Happy 50th-post day

ok this is my first blog that lasted for so long. i usually close my blog in 6 months then use another url coz it is either tracked by the school, found by my pesky cousins or my brother or my imaginary "elder sister" but most of all by plain paranoia.

and so to celebrate this occasion, i have decided to post top 10 excerpts from my previous posts that i like. enjoy!


"my opening statement:

i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship."

"i hate myself coz whenever i open my mouth, "slut or "bitch" comes out (unfortunately nt gold)." i still do that

"Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see."


"NJC's status report(all marks are give out of a maximum of 100 marks)

facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)"

"some f**king thief stole my DC and pumas argh f**k the hell outta them. i seriously hope the burn and get f**king raped million times. omg this aint the 1st time the shoe thief snitched my shoes and this time he knicked 2 at a go. argh f**k you man. if u ever let me see my pumas or DCs on ur feet, will make sure i chop off those f**king ankles of yours. afterall, why steal shoes when you have no feet to start with f**ker. shit i am so f**kin pissed till i can storm out the door and start hunting for them this very f**kin instant. f**king thief ruined my good friday. f**kin f**kers f**kin ard. f**k u" i dont use that word any more.

"5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist."

"who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all.... the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago"

"5.irritate your table mate

this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face."

"hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"

"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."

10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore

"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes."

"imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawnignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.

anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!"