big obnoxious auntie (BOA)

this was how i remembered:

i was sitting on the "priority seat" on the mrt which was approaching boon lay at that time. before the door opened, BOA was gluing her lumpy body to the mrt doors as though her weight will miraculously force the door open. from what i observed, BOA was eyeing the empty seat beside me but when the door opened, to her great pleasure, another auntie rushed in to take the seat beside me, to BOA's greatest displeasure. BOA frantically turned her gaze around in hopes of spotting another empty seat but there was too many competitive able bodied young people then who tactically took the seats near the door. BOA then STARED at me as though she is "priority". i bet she was half expecting me to give up my seat graciously like a gentleman cause i was witness to her desperate attempt to get a seat earlier. i can never forget those bulging eyes and flaring nostrils and oddly, those thighs that scream "MOTHER OF 20 100kg BABIES"

i returned her with the "HAHA slow poke" eyes and she got my message. she then leaned against the glass panel right beside me, perhaps thinking that she could scare me away with the sight of her butt pressing precariously against the glass.

and so i did a great stretch and tried to sleep, feeling all triumphant.

after the mrt left jurong east, i was disturbed by this lady talking really loudly over the phone (i pressumed initially and was right). i opened my eyes and BOA was sitting beside me.

she was speaking in this weird Cantonese-yet-sounds-vietnamese dialect. though i can only decipher certain words, this was how i thought she said. i was listening to my mp by the way:

BOA: this bag of bones din let me take his seat la. obnoxious right?

mp3: Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence

BOA: yea i hate people like that. cnat they see that we have to stand till raffles?

mp3: When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies (its GROUPIES NOT BOOBIES Ameline!!!)

(well actually she did not talk so little but i cant really cant comprehend the mumbo jumbo in between)

BOA: Yea Yea and i am teaching him a lesson right now. tick tick

this was when i started to turn around and to by ohmybloodyhellsavemegodplease horror, BOA was DIGGING her snout and flicking then in my direction. i freaked out. oh my shit this lady is trying to punish me with her nose shit. i clenched my jaw and tightened my fist. i knew i cant shout at her just yet cause EVERYONE would stare and laugh. thankfully we were approaching queenstown (my destination) and so when door opened i SHOT out of the train.

if i ever knew apathy towards a BOA would be so devastating, i would have GRACIOUSLY let her have my seat