my neighbours

well theres something i should tell about my neighbours. none of them are sane.

starting from the family on the left of my block. not long before they moved, they were still looking great. the husband had a small inverted triangle body shape with muscles so tight that you just might be able to reach into his rack and eat his abs like mantous. the wife was hot: tall slender and tanned. but over the years a daughter popped out. i dont know if its due to the pregnancy or the husband's humongous dingo, but the wife's hips widdened like canyon. they got fat over the days and now they are like any other potbellied-husband-flabby-wife combo. they are an oddly happy family. Every saturday or sunday, they will have their family/friends gathering. i have never once heard them shout or cry. its usually the boisterous laughter filling their house and emanating to the corridors. what the fuck? why are they so friggin happy when they are so fat. i bet the reason why i dont hear their quarrels is cause their parents ,who renovated their house personally, built a underground dungeon. every night, the husband andwife would have to go back to the dungeon to wait on their parents hand and feet or they shall be whipped. in an attempt to put up a facade, they employed actors to act as their family members every weekend. ah ha! thats where they made the most obvious mistake: no family is that happy all the time unless they are all high on crack.

neighbour 2 is the family living along the corridor. god this is ODD with double cap Ds. lets just start with the mother. she is this auntie who we all nicknamed wan bao. this ingenious nickname was coined by me cause she is really like some tabloid magazine. she has her paparazzi planted at every block she kinda knows whats going on in the entire estate all the time. she is the most fearful gossip queen i have every heard of. sometimes i am forced to walk with her back home from the MRT. she would then fill me in with LOTS AND LOTS of gossips like "you know or not huh, the auntie at the end hor, her son ar broke up with his girl friend leh. aiyo yound people nowadays ar, cannot be together for long one leh. eh you got girl friend or not?" yes and ever so often she would try to dig dirt about my family. her daughter is also another force not to be meddled with. after she got back her As, she was so sad that she CAME TO MY FRIGGIN HOUSE. like WTF! apparently she treats my house like some counseling centre. so SHE MADE US LISTEN TO HER SOB STORIES ABOUT HOW SHE WAS NOT DOIN WELL IN JJC. like fuck i care. the son aint some saint either. i cant stand it when he tries to be chummy with me all the time. the worst part was there was one i went out to take out the trash in my AC dance shirt. AND HE FRIGGIN SAW. so he came out to tell me how much he loved dancing in JJC (we are of the same age and he is in JJ dance). "why dont we both do dance one day". Weird look.

finally there is the china people above me. yep the auntie who complained about my singing is from that family. in chronological order, in the past, the china father and the china son smoked at the balcony and shook their cigarette ashes out the balcony. they then got blown into my balcony directly below. side note: my parents are CLEAN FREAKS. anyway, my father just mopped the balcony and when he realised that it was dirty again, he went up to complain. after that, she auntie caught me singing at 6 am and complained. an eye for an eye. then there was another time when we found dust-like particles in our balcony. my mum went up to complain thinking that they threw ashes again. and so my mum went up and the auntie said that no one was smoking. she then assured my mum "oh 不是灰尘, 是我的头皮屑"