Catalogue

today i casually left the college annual on my desk. upon seeing the book which summarises all the dark and evil secrets of the supposed 1st Junior College in Singapore, mother's little rodent eyes lighted up. she grabbed the book and scurried to the bed room to share her loot with my father.

this was what happened when i found out what they had once again tried to do:

me what are you doing


mum and dad (m&d) ei ei come and show me which one is your class

*intermission: i did not appear in the class photo cause i was shitting my guts out while my class was making merry while taking the class photo


me neh this one la points to 08s09

m&d who is this one ar? points to ******* (you will thank me for censoring the names. btw i did not count the *s so dont bother counting)

me see yourself la, all the names below

m&d aiyo she got peacock eyes leh (well peacock eyes is a term my family coined to describe girls with small eyes)

m&d look at her chin... can poke fish balls and feed you leh

me huh? why feed me

m&d no la i mean when she becomes your wife. ei where is the ****

me flips page and points

m&d stares in horror wah she so old. like 20 30 years old like that. wah she getting rounder like her mother. (and i shall stop there cause what they said after that wasnt something you want to know but neither could i remember)

m&d where is the girl we saw at the ******(shopping centre)


me flips and point

m&d wah not bad leh this one. very sweet very nice

me ok la she not really that bad. got brains one la

m&d i am glad you like her too

me stunned

m&d aiyah dont look at this, the IP one better flips to random IP class pict

m&d eeyer look at this one. no good la the face. (and i assumed they were referring to some superstition crap)

me this is one of my swimmer smiling hopefully


m&d no good la. let you choose then you choose some one that looks like a hanger (another term copyright of the Wong family which refers to broad shoulders like that of a hanger)

m&d nevermind we choose for you, good one call you come and see. mummy know whats best for you.

leave it to my family. give them a college annual and they think its a catalogue of eligible bechalorettes.