. everytime the army peeps mention "signing on, training, commando course, guard" they will turn their hamster eyes to me. damn u. how do they know my ambition?
the best part of the trip was the journey home cause it was raining and i could get some shut eye at last.
the whole journey was boing, Boring, BORING. i probably yawned more than the number of times they used the word "Fuck" in my face. damit i know what that word it so stop demonstrating. i definitely use it more often than you do.
oh one more thing. they(army peeps) asked me if i was attached. i was like uh huh. then every stared.
anyway there is a 90% breakup rate in the NS so yea. every one ditch your partner before she ditches you.
lastest update on my life:
visited yesterday we visited OCS (officer cadet school) some fricking high end military institute.
to celebrate my reopening entry, i am going to do this in a dear diary style *adopted from SBW's blog*
Dear diary,
i visited OCS yesterday and i thought it was UBER cool. at 6.45 i woke up late and decided to give yang zhi a call to tell him that i would be late. i then rushed out of the house without bathing or washing my face. i got dressed and sprinted out of the house to the MRT station. i dont know if i was just being paranoid or the other commuters were really avoiding me. you have no idea how i smell like when i dont bathe in the morning XP *sticks tongue out*
guess what i saw when i reached clementi MRT? i saw YANG ZHI. oh my god it was soooo coool. Imagine telling him that i would be late then seeing later. like oh my god the school journey with him was like travelling with a star. when ever i turn around i can feel people screaming my name * now i've got a confession lalala...when i was young...* oh my god yang zhi is such a cool guy >.<
then later we had the usual boring assembly sessions. every day i secretly hoped that V.C's pants would drop cause that would add excitement to the mundane 30 minutes. after assembly we were divided into groups of 40 my some of my fwens had to split up *awww*:[
my group ic was shawn and alex and gabriel. they were really cool yea know? all dressed in chamo uniform...
shit i cant do this any more.
the assembly was boring as usual. 3 weird people became my ic. could not be bothered with all the army stories they tried to intrigues me with and so i continues to read my "new moon" by stefanie meyers. i really cant stand it when they use millitary jagons like cheongsua (which apparently means rushing up the mountains), BSS ( i dont even know whats that), SAFTI (SG arm forces training institute i think) etc. newsflash peeps i dont give a freaking damn.
when we reached OCS we got our goodie bag *cheepo alterego: whoohoo free stuff* which i threw a way at the end cos it was packed with worthless stuff eg. brochures, maps, all the mechanics of brainwashing.
i saw the new army getup. omfg it was like some primary school spraying 3 shades of green glitter all over their clothes. as ugly as stefan.
we went visiting around the quarters. boring
we went to shoot targets. boring
we got to use nigh vision binoculars. boring
went back to exhibition room. boring
i dunno why everyone has this weird notion that i am gonna be a commando. everytime the army peeps mention "signing on, training, commando course, guard" they will turn their hamster eyes to me. damn u. how do they know my ambition?
the best part of the trip was the journey home cause it was raining and i could get some shut eye at last.
the whole journey was boing, Boring, BORING. i probably yawned more than the number of times they used the word "Fuck" in my face. damit i know what that word it so stop demonstrating. i definitely use it more often than you do.
oh one more thing. they(army peeps) asked me if i was attached. i was like uh huh. then every stared.
anyway there is a 90% breakup rate in the NS so yea. every one ditch your partner before she ditches you.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
PW sucks so bad
PW is an SSS subject (sickening, sadistic and such-a-waste-of-time).
-sickening-
like omfg you can spend 3 hours on discussing on how to polish your written then another 3-4 hours on ways to meet the word requirements. the next day, the supposedly improved report is thrown back at you full of red marks and subtle insults to your writing skills.
-sadistic-
teachers really know how to play mind games. when theres too much time left, teachers praise your project to the skies, giving you the false impression that you are really going to do well. then then theres only 3 days left to the final submission, they decided life is too boring and start looking at your project seriously. it is only then when they realise the many loopholes. you would wish that they would give constructive comments but all they really want to do is to find even more loop holes and tear your project up at the very last minute. perhaps they love the ephemeral euphoria from seeing us slumped at a corner, all worn out and dejected.
-such-a-waste-of-time-
3hrs a week X 40 weeks=120 hours of project work preparation in a year excluding externally conducted meetings, all for a 3000 words and 30mins chance to get a the best grade. that sure suck
-sickening-
like omfg you can spend 3 hours on discussing on how to polish your written then another 3-4 hours on ways to meet the word requirements. the next day, the supposedly improved report is thrown back at you full of red marks and subtle insults to your writing skills.
-sadistic-
teachers really know how to play mind games. when theres too much time left, teachers praise your project to the skies, giving you the false impression that you are really going to do well. then then theres only 3 days left to the final submission, they decided life is too boring and start looking at your project seriously. it is only then when they realise the many loopholes. you would wish that they would give constructive comments but all they really want to do is to find even more loop holes and tear your project up at the very last minute. perhaps they love the ephemeral euphoria from seeing us slumped at a corner, all worn out and dejected.
-such-a-waste-of-time-
3hrs a week X 40 weeks=120 hours of project work preparation in a year excluding externally conducted meetings, all for a 3000 words and 30mins chance to get a the best grade. that sure suck
Sunday, October 5, 2008
my hairy issue part 2
side note:
talked to TEO XIN YUE today. yes people the one who went over to Australia ditching, i mean DITCHING me with the vicious Singaporean educational system. yea thats the one. no she aint dead, alive and kicking in aussie. shes still single *pounce*
to the main point, in an attempt to rid myself being known as the face-too-small-for-body freak *glares at allicia*, i have decided to snip my fringe and cut my sides....
yes if you were wondering.... it was a bad idea...
well auntie was like "小弟已经很短了" but unfortunately i was determined and insisted on cutting it even shorter.
*side note*
oh you know something, at the salon they love to take off your spectacles such that you are deluded to think that you look good in the salon mirror but when you go home you can just shoot vomit at your own reflection.
anyway i skipped happily home feeling the breeze in my scalp for the first time in 2 and a half months.
if you were wondering what i look like .
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heres an example of some one with my hairstyle. tts not me btw.
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that is not me i swear to whoever.
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you can call me bookworm, monk, ugly, fugly whatever. you cant black mail me cause i have already acknowledge that i am ugly now ahahahaha. never felt so great to be ugly
talked to TEO XIN YUE today. yes people the one who went over to Australia ditching, i mean DITCHING me with the vicious Singaporean educational system. yea thats the one. no she aint dead, alive and kicking in aussie. shes still single *pounce*
to the main point, in an attempt to rid myself being known as the face-too-small-for-body freak *glares at allicia*, i have decided to snip my fringe and cut my sides....
yes if you were wondering.... it was a bad idea...
well auntie was like "小弟已经很短了" but unfortunately i was determined and insisted on cutting it even shorter.
*side note*
oh you know something, at the salon they love to take off your spectacles such that you are deluded to think that you look good in the salon mirror but when you go home you can just shoot vomit at your own reflection.
anyway i skipped happily home feeling the breeze in my scalp for the first time in 2 and a half months.
if you were wondering what i look like .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
heres an example of some one with my hairstyle. tts not me btw.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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that is not me i swear to whoever.
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you can call me bookworm, monk, ugly, fugly whatever. you cant black mail me cause i have already acknowledge that i am ugly now ahahahaha. never felt so great to be ugly
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Happy 50th-post day
ok this is my first blog that lasted for so long. i usually close my blog in 6 months then use another url coz it is either tracked by the school, found by my pesky cousins or my brother or my imaginary "elder sister" but most of all by plain paranoia.
and so to celebrate this occasion, i have decided to post top 10 excerpts from my previous posts that i like. enjoy!
"my opening statement:
i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship."
"i hate myself coz whenever i open my mouth, "slut or "bitch" comes out (unfortunately nt gold)." i still do that
"Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see."
"NJC's status report(all marks are give out of a maximum of 100 marks)
facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)"
"some f**king thief stole my DC and pumas argh f**k the hell outta them. i seriously hope the burn and get f**king raped million times. omg this aint the 1st time the shoe thief snitched my shoes and this time he knicked 2 at a go. argh f**k you man. if u ever let me see my pumas or DCs on ur feet, will make sure i chop off those f**king ankles of yours. afterall, why steal shoes when you have no feet to start with f**ker. shit i am so f**kin pissed till i can storm out the door and start hunting for them this very f**kin instant. f**king thief ruined my good friday. f**kin f**kers f**kin ard. f**k u" i dont use that word any more.
"5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist."
"who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all.... the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago"
"5.irritate your table mate
this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face."
"hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"
"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."
10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore
"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes."
"imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawnignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.
anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!"
and so to celebrate this occasion, i have decided to post top 10 excerpts from my previous posts that i like. enjoy!
"my opening statement:
i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship."
"i hate myself coz whenever i open my mouth, "slut or "bitch" comes out (unfortunately nt gold)." i still do that
"Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see."
"NJC's status report(all marks are give out of a maximum of 100 marks)
facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)"
"some f**king thief stole my DC and pumas argh f**k the hell outta them. i seriously hope the burn and get f**king raped million times. omg this aint the 1st time the shoe thief snitched my shoes and this time he knicked 2 at a go. argh f**k you man. if u ever let me see my pumas or DCs on ur feet, will make sure i chop off those f**king ankles of yours. afterall, why steal shoes when you have no feet to start with f**ker. shit i am so f**kin pissed till i can storm out the door and start hunting for them this very f**kin instant. f**king thief ruined my good friday. f**kin f**kers f**kin ard. f**k u" i dont use that word any more.
"5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist."
"who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all.... the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago"
"5.irritate your table mate
this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face."
"hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"
"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."
10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore
"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes."
"imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawnignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.
anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!"
a little more than swimming
on Monday this week, i went to Stefan's condo to swim and i realized in my current state, i will die when i sprint 2 laps at a go. i has been months since i last saw stef and omfg his complexion is fabulous! the spots that used to be occupied by Mr acne is now replaced by Ms humps. puffy red patches shaped like leeches took hostage on his cheeks, tantamount to the geographical map of the Himalayas. apparently they used to spew pus when ever they feel like it weeks ago.
anyway back to the main issue here, stefan COMMENTED THAT I PLUNGE LIKE A CHICKEN!!!
that really infuriated me and so to stefan: I hereby challenge you to SWIMMING SUIT BEAUTY CONTEST where the almighty lord be our judge and Micheal Phelps be our standard.
the criteria are as followed:
1. figure
2. facial appearance
3. butt shape
4. tan
5. legs (inclusive of leg hair)
6. back acne
5. intellect (there will be a sudden death quiz at the end)
here are the rules of the contest.
1. for every criterion, marks will be given out of 100 where 100 is micheal phelps' standard.
2. no cosmetic products are allowed
3. no bribery is allowed
4. drugs/surgery to enhance beauty is not tolerated
6. losers are to be the winner's bitch for the week
i am so gonna bust your ass stefan.
anyway back to the main issue here, stefan COMMENTED THAT I PLUNGE LIKE A CHICKEN!!!
that really infuriated me and so to stefan: I hereby challenge you to SWIMMING SUIT BEAUTY CONTEST where the almighty lord be our judge and Micheal Phelps be our standard.
the criteria are as followed:
1. figure
2. facial appearance
3. butt shape
4. tan
5. legs (inclusive of leg hair)
6. back acne
5. intellect (there will be a sudden death quiz at the end)
here are the rules of the contest.
1. for every criterion, marks will be given out of 100 where 100 is micheal phelps' standard.
2. no cosmetic products are allowed
3. no bribery is allowed
4. drugs/surgery to enhance beauty is not tolerated
6. losers are to be the winner's bitch for the week
i am so gonna bust your ass stefan.
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