just got back from malaysia and god you wont imagine how much i missed out on:
1. Eileen is ******
2. Yining is currently shooting vomit (in her own words)
3. Stefan is avoiding my messages so i will just assume he is rotting away in india
4. 2 people wrote on my wall in facebook (i am no cave man my dear)
5. My cousin who wanted to beat my PSLE score got 235. you are 100 years too young my friend
6. 2 new characters were released on grandchase (some game about 3 gals and 3 boys trying to save the world from the monster kaze'aze)
RYLA or also known as Rotary Youth Leadership Awards was great. it was themed " discovering the real me" and hell did i discover my lack tolerance for talks that last for hours.
hot dam the highlight of the camp was the hot air balloon ride which i did not get on cause the wind was too strong. heres what happened: day 1, we tried to get the barlon (as the instructors called it) inflated but failed. the process on inflation was the most amusing. we used a huge fan, like those you see in courts and harvey norman, to inflate the balloon and so it was placed facing the opening of the balloon. good natured rotaract uncles and aunties rushed to help to hold the opening in an attempt to allow more air into balloon. the interesting thing is while they helped out, here comes the paparazzi squad which swarmed the scene to snap photo of the inflation process. it was at this moment when the uncles and aunties became aware of their presence and decided to look pretty and fun in photo instead of some random calafare. and so instead of holding the opening up, they started to camwhore at the opening with the fan blowing their hair back as though they are in a photo studio, resulting in an overall FAILURE. day 2 wasa better and some groups went up on the hot air barlon.
day 2 was crappy with all the talks packed back to back.
day 3 was alot better. We had to prepare for talent night (which yang zhi evidently loathed). there was a clown workshop too and we painted our own faces which i did not cause there was a short of face paint. well the real reason was i refused to let my o-so-godly face tainted with grease paint with the hands of an unskilled artist who cant bring out my inner beauty. anyway my group came up with our very own "dinky the kinky transgender with a sexy pout" clown. we salsaed for talent night and boy can we shake some booty. one other group did this transgender malaysia's next top model show which was bloody funny. god you guys should have seen the photos.
day 4 was terrible. terribly sad cause we had to part ways with the malaysian campers.
the camp rocked ass cause of the other campers. loved it baby.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
the arena
I went to New Balance shoe sale today, limped actually cause i tore something in my left knee. when i stood at the corridor i could feel the sinapore spirit implode in me. yes, all inhibitions set free, the kiasu spirit soared into the atmosphere. i rolled up my sleeves, clenched my fist, contracted my calf muscles, its time to showdown. *i really did not do all that*
there was this ang moh couple who stood beside me, if i read correctly from their wide eyes as though they saw some one with six legs buying shoes, awe struck. i looked at their expressions with amusement, resisting the urge to say "welcome to singapore".
back to my brawl with fellow kiasuist *you can quote me on this*, i shoved and jostle through the crowd to the counter. it was then when i understood why this sale pulled such a crowd; shoe with a store price of $145 was sold at 80 dollars *cheap ar cheap*
Pandemonium erupted right inside the room. there where aunties grabbing 4 pairs of shoes in their right hand and their screaming babies in the other; there were uncles wearing 2 or more tee shirts over their sweaty singlets as though they are trying to mark their selected tees with their smell; young people clutching 6-7 clothes hangers under their armpits while bringing the tees to their shoulders; the most irritating of all were the children huddling in every single corner playing their PSPs, absolutely indifferent to the seductively low prices. please respect the kiasuists, show some enthusiasm or just get out. kiasuist chapter 6 verse 12: all corners are for shoe/garment fitting, absolutely no hogging.
while i screamed my shoe size into the ears of jeffery mok *yea he was there*, the other kiasuist were either busy balancing 4 to 5 boxes of shoes at the cashier or busy assuming that they have 10 pairs of legs (they were trying out 10 nor more pairs of shoes at once).
oh yea i happen to know 5 out of the 7 helpers there (what the hell is this? Friends-of-ken-yan gathering?)
that aside i left the sale with 3 pairs of shoes 2 tees and one jacket. and for the record even though all the tees and jacket were mine, i only bought one pair of shoes
as i left saw the ang moh couple all dejected and empty handed. either they have feet size of a yeti or they juist cant beat the singaporeans at the kiasu showdown ( refers to all shoe/garment warehouse sales, free gift counters, and Macdonalds outlets during the hello kitty seasons)
there was this ang moh couple who stood beside me, if i read correctly from their wide eyes as though they saw some one with six legs buying shoes, awe struck. i looked at their expressions with amusement, resisting the urge to say "welcome to singapore".
back to my brawl with fellow kiasuist *you can quote me on this*, i shoved and jostle through the crowd to the counter. it was then when i understood why this sale pulled such a crowd; shoe with a store price of $145 was sold at 80 dollars *cheap ar cheap*
Pandemonium erupted right inside the room. there where aunties grabbing 4 pairs of shoes in their right hand and their screaming babies in the other; there were uncles wearing 2 or more tee shirts over their sweaty singlets as though they are trying to mark their selected tees with their smell; young people clutching 6-7 clothes hangers under their armpits while bringing the tees to their shoulders; the most irritating of all were the children huddling in every single corner playing their PSPs, absolutely indifferent to the seductively low prices. please respect the kiasuists, show some enthusiasm or just get out. kiasuist chapter 6 verse 12: all corners are for shoe/garment fitting, absolutely no hogging.
while i screamed my shoe size into the ears of jeffery mok *yea he was there*, the other kiasuist were either busy balancing 4 to 5 boxes of shoes at the cashier or busy assuming that they have 10 pairs of legs (they were trying out 10 nor more pairs of shoes at once).
oh yea i happen to know 5 out of the 7 helpers there (what the hell is this? Friends-of-ken-yan gathering?)
that aside i left the sale with 3 pairs of shoes 2 tees and one jacket. and for the record even though all the tees and jacket were mine, i only bought one pair of shoes
as i left saw the ang moh couple all dejected and empty handed. either they have feet size of a yeti or they juist cant beat the singaporeans at the kiasu showdown ( refers to all shoe/garment warehouse sales, free gift counters, and Macdonalds outlets during the hello kitty seasons)
back from camp
yn and eil are back from China woohoo. and at this moment as i blog, eileen is blogging as well while our dearest yining is trying her very best to scrape every bit of china out from her scalp.
before i forget i must really tell you guys how camp was like.
camping is forever such a hassle. it was fun while it lasted.
first day was our land expedition and so we walk 5km, that bloody 5 km earned my group 2 points and me 3 blisters on my feet. nightcycle was great feeling with the wind in my hair and the smell of nectar in the cold yet lonely night. the trees cried in the wind as though calling out for us to stop, to listen, to accompany. the horny cicada screamed out for their mates in the silent night. actually none of that happened, except the cicada part which Estelle insisted on. our dearest group ic (adrian) decided to stock up on apollo biscuits from the snack pile during the break, which we feasted on day 3 in the guy's dorms ... without the girls.
second day was sea exp so we build a raft out of barrels and poles which was to be sailed out to sea. under the delusion that the raft we built will float, we proudly set it out to sail. well it wasnt long before the raft started to disintegrate - one barrel abandoned the raft at mid-sea. it wasnt all bad except we had to turn back half way coz we were too bloody slow.
third day was kayaking. woo hoo hot and sexy all the way with Safarina (what a pretty name). oozing with charm and energy out at sea, i can confidently say that all the other kayakers were jealous of us especially the sorrowful duo who went "fat", "ugly" at alternate strokes. we had out door cooking that day as well which wasnt much of a disaster (besides the part where i broke our only two eggs on the first day of camp) considering we got 3rd out of 8 groups. the corned beef looked like dog food but if you really stared hard you would have really though they were meat balls. thank god we pulled that off in front of the judges. group 2 FTW!!
fourth day was ropes course... nothing much to talk about except how the teachers cheated us of the ride on the zip line and how they threatened to burst our testicles with the freaking tight harnesses and taut belaying rope at every station.
fifth day was a 8km run at 3AM. i officially declare my legs fake from now on. we did an area clean up after during which my group had to clean the bunks, good luck to those cleaning the toilets (floating pads, squished worms, disposable undies you get the idea). nothing note worthy except you can observe how often people turn a blind eye to a mountain of sand at the corner.
food everyday was ok except my group mates dont eat their greens and i end up with 4-5 serving of vegetables.
lastly, it is true that you lose weight after camp, this applies to everyone, no matter what weight. got 1.5kg over 5 days now i am bloody 48kg. FREAKING 48kg. all time low in 3 months
before i forget i must really tell you guys how camp was like.
camping is forever such a hassle. it was fun while it lasted.
first day was our land expedition and so we walk 5km, that bloody 5 km earned my group 2 points and me 3 blisters on my feet. nightcycle was great feeling with the wind in my hair and the smell of nectar in the cold yet lonely night. the trees cried in the wind as though calling out for us to stop, to listen, to accompany. the horny cicada screamed out for their mates in the silent night. actually none of that happened, except the cicada part which Estelle insisted on. our dearest group ic (adrian) decided to stock up on apollo biscuits from the snack pile during the break, which we feasted on day 3 in the guy's dorms ... without the girls.
second day was sea exp so we build a raft out of barrels and poles which was to be sailed out to sea. under the delusion that the raft we built will float, we proudly set it out to sail. well it wasnt long before the raft started to disintegrate - one barrel abandoned the raft at mid-sea. it wasnt all bad except we had to turn back half way coz we were too bloody slow.
third day was kayaking. woo hoo hot and sexy all the way with Safarina (what a pretty name). oozing with charm and energy out at sea, i can confidently say that all the other kayakers were jealous of us especially the sorrowful duo who went "fat", "ugly" at alternate strokes. we had out door cooking that day as well which wasnt much of a disaster (besides the part where i broke our only two eggs on the first day of camp) considering we got 3rd out of 8 groups. the corned beef looked like dog food but if you really stared hard you would have really though they were meat balls. thank god we pulled that off in front of the judges. group 2 FTW!!
fourth day was ropes course... nothing much to talk about except how the teachers cheated us of the ride on the zip line and how they threatened to burst our testicles with the freaking tight harnesses and taut belaying rope at every station.
fifth day was a 8km run at 3AM. i officially declare my legs fake from now on. we did an area clean up after during which my group had to clean the bunks, good luck to those cleaning the toilets (floating pads, squished worms, disposable undies you get the idea). nothing note worthy except you can observe how often people turn a blind eye to a mountain of sand at the corner.
food everyday was ok except my group mates dont eat their greens and i end up with 4-5 serving of vegetables.
lastly, it is true that you lose weight after camp, this applies to everyone, no matter what weight. got 1.5kg over 5 days now i am bloody 48kg. FREAKING 48kg. all time low in 3 months
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Saving her
i just watched Money Not Enough II (not the deliberate grammar mistake) today. yea its another typical Singaporean with heaps of subtle morality crap. crappy show but it still got to me.
There is this scene where this guy's daughter and mom in need of urgent blood transfusion but there is only one bag of blood. be warned that the director made this a very tilted balance by casting the daughter young and hot while the grandmother is all old and dying. "save the daughter" i hear you scream, and that was exactly what the guy did. this is another 2-people-drowning-but-who-would-you-save question, the one which baffled everyone, well me at least, for all these years. who would i save?
i really don't know the answer, if i were to be in that situation i would come up with a santa claus' gift list long debate on who to save, but by then both would have drowned. this is everyone's weakness i guess, indecision i mean. when it comes to 2 things that one values most, it is hard for one to take side.
ask yourself who would you save if both your daughter and mother were drowning. if you can come up with an answer in 3 seconds, "you are inhuman" i say.
There is this scene where this guy's daughter and mom in need of urgent blood transfusion but there is only one bag of blood. be warned that the director made this a very tilted balance by casting the daughter young and hot while the grandmother is all old and dying. "save the daughter" i hear you scream, and that was exactly what the guy did. this is another 2-people-drowning-but-who-would-you-save question, the one which baffled everyone, well me at least, for all these years. who would i save?
i really don't know the answer, if i were to be in that situation i would come up with a santa claus' gift list long debate on who to save, but by then both would have drowned. this is everyone's weakness i guess, indecision i mean. when it comes to 2 things that one values most, it is hard for one to take side.
ask yourself who would you save if both your daughter and mother were drowning. if you can come up with an answer in 3 seconds, "you are inhuman" i say.
Monday, November 3, 2008
SBW
just read SBW's blog and i almost shot vomit all over the floor. SBW i really a walking scandal machine bleh the ugliest bitch around (dont worry stef you are better than her).
i just checked her photostrip and god it was TRUE her boobs SAG. its terrible. how do you put this nicely,
erm her boobs reached her knees? actually they are more of searching for coins on the floor. or rather, she has to drag them around as she walks. i really cant describe the SAGGINESS.
i just checked her photostrip and god it was TRUE her boobs SAG. its terrible. how do you put this nicely,
erm her boobs reached her knees? actually they are more of searching for coins on the floor. or rather, she has to drag them around as she walks. i really cant describe the SAGGINESS.
Friday, October 31, 2008
My jaw job
sorry to dissapoint u guys but unfornutnately i am still alive and kicking despite not posting any funny shit for a VERY VERY LOooong time.
nothing has been going on in my life except just 4 hours ago, my teacher advised me to get my jaw done. apparently he aint a fan of sharp chins and wanted mine to be a little squarish like his. and yes that hurts a lot. i guess i should give him an advice in return: suck your pansy ass and dont you ever critque my godly body features. yes that was my ego talking
nothing has been going on in my life except just 4 hours ago, my teacher advised me to get my jaw done. apparently he aint a fan of sharp chins and wanted mine to be a little squarish like his. and yes that hurts a lot. i guess i should give him an advice in return: suck your pansy ass and dont you ever critque my godly body features. yes that was my ego talking
Thursday, October 23, 2008
boring Boring BORING
i know i have been lazy with my blog posting. well its coz of the all wretched PW and this frickin sore throat
lastest update on my life:
visited yesterday we visited OCS (officer cadet school) some fricking high end military institute.
to celebrate my reopening entry, i am going to do this in a dear diary style *adopted from SBW's blog*
Dear diary,
i visited OCS yesterday and i thought it was UBER cool. at 6.45 i woke up late and decided to give yang zhi a call to tell him that i would be late. i then rushed out of the house without bathing or washing my face. i got dressed and sprinted out of the house to the MRT station. i dont know if i was just being paranoid or the other commuters were really avoiding me. you have no idea how i smell like when i dont bathe in the morning XP *sticks tongue out*
guess what i saw when i reached clementi MRT? i saw YANG ZHI. oh my god it was soooo coool. Imagine telling him that i would be late then seeing later. like oh my god the school journey with him was like travelling with a star. when ever i turn around i can feel people screaming my name * now i've got a confession lalala...when i was young...* oh my god yang zhi is such a cool guy >.<
then later we had the usual boring assembly sessions. every day i secretly hoped that V.C's pants would drop cause that would add excitement to the mundane 30 minutes. after assembly we were divided into groups of 40 my some of my fwens had to split up *awww*:[
my group ic was shawn and alex and gabriel. they were really cool yea know? all dressed in chamo uniform...
shit i cant do this any more.
the assembly was boring as usual. 3 weird people became my ic. could not be bothered with all the army stories they tried to intrigues me with and so i continues to read my "new moon" by stefanie meyers. i really cant stand it when they use millitary jagons like cheongsua (which apparently means rushing up the mountains), BSS ( i dont even know whats that), SAFTI (SG arm forces training institute i think) etc. newsflash peeps i dont give a freaking damn.
when we reached OCS we got our goodie bag *cheepo alterego: whoohoo free stuff* which i threw a way at the end cos it was packed with worthless stuff eg. brochures, maps, all the mechanics of brainwashing.
i saw the new army getup. omfg it was like some primary school spraying 3 shades of green glitter all over their clothes. as ugly as stefan.
we went visiting around the quarters. boring
we went to shoot targets. boring
we got to use nigh vision binoculars. boring
went back to exhibition room. boring
i dunno why everyone has this weird notion that i am gonna be a commando. everytime the army peeps mention "signing on, training, commando course, guard" they will turn their hamster eyes to me. damn u. how do they know my ambition?
the best part of the trip was the journey home cause it was raining and i could get some shut eye at last.
the whole journey was boing, Boring, BORING. i probably yawned more than the number of times they used the word "Fuck" in my face. damit i know what that word it so stop demonstrating. i definitely use it more often than you do.
oh one more thing. they(army peeps) asked me if i was attached. i was like uh huh. then every stared.
anyway there is a 90% breakup rate in the NS so yea. every one ditch your partner before she ditches you.
lastest update on my life:
visited yesterday we visited OCS (officer cadet school) some fricking high end military institute.
to celebrate my reopening entry, i am going to do this in a dear diary style *adopted from SBW's blog*
Dear diary,
i visited OCS yesterday and i thought it was UBER cool. at 6.45 i woke up late and decided to give yang zhi a call to tell him that i would be late. i then rushed out of the house without bathing or washing my face. i got dressed and sprinted out of the house to the MRT station. i dont know if i was just being paranoid or the other commuters were really avoiding me. you have no idea how i smell like when i dont bathe in the morning XP *sticks tongue out*
guess what i saw when i reached clementi MRT? i saw YANG ZHI. oh my god it was soooo coool. Imagine telling him that i would be late then seeing later. like oh my god the school journey with him was like travelling with a star. when ever i turn around i can feel people screaming my name * now i've got a confession lalala...when i was young...* oh my god yang zhi is such a cool guy >.<
then later we had the usual boring assembly sessions. every day i secretly hoped that V.C's pants would drop cause that would add excitement to the mundane 30 minutes. after assembly we were divided into groups of 40 my some of my fwens had to split up *awww*:[
my group ic was shawn and alex and gabriel. they were really cool yea know? all dressed in chamo uniform...
shit i cant do this any more.
the assembly was boring as usual. 3 weird people became my ic. could not be bothered with all the army stories they tried to intrigues me with and so i continues to read my "new moon" by stefanie meyers. i really cant stand it when they use millitary jagons like cheongsua (which apparently means rushing up the mountains), BSS ( i dont even know whats that), SAFTI (SG arm forces training institute i think) etc. newsflash peeps i dont give a freaking damn.
when we reached OCS we got our goodie bag *cheepo alterego: whoohoo free stuff* which i threw a way at the end cos it was packed with worthless stuff eg. brochures, maps, all the mechanics of brainwashing.
i saw the new army getup. omfg it was like some primary school spraying 3 shades of green glitter all over their clothes. as ugly as stefan.
we went visiting around the quarters. boring
we went to shoot targets. boring
we got to use nigh vision binoculars. boring
went back to exhibition room. boring
i dunno why everyone has this weird notion that i am gonna be a commando. everytime the army peeps mention "signing on, training, commando course, guard" they will turn their hamster eyes to me. damn u. how do they know my ambition?
the best part of the trip was the journey home cause it was raining and i could get some shut eye at last.
the whole journey was boing, Boring, BORING. i probably yawned more than the number of times they used the word "Fuck" in my face. damit i know what that word it so stop demonstrating. i definitely use it more often than you do.
oh one more thing. they(army peeps) asked me if i was attached. i was like uh huh. then every stared.
anyway there is a 90% breakup rate in the NS so yea. every one ditch your partner before she ditches you.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
PW sucks so bad
PW is an SSS subject (sickening, sadistic and such-a-waste-of-time).
-sickening-
like omfg you can spend 3 hours on discussing on how to polish your written then another 3-4 hours on ways to meet the word requirements. the next day, the supposedly improved report is thrown back at you full of red marks and subtle insults to your writing skills.
-sadistic-
teachers really know how to play mind games. when theres too much time left, teachers praise your project to the skies, giving you the false impression that you are really going to do well. then then theres only 3 days left to the final submission, they decided life is too boring and start looking at your project seriously. it is only then when they realise the many loopholes. you would wish that they would give constructive comments but all they really want to do is to find even more loop holes and tear your project up at the very last minute. perhaps they love the ephemeral euphoria from seeing us slumped at a corner, all worn out and dejected.
-such-a-waste-of-time-
3hrs a week X 40 weeks=120 hours of project work preparation in a year excluding externally conducted meetings, all for a 3000 words and 30mins chance to get a the best grade. that sure suck
-sickening-
like omfg you can spend 3 hours on discussing on how to polish your written then another 3-4 hours on ways to meet the word requirements. the next day, the supposedly improved report is thrown back at you full of red marks and subtle insults to your writing skills.
-sadistic-
teachers really know how to play mind games. when theres too much time left, teachers praise your project to the skies, giving you the false impression that you are really going to do well. then then theres only 3 days left to the final submission, they decided life is too boring and start looking at your project seriously. it is only then when they realise the many loopholes. you would wish that they would give constructive comments but all they really want to do is to find even more loop holes and tear your project up at the very last minute. perhaps they love the ephemeral euphoria from seeing us slumped at a corner, all worn out and dejected.
-such-a-waste-of-time-
3hrs a week X 40 weeks=120 hours of project work preparation in a year excluding externally conducted meetings, all for a 3000 words and 30mins chance to get a the best grade. that sure suck
Sunday, October 5, 2008
my hairy issue part 2
side note:
talked to TEO XIN YUE today. yes people the one who went over to Australia ditching, i mean DITCHING me with the vicious Singaporean educational system. yea thats the one. no she aint dead, alive and kicking in aussie. shes still single *pounce*
to the main point, in an attempt to rid myself being known as the face-too-small-for-body freak *glares at allicia*, i have decided to snip my fringe and cut my sides....
yes if you were wondering.... it was a bad idea...
well auntie was like "小弟已经很短了" but unfortunately i was determined and insisted on cutting it even shorter.
*side note*
oh you know something, at the salon they love to take off your spectacles such that you are deluded to think that you look good in the salon mirror but when you go home you can just shoot vomit at your own reflection.
anyway i skipped happily home feeling the breeze in my scalp for the first time in 2 and a half months.
if you were wondering what i look like .
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heres an example of some one with my hairstyle. tts not me btw.
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that is not me i swear to whoever.
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you can call me bookworm, monk, ugly, fugly whatever. you cant black mail me cause i have already acknowledge that i am ugly now ahahahaha. never felt so great to be ugly
talked to TEO XIN YUE today. yes people the one who went over to Australia ditching, i mean DITCHING me with the vicious Singaporean educational system. yea thats the one. no she aint dead, alive and kicking in aussie. shes still single *pounce*
to the main point, in an attempt to rid myself being known as the face-too-small-for-body freak *glares at allicia*, i have decided to snip my fringe and cut my sides....
yes if you were wondering.... it was a bad idea...
well auntie was like "小弟已经很短了" but unfortunately i was determined and insisted on cutting it even shorter.
*side note*
oh you know something, at the salon they love to take off your spectacles such that you are deluded to think that you look good in the salon mirror but when you go home you can just shoot vomit at your own reflection.
anyway i skipped happily home feeling the breeze in my scalp for the first time in 2 and a half months.
if you were wondering what i look like .
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heres an example of some one with my hairstyle. tts not me btw.
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that is not me i swear to whoever.
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you can call me bookworm, monk, ugly, fugly whatever. you cant black mail me cause i have already acknowledge that i am ugly now ahahahaha. never felt so great to be ugly
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Happy 50th-post day
ok this is my first blog that lasted for so long. i usually close my blog in 6 months then use another url coz it is either tracked by the school, found by my pesky cousins or my brother or my imaginary "elder sister" but most of all by plain paranoia.
and so to celebrate this occasion, i have decided to post top 10 excerpts from my previous posts that i like. enjoy!
"my opening statement:
i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship."
"i hate myself coz whenever i open my mouth, "slut or "bitch" comes out (unfortunately nt gold)." i still do that
"Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see."
"NJC's status report(all marks are give out of a maximum of 100 marks)
facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)"
"some f**king thief stole my DC and pumas argh f**k the hell outta them. i seriously hope the burn and get f**king raped million times. omg this aint the 1st time the shoe thief snitched my shoes and this time he knicked 2 at a go. argh f**k you man. if u ever let me see my pumas or DCs on ur feet, will make sure i chop off those f**king ankles of yours. afterall, why steal shoes when you have no feet to start with f**ker. shit i am so f**kin pissed till i can storm out the door and start hunting for them this very f**kin instant. f**king thief ruined my good friday. f**kin f**kers f**kin ard. f**k u" i dont use that word any more.
"5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist."
"who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all.... the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago"
"5.irritate your table mate
this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face."
"hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"
"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."
10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore
"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes."
"imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawnignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.
anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!"
and so to celebrate this occasion, i have decided to post top 10 excerpts from my previous posts that i like. enjoy!
"my opening statement:
i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship."
"i hate myself coz whenever i open my mouth, "slut or "bitch" comes out (unfortunately nt gold)." i still do that
"Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see."
"NJC's status report(all marks are give out of a maximum of 100 marks)
facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)"
"some f**king thief stole my DC and pumas argh f**k the hell outta them. i seriously hope the burn and get f**king raped million times. omg this aint the 1st time the shoe thief snitched my shoes and this time he knicked 2 at a go. argh f**k you man. if u ever let me see my pumas or DCs on ur feet, will make sure i chop off those f**king ankles of yours. afterall, why steal shoes when you have no feet to start with f**ker. shit i am so f**kin pissed till i can storm out the door and start hunting for them this very f**kin instant. f**king thief ruined my good friday. f**kin f**kers f**kin ard. f**k u" i dont use that word any more.
"5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist."
"who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all.... the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago"
"5.irritate your table mate
this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face."
"hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"
"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."
10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore
"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes."
"imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawnignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.
anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!"
a little more than swimming
on Monday this week, i went to Stefan's condo to swim and i realized in my current state, i will die when i sprint 2 laps at a go. i has been months since i last saw stef and omfg his complexion is fabulous! the spots that used to be occupied by Mr acne is now replaced by Ms humps. puffy red patches shaped like leeches took hostage on his cheeks, tantamount to the geographical map of the Himalayas. apparently they used to spew pus when ever they feel like it weeks ago.
anyway back to the main issue here, stefan COMMENTED THAT I PLUNGE LIKE A CHICKEN!!!
that really infuriated me and so to stefan: I hereby challenge you to SWIMMING SUIT BEAUTY CONTEST where the almighty lord be our judge and Micheal Phelps be our standard.
the criteria are as followed:
1. figure
2. facial appearance
3. butt shape
4. tan
5. legs (inclusive of leg hair)
6. back acne
5. intellect (there will be a sudden death quiz at the end)
here are the rules of the contest.
1. for every criterion, marks will be given out of 100 where 100 is micheal phelps' standard.
2. no cosmetic products are allowed
3. no bribery is allowed
4. drugs/surgery to enhance beauty is not tolerated
6. losers are to be the winner's bitch for the week
i am so gonna bust your ass stefan.
anyway back to the main issue here, stefan COMMENTED THAT I PLUNGE LIKE A CHICKEN!!!
that really infuriated me and so to stefan: I hereby challenge you to SWIMMING SUIT BEAUTY CONTEST where the almighty lord be our judge and Micheal Phelps be our standard.
the criteria are as followed:
1. figure
2. facial appearance
3. butt shape
4. tan
5. legs (inclusive of leg hair)
6. back acne
5. intellect (there will be a sudden death quiz at the end)
here are the rules of the contest.
1. for every criterion, marks will be given out of 100 where 100 is micheal phelps' standard.
2. no cosmetic products are allowed
3. no bribery is allowed
4. drugs/surgery to enhance beauty is not tolerated
6. losers are to be the winner's bitch for the week
i am so gonna bust your ass stefan.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
singapore's blogging society
Singapore is such a bloggers' haven. let me introduce some bloggers who some of you guys might know or not know exp those who have been away from singapore for like almost a year *glares* (yes i know you read my blog even though u dont tag)
1)Xia Xue xiaxue.blogpsot.com
she is the queen of obscenities deserving the 1000-penises award cause every post is about penis cock and balls. what a disgusting bitch. cant she act like a lady just like our dear eileen? she is also another i-love-pink-stuff bimbo who vomitted at least 10 posts on her pig nose which was worked on last year.
2)Xiang Xiang WANG ZI fraganceprince.blogspot.com
probably the first blogger to dethrone xia xue by posting racist stuff. damnit. i hate racists. dun get me started on racism cause it is gonna be a thesis report. his blog is already on private but heres some quotes:
"no matter how highly Singapore sits on the map there is still the part we cant erase... and thats the heartlanders and those gross out people in society"
respond:
firstly the map is flat so singapore cant "sit highly" on it. secondly as long as u live in a HDB, u are a heartlander, in the case of singapore, 70% of us are heartlanders dumbass.
"Even if you are a Malay and am reading this... good for you..coz this is my personal blog and i can say what i deem fit.... if u wana defend yourself.... i suggest you arm youself with education and a motor mouth to compete against me.. else dont bother... coz i will bet my life on the line that, should you challenge me in a conversation... you will lose like what a true malay would.... LIKE **** !!!"
respond:
this is definitely the most racist post ever, utterly deserving of a lethal injection or a noose around his neck. i swear i can win you in a verbal shoot off with my ears closed.
3) Dawn Yang http://www.dawnyang.com/
shes so cute i dont want to diss her today. shes is so cheery that she vomits sunshine. dont expect to see much words cause its a plog (photo log).
4) Sarong party girl sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com
another horny girl posting about her numerous sexcapades. i have not seen her blog before so i cannot comment much. the site is for those above 21 since it may contain disturbing contents. you were warned!
5) Sonjia sonjia.blogpsot.com
a crazy rvian ranting on her school days. though there are certain vulgarities thrown in here and there, the posts are generally humorous and clean.
6) Eileen Yeo paraphernalia.ebloggy.com
another funny blog but sometimes i dont read it cause spelling the word paraphernalia is so god damn daunting already.
7) Teo Yi Ning http://relaxandrelapse.ebloggy.com/
blog belongs to lawn-for-legs girl. this jukebox features a new song on every post(sorry i just happen to notice).
1)Xia Xue xiaxue.blogpsot.com
she is the queen of obscenities deserving the 1000-penises award cause every post is about penis cock and balls. what a disgusting bitch. cant she act like a lady just like our dear eileen? she is also another i-love-pink-stuff bimbo who vomitted at least 10 posts on her pig nose which was worked on last year.
2)Xiang Xiang WANG ZI fraganceprince.blogspot.com
probably the first blogger to dethrone xia xue by posting racist stuff. damnit. i hate racists. dun get me started on racism cause it is gonna be a thesis report. his blog is already on private but heres some quotes:
"no matter how highly Singapore sits on the map there is still the part we cant erase... and thats the heartlanders and those gross out people in society"
respond:
firstly the map is flat so singapore cant "sit highly" on it. secondly as long as u live in a HDB, u are a heartlander, in the case of singapore, 70% of us are heartlanders dumbass.
"Even if you are a Malay and am reading this... good for you..coz this is my personal blog and i can say what i deem fit.... if u wana defend yourself.... i suggest you arm youself with education and a motor mouth to compete against me.. else dont bother... coz i will bet my life on the line that, should you challenge me in a conversation... you will lose like what a true malay would.... LIKE **** !!!"
respond:
this is definitely the most racist post ever, utterly deserving of a lethal injection or a noose around his neck. i swear i can win you in a verbal shoot off with my ears closed.
3) Dawn Yang http://www.dawnyang.com/
shes so cute i dont want to diss her today. shes is so cheery that she vomits sunshine. dont expect to see much words cause its a plog (photo log).
4) Sarong party girl sarongpartygirl.blogspot.com
another horny girl posting about her numerous sexcapades. i have not seen her blog before so i cannot comment much. the site is for those above 21 since it may contain disturbing contents. you were warned!
5) Sonjia sonjia.blogpsot.com
a crazy rvian ranting on her school days. though there are certain vulgarities thrown in here and there, the posts are generally humorous and clean.
6) Eileen Yeo paraphernalia.ebloggy.com
another funny blog but sometimes i dont read it cause spelling the word paraphernalia is so god damn daunting already.
7) Teo Yi Ning http://relaxandrelapse.ebloggy.com/
blog belongs to lawn-for-legs girl. this jukebox features a new song on every post(sorry i just happen to notice).
the end for one and the start for another
it was the last paper of their promotional exams. the students in national junior college's hall broke their tense demeanor which they had maintained for over a week or so as soon as the invigilators announced their dismissal. students leaped into the air in exuberance - some were dancing on the very tables they have used for that week while others chest bumped their friends. however they all had common intention : to leave the school as soon as possible.
over the weeks and months, students toiled through the night with caffeine as their daily companion, passed up on numerous dates, took winks during lessons, all for this very moment. this ephemeral exultance seems to be worth the effort.
as they skipped out of the school in throngs, engaged in their small talk about their plans for later, they saw their very own reflection of what they were months ago. students from Hwa Chong Institution were standing at the bus stop in a dispersed fashion, all buried in their notes and books. on hearing the cacophony form the mob, their brows knitted together in envy, mouths making small movements as if murmuring "how i wish i could be them".
At the sight of this scene, students from national junior college could not bother to give two hoots. after all, they are like birds out of a cage, prisoners out of jail, students out of the exam hall; they going to paint the town red.
over the weeks and months, students toiled through the night with caffeine as their daily companion, passed up on numerous dates, took winks during lessons, all for this very moment. this ephemeral exultance seems to be worth the effort.
as they skipped out of the school in throngs, engaged in their small talk about their plans for later, they saw their very own reflection of what they were months ago. students from Hwa Chong Institution were standing at the bus stop in a dispersed fashion, all buried in their notes and books. on hearing the cacophony form the mob, their brows knitted together in envy, mouths making small movements as if murmuring "how i wish i could be them".
At the sight of this scene, students from national junior college could not bother to give two hoots. after all, they are like birds out of a cage, prisoners out of jail, students out of the exam hall; they going to paint the town red.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
YN bought a lawn mower
seriously i dun know why people would wanna go such a distance to make themselves more beautiful... like hello accept who u are already.
no one really care how you look like as long as you are YOU. i think its the attitudes and character that defines oneself. i admit that superficial beauty plays an important role in creating a good self impression but thats it!! its the way u treat others that differentiate the i-wanna-know-more-about-you meetings form the fortuitous bumps.
take YiNing on the left ----> *tagboard*
who bought a epilator
*omfg she bought a freaking epilator, everyone heard that? AN EPILATOR*
well frankly i've always thought that an epilator was a shaver developed specially to suit the contours of the legs. but hell was i naive.
An epilator is an electrical device used to remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs simultaneously and pulling them out. (from wiki)
an analogy to describe this :
imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawn
ignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.
anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!
all for a nicer lawn i guess.
anyway my point is not that we should laugh at her legs when we walk by but rather is there a need to succumb to such torture?
i seriously dont care if yn doesnt pluck her pits *erms, do u pluck coz i am randomly pointing stuff out* or shave her butt cause i like her for who she is *winks*. no offence but her legs differentiate her from the other boobless airheads * NOT POINTING ANY FINGERS* and i appreciate that alot :)( i guessed i never said it before)
food for thought: do you have legs like a lawn (sorry i really have to ask that)
disclaimer:
1. this is in no way a peace declaration with TEO Yi NING of ic no. S(idunnowat)Z's legs. i will continue to flame her legs till eternity but out of respect of course (do they even go together?)
2. i am sincerely sorry if any of the above offends you in anyway XD. i seriously hope you will understand what i am trying to convey here.
3. for extra materials refer to the book " The Lipstick Proviso " by Karen Lehrman
4 pls pardon the typo errors and poor grammar cause i did not have time to check
no one really care how you look like as long as you are YOU. i think its the attitudes and character that defines oneself. i admit that superficial beauty plays an important role in creating a good self impression but thats it!! its the way u treat others that differentiate the i-wanna-know-more-about-you meetings form the fortuitous bumps.
take YiNing on the left ----> *tagboard*
who bought a epilator
*omfg she bought a freaking epilator, everyone heard that? AN EPILATOR*
well frankly i've always thought that an epilator was a shaver developed specially to suit the contours of the legs. but hell was i naive.
An epilator is an electrical device used to remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs simultaneously and pulling them out. (from wiki)
an analogy to describe this :
imagine that you have yn's legs... i know its hard to imagine so picture ur leg as a huge lawn
ignore the trees behind. no even better imagine them as strands of hair that happen to be very thick.
anyway imagine an epilator as a huge machine that PLUCKS the grass out of ur lawn OUCH!!
all for a nicer lawn i guess.
anyway my point is not that we should laugh at her legs when we walk by but rather is there a need to succumb to such torture?
i seriously dont care if yn doesnt pluck her pits *erms, do u pluck coz i am randomly pointing stuff out* or shave her butt cause i like her for who she is *winks*. no offence but her legs differentiate her from the other boobless airheads * NOT POINTING ANY FINGERS* and i appreciate that alot :)( i guessed i never said it before)
food for thought: do you have legs like a lawn (sorry i really have to ask that)
disclaimer:
1. this is in no way a peace declaration with TEO Yi NING of ic no. S(idunnowat)Z's legs. i will continue to flame her legs till eternity but out of respect of course (do they even go together?)
2. i am sincerely sorry if any of the above offends you in anyway XD. i seriously hope you will understand what i am trying to convey here.
3. for extra materials refer to the book " The Lipstick Proviso " by Karen Lehrman
4 pls pardon the typo errors and poor grammar cause i did not have time to check
Sunday, September 21, 2008
hairy + other random issues
damn i hate long hair especially long fringes. seriously i really dont know how the girls do it *drifts off to think about yi ning's fashion disaster a year back*
Thats why i've decided to go get myself a hairband to keep my fringe out of my bloody face from chameleon.
that was when i found out i looked really cute ... ... ...
omg i juｓｔ want to dump my girlfriend *no offence* (oh btw do u know that the word "offence" is a Ｂritish word NOT ＡＭＥＲＩＣＡＮ） and marry that cutie in the mirror.
dammit i am just too cute... ... maybe i should just keep my hair long from now on.
this is a totally narcissistic post. i am sorry but u have just wasted your few second which you could have used to mug or to pay ur phone bills or check your email. but once again i really would like to say thank you for reading this post cause i really enjoyed typing anecdotes of my crappy life and i have no idea that people like to read crappy stories about me, myself and I. On a side note, i think i am really cute with the hairband -i even stared at myself smiling for like a minute or so with the band in my hair at the chameleon-. and oh i so do not have ADD. it stands for Attention-Deficit Disorder, a development disorder that impairs one's ability to sustain focus (copied form refernce.com). actually that was completely random but sometimes i doubt myself you see so that was some form of self-affirmation. anyway i hope you enjoy reading my post(s) (refering to this post and those before) and please continue to support my blog. Ciao (Originally from the Venetian language, it was adopted by Italian and eventually entered the vocabulary of English and of many other languages around the world. In the Spanish-speaking world, it is spelled "chao"-pronounced like "chao" in "chaota" (charred in hokkien). The word is mostly used as "goodbye" in Spanish and English, but in modern Italian and in other languages it may mean "hello", "goodbye", or both. )
Thats why i've decided to go get myself a hairband to keep my fringe out of my bloody face from chameleon.
that was when i found out i looked really cute ... ... ...
omg i juｓｔ want to dump my girlfriend *no offence* (oh btw do u know that the word "offence" is a Ｂritish word NOT ＡＭＥＲＩＣＡＮ） and marry that cutie in the mirror.
dammit i am just too cute... ... maybe i should just keep my hair long from now on.
this is a totally narcissistic post. i am sorry but u have just wasted your few second which you could have used to mug or to pay ur phone bills or check your email. but once again i really would like to say thank you for reading this post cause i really enjoyed typing anecdotes of my crappy life and i have no idea that people like to read crappy stories about me, myself and I. On a side note, i think i am really cute with the hairband -i even stared at myself smiling for like a minute or so with the band in my hair at the chameleon-. and oh i so do not have ADD. it stands for Attention-Deficit Disorder, a development disorder that impairs one's ability to sustain focus (copied form refernce.com). actually that was completely random but sometimes i doubt myself you see so that was some form of self-affirmation. anyway i hope you enjoy reading my post(s) (refering to this post and those before) and please continue to support my blog. Ciao (Originally from the Venetian language, it was adopted by Italian and eventually entered the vocabulary of English and of many other languages around the world. In the Spanish-speaking world, it is spelled "chao"-pronounced like "chao" in "chaota" (charred in hokkien). The word is mostly used as "goodbye" in Spanish and English, but in modern Italian and in other languages it may mean "hello", "goodbye", or both. )
My bath time concert hall
this morning i took a bath as usual and here's what i did:
1. threw my clothes on the rack
2. rubbed my eyes
3. took off my clothes (stop fantazing)
4. stared at my ass...
5. thought: hey there aint much meat down there
6. think's of eileen's ass
7. stepped into the shower
8. soaped my body while crooning to Behind These Hazel Eyes by WONG KEN YAN
9. heard the door bell ring
well the most logical thing was to drop whatever i was doing (and my mic - the shower head) put on some clothes and run to get the door without my underwear.
hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"
"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."
10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore
"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes.
then she just trotted off arrogantly.
actually she just walked off normally but i was really pissed with her and so i went on sing my next song : How to save a life by The Fray ft WONG KEＮ YAN
1. threw my clothes on the rack
2. rubbed my eyes
3. took off my clothes (stop fantazing)
4. stared at my ass...
5. thought: hey there aint much meat down there
6. think's of eileen's ass
7. stepped into the shower
8. soaped my body while crooning to Behind These Hazel Eyes by WONG KEN YAN
9. heard the door bell ring
well the most logical thing was to drop whatever i was doing (and my mic - the shower head) put on some clothes and run to get the door without my underwear.
hey it was my irritating neighbor from above. she was like "你的姐姐在吗?"
and i was like "huh"
"刚才你的姐姐唱歌唱得很大声把我都吵行了."
10. thought: what a bitch how dare u insult my voice u whore
"orh. 我会跟她讲的. 对不起." i said with my hair dripping soapy water in my wet and crumpled clothes.
then she just trotted off arrogantly.
actually she just walked off normally but i was really pissed with her and so i went on sing my next song : How to save a life by The Fray ft WONG KEＮ YAN
Sunday, September 14, 2008
English acccent
oh anyway there was this new econs teacher who speaks in her high pitched voice coupled with her heavy accent.
dam irritating. i swear if i had not seen her face i would have thought she had big boobs and no brains aka bimbo.
in an attempt to be as irritating as her, allicia and wat-her-name-was-again ahh zhi xin decided to speak in that accent argh.
kinda reminds me of GO6... the way we irritate each other...... eg. insult eil for having huge bonbons, yn for her hairy legs, jeromy for...wat does he have a again...oh man boobs, stefanie for his like-the-surface-on-mars face and chicken-in-the-slaughterhouse voice and clare for her flappy ears nad terrible singing and finally me for beiong such a nioce person...... eh no link.
god i miss them
dam irritating. i swear if i had not seen her face i would have thought she had big boobs and no brains aka bimbo.
in an attempt to be as irritating as her, allicia and wat-her-name-was-again ahh zhi xin decided to speak in that accent argh.
kinda reminds me of GO6... the way we irritate each other...... eg. insult eil for having huge bonbons, yn for her hairy legs, jeromy for...wat does he have a again...oh man boobs, stefanie for his like-the-surface-on-mars face and chicken-in-the-slaughterhouse voice and clare for her flappy ears nad terrible singing and finally me for beiong such a nioce person...... eh no link.
god i miss them
Asia shows
haiz it has been months since i watched an asian-chinese shows cause apparently they think everyone knows chinese well enough to comprehend what the actors are saying ie, they refuse to add english subtitles to the shows..... damn u asian directors.
well they last asian show i watch was Hana Kimi... 3 freakin months ago.
anyway i just watched one show called Young Warriors of The Yang Clan and omfg they had anglish subtitles.
that show is really nice yea noe. its a little bout patriotism and treachery but most about the hot girls in their cast exp princess chai, ms luo and du jing e.
its really touching go watch if you have not. drop ur books get on the comp and watch dammit
well they last asian show i watch was Hana Kimi... 3 freakin months ago.
anyway i just watched one show called Young Warriors of The Yang Clan and omfg they had anglish subtitles.
that show is really nice yea noe. its a little bout patriotism and treachery but most about the hot girls in their cast exp princess chai, ms luo and du jing e.
its really touching go watch if you have not. drop ur books get on the comp and watch dammit
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Captain of the ship
oh yea i was elected captain.
muahaha i am gonna take over the cca and force you guys to stretch like me, till your legs fall out and your arms hang limp.
i am one step closer to world domination....
muahaha i am gonna take over the cca and force you guys to stretch like me, till your legs fall out and your arms hang limp.
i am one step closer to world domination....
The Underwear Monsters Strikes Again
reported by Wong Ken Yan
There have been a rise in attacks of students in National Junior College by a group of bandits who students call as "the underwear monsters".
according to the accounts of victims and their friends, the gang of bandits consists of an irregular number of members. however, they have identified 3 of the bandits: Nicholas Goh, Clayton Chiew and Timothy Koh, all of whom (either by coincidence or not) belong to the college's swim team, who were at the scene of the attacks
these attacks seem to originate from these bandits' fetish for worn briefs as the victims have all recollected that their had their briefs torn forcefully out from their pants. One of the victims commented "it was so painful at that time and it left an indention" as he pointed at the area around his lower thigh."they cornered me in the toilet, laughing as they reached into my pants." said another victim who had just celebrated his birthday on the 22nd of july. some of the bandits held on to the victims' limbs while the others worked on the underwear and took pictures in a morbid frenzy. the victims were also left to cry from the humiliation in the toilet after the attack. despite the screams and shouts for help by the victims, no one offered to help. "we were afraid that we might become the next victim" said an onlooker.
According to the analysis of the attack patterns, these attack happen on 1 to 2 days before or after the victims' birthday. they occur in the toilets when the targeted victim is alone and most vulnerable.
teachers have been investigating this matter but to no avail. the bandits are now on the run but the attacks have not stopped.
the school urged the boys to be wary of entering the toilet alone and encouraged students to bring an extra pair of briefs for precaution.
students who have information on the attacks are to report to the teachers.
anyone caught harboring or aiding the bandits in any way is committing a grave mistake and will be dealt with harshly.
There have been a rise in attacks of students in National Junior College by a group of bandits who students call as "the underwear monsters".
according to the accounts of victims and their friends, the gang of bandits consists of an irregular number of members. however, they have identified 3 of the bandits: Nicholas Goh, Clayton Chiew and Timothy Koh, all of whom (either by coincidence or not) belong to the college's swim team, who were at the scene of the attacks
these attacks seem to originate from these bandits' fetish for worn briefs as the victims have all recollected that their had their briefs torn forcefully out from their pants. One of the victims commented "it was so painful at that time and it left an indention" as he pointed at the area around his lower thigh."they cornered me in the toilet, laughing as they reached into my pants." said another victim who had just celebrated his birthday on the 22nd of july. some of the bandits held on to the victims' limbs while the others worked on the underwear and took pictures in a morbid frenzy. the victims were also left to cry from the humiliation in the toilet after the attack. despite the screams and shouts for help by the victims, no one offered to help. "we were afraid that we might become the next victim" said an onlooker.
According to the analysis of the attack patterns, these attack happen on 1 to 2 days before or after the victims' birthday. they occur in the toilets when the targeted victim is alone and most vulnerable.
teachers have been investigating this matter but to no avail. the bandits are now on the run but the attacks have not stopped.
the school urged the boys to be wary of entering the toilet alone and encouraged students to bring an extra pair of briefs for precaution.
students who have information on the attacks are to report to the teachers.
anyone caught harboring or aiding the bandits in any way is committing a grave mistake and will be dealt with harshly.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Its really nice
its is really nice when your friends insist on celebrating your birthday when you tell them not to.
it is really nice when your friends try their very best to find out your birthday no matter how many fake dates you tell them.
its really nice when people pass a card around during lessons to write on - to tell you to get fatter.
its really nice when someone sends you a duffel bag from Miami.
its really nice to share 6 scoops of ice-cream with 5 other people.
its really nice to have friends who will spend the hours to design a card for you.
its really nice to not call people "bitch" or "slut" on your birthday
its really nice to reduce the usage of the word "fuck" to a mere 5 times just because its your birthday.
its really nice to walk your friend out to the gate, under the unforgiving sun, on your birthday
its really nice to stay up until 9 in school for installation ceremony to move tables, chairs and a rostrum
its really nice to shake Mrs Poon's (VP) on your birthday.
its really nice to receive a present from your usually unbearable brother.
it is really nice when your friends try their very best to find out your birthday no matter how many fake dates you tell them.
its really nice when people pass a card around during lessons to write on - to tell you to get fatter.
its really nice when someone sends you a duffel bag from Miami.
its really nice to share 6 scoops of ice-cream with 5 other people.
its really nice to have friends who will spend the hours to design a card for you.
its really nice to not call people "bitch" or "slut" on your birthday
its really nice to reduce the usage of the word "fuck" to a mere 5 times just because its your birthday.
its really nice to walk your friend out to the gate, under the unforgiving sun, on your birthday
its really nice to stay up until 9 in school for installation ceremony to move tables, chairs and a rostrum
its really nice to shake Mrs Poon's (VP) on your birthday.
its really nice to receive a present from your usually unbearable brother.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
dont-need-sex-to-live movement
in view of the rising numbers of HIV infected victims - victims of sex, i have decided to restart one of my failed self-initiated movement : the dont-need-sex-to-live movement.
this movement aims to rid people of the the mindset that the world is all about sex, as brought across by American TV such as desperate housewives, dirt, dirty sexy money, simple life (and we all know why).
sex by nature, is an activity performed by living sentient beings to express their love for another regardless of gender. however this intent has been corrupted by financial and social factors of life, hence the birth of the sex industry (inclusive of sexual entertainment, prostitution etc).
the movement operates by teaching participants on the truth and lies of sex, not to request them to abstain from it. sex should be encouraged if the intent of it is not to attain monetary gains or any form of social/financial advantage to either party during or after the intercourse. in other words, if the intent is to purely express one's love for another and is justified, sex should be encouraged.
the current committee will consist of the people as stated below:
Chairman: Wong Ken Yan
Vice Chairwomen: Teo Yi Ning
Secretary: Jeromy Tan
Treasurer: Eileen Yeo
Internal Relations Manager: Stefan Tan
External Relations Manager: Clare Siow
interested applicants are to contact wong ken yan at ultima_ken@hotmail.com.
newcomers are welcomed at any time.
ps: this is not a pilot test for my project work
this movement aims to rid people of the the mindset that the world is all about sex, as brought across by American TV such as desperate housewives, dirt, dirty sexy money, simple life (and we all know why).
sex by nature, is an activity performed by living sentient beings to express their love for another regardless of gender. however this intent has been corrupted by financial and social factors of life, hence the birth of the sex industry (inclusive of sexual entertainment, prostitution etc).
the movement operates by teaching participants on the truth and lies of sex, not to request them to abstain from it. sex should be encouraged if the intent of it is not to attain monetary gains or any form of social/financial advantage to either party during or after the intercourse. in other words, if the intent is to purely express one's love for another and is justified, sex should be encouraged.
the current committee will consist of the people as stated below:
Chairman: Wong Ken Yan
Vice Chairwomen: Teo Yi Ning
Secretary: Jeromy Tan
Treasurer: Eileen Yeo
Internal Relations Manager: Stefan Tan
External Relations Manager: Clare Siow
interested applicants are to contact wong ken yan at ultima_ken@hotmail.com.
newcomers are welcomed at any time.
ps: this is not a pilot test for my project work
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Brothers from another mother
its really starting to piss me off...
today it was the 1st time spoke to Mr Teo Tze Wei. the first thing he said to me was "you arent local. are you?" and that was the last straw that broke the camel's back (omg i used and idiom). the straw before this came from Ms chua who asked the same thing yet more crudely and accusingly " Are you sure you are local?" (that was during my H3 research interview and she made me look as though i faked my particulars)
sometimes i think people can really be too judgmental. how can they determine one's locality by how one speaks? i have friends that speak english like the british do but they are still Singaporeans.
so what if people are not local? should there be a difference in the way we view them? why is there a need to distinguish people from foreign lands? should they not be given the same chance to prove their worth?
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - Shakespeare - Merchant of Venice.
aint that all so true? arent they all the same? humans after all-sharing the same emotions. why is there a need to distinguish?
today it was the 1st time spoke to Mr Teo Tze Wei. the first thing he said to me was "you arent local. are you?" and that was the last straw that broke the camel's back (omg i used and idiom). the straw before this came from Ms chua who asked the same thing yet more crudely and accusingly " Are you sure you are local?" (that was during my H3 research interview and she made me look as though i faked my particulars)
sometimes i think people can really be too judgmental. how can they determine one's locality by how one speaks? i have friends that speak english like the british do but they are still Singaporeans.
so what if people are not local? should there be a difference in the way we view them? why is there a need to distinguish people from foreign lands? should they not be given the same chance to prove their worth?
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?" - Shakespeare - Merchant of Venice.
aint that all so true? arent they all the same? humans after all-sharing the same emotions. why is there a need to distinguish?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
HOT
2 people fucking piss me off in NJ
now that i am back in school, days of torment commence.
ok let me introduce these 2 assholes:
bitchy whore 1 (BW1)
irritating whore who keeps thinking that she (omg did i say 'SHE"?) is the all-mighty-bitch. commands people around and insists that what every she says is right. right ur fuck la.
Bitchy whore 2 (BW2)
she is the apprentice of BW1. takes on all characteristics of BW1 except she is more self centered.
argh.
why must there be so many bitches all around? i guess god made bitches *points to vany, BW1, BW2, SBW* to offset the cute angels *points to myself*.
BW (both) really piss me off like shit with their queen-of-the-world attitude. one day, i will make sure i hang them up on the raintree in nj and pour honey all over their bodies. then, i wil watch as the ants eat their flesh up muahahaha
disclaimer: the names given to the above 2 bitches are fictitious. Any similarities is purely coincidental.
now that i am back in school, days of torment commence.
ok let me introduce these 2 assholes:
bitchy whore 1 (BW1)
irritating whore who keeps thinking that she (omg did i say 'SHE"?) is the all-mighty-bitch. commands people around and insists that what every she says is right. right ur fuck la.
Bitchy whore 2 (BW2)
she is the apprentice of BW1. takes on all characteristics of BW1 except she is more self centered.
argh.
why must there be so many bitches all around? i guess god made bitches *points to vany, BW1, BW2, SBW* to offset the cute angels *points to myself*.
BW (both) really piss me off like shit with their queen-of-the-world attitude. one day, i will make sure i hang them up on the raintree in nj and pour honey all over their bodies. then, i wil watch as the ants eat their flesh up muahahaha
disclaimer: the names given to the above 2 bitches are fictitious. Any similarities is purely coincidental.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
21 confessions of a teenage drama king
oh man i realise i like to hide who i really am ( dirty horny bastard) when i meet people.
i would like to apologise to my swim team for being so FAKE. i think i am shy thats why i hid my real personality.
confessions:
1. i am not a goody-two-shoe like many have naively presumed.
2. that ac gal i met at the pool aint my gf (Vanessa thats you i am referring to here)
3. i have never intended to compete in swimming
4. i am attatched (to my attatchment-ahahaha wat a funny joke, attatched to an attatchment do u geddit?)
5. i lied about my weight. i am not 51kg (pss i am 49 but dun tell)
6. i changed my number to 91069182
7. i blogged only when i have something to tell
8. i like to listen to Chinese songs once in a while
9. i was forced to go for social, verbal, dining etiquette courses when i was young and yet i am still to uncouth
10. i hate mugging (i mean who does?)
11. i ate a cockroach when i was young and hence my extreme phobia of cockroaches now
12. i sticked my used oil-blotting paper into my brother's history textbook to bookmark the page.
13. i sing and dance in my study room
14. i talk to myself in bed (not to make my life on bed more exciting-if you know what i mean)
15. i hear voices in my head when there are no distractions (2 voices actually)
16. i sing to my bedbugs at night
17. i used to be very violent in primary school (ahh those were the days)
18. i have many suitors of all ages ranging from 4(darling phoebe) to 50 plus
19. i have been stalked a few times... by uncles. twice at the swimming pool. once, a young man tried to hold my hand deliberately.
20. i like older women, those of ages 50-70. the older the sexier.
21. i have not confessed everything.
i would like to apologise to my swim team for being so FAKE. i think i am shy thats why i hid my real personality.
confessions:
1. i am not a goody-two-shoe like many have naively presumed.
2. that ac gal i met at the pool aint my gf (Vanessa thats you i am referring to here)
3. i have never intended to compete in swimming
4. i am attatched (to my attatchment-ahahaha wat a funny joke, attatched to an attatchment do u geddit?)
5. i lied about my weight. i am not 51kg (pss i am 49 but dun tell)
6. i changed my number to 91069182
7. i blogged only when i have something to tell
8. i like to listen to Chinese songs once in a while
9. i was forced to go for social, verbal, dining etiquette courses when i was young and yet i am still to uncouth
10. i hate mugging (i mean who does?)
11. i ate a cockroach when i was young and hence my extreme phobia of cockroaches now
12. i sticked my used oil-blotting paper into my brother's history textbook to bookmark the page.
13. i sing and dance in my study room
14. i talk to myself in bed (not to make my life on bed more exciting-if you know what i mean)
15. i hear voices in my head when there are no distractions (2 voices actually)
16. i sing to my bedbugs at night
17. i used to be very violent in primary school (ahh those were the days)
18. i have many suitors of all ages ranging from 4(darling phoebe) to 50 plus
19. i have been stalked a few times... by uncles. twice at the swimming pool. once, a young man tried to hold my hand deliberately.
20. i like older women, those of ages 50-70. the older the sexier.
21. i have not confessed everything.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
stupid keyboard stupid me
my freaking key board went crazy and refused to let my type letters for the whole holiday! number appeared instead of letters so my words became like from "fuck" to "f4c2". its like some form of censorship or smth argh.
but after a month, i just found out the real problem: my keys were numlocked.
bleh stupid laptop....stupid...stupid me....stupid
argh i cant believe i am so brainless argh.... f4c2 me.
oh anyway i have finally found out they way to upgrade ur gc!!!
go to this webbie
download the ti-connect and install it.
connect ur gc to ur comp with the cable then go here
download the file then drag the file into the icon and presto! ur gc shld have this "receiving operating system" thing
there you go. you can be your own computer geek!! who says computer geeks have spot a pair of thick glasses, poor skin and flat hair? they can have perfect looks like mine!
but after a month, i just found out the real problem: my keys were numlocked.
bleh stupid laptop....stupid...stupid me....stupid
argh i cant believe i am so brainless argh.... f4c2 me.
oh anyway i have finally found out they way to upgrade ur gc!!!
go to this webbie
download the ti-connect and install it.
connect ur gc to ur comp with the cable then go here
download the file then drag the file into the icon and presto! ur gc shld have this "receiving operating system" thing
there you go. you can be your own computer geek!! who says computer geeks have spot a pair of thick glasses, poor skin and flat hair? they can have perfect looks like mine!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
5 things you do during lectures
here are 5 things you can do while you are in a lecture:
1.pretend to drop a pen onto the floor then take the chance to pluck your neighbour's leg hair.
for this to work make sure you are sitting beside some hairy beasty guy and i dont really want to mention names but hint: JER_MY or Y_NING (shes not a guy btw). be sure to listen for the high pitch scream and watch out for the volley of punches
2.Dig your nose and flick your dirt onto someone else (1 3 5)
nothing beats the sheer pleasure and sense of accomplishment when you relieve yourself of the sticky ball of dirt. and what better way to get rid of it then to flick it high up in the air and watch it fall onto someone's head? if you can calculate the projectile motion accurately together with the velocity at which the ball flies, you might just make it land on you lecturer's head! if its the really sticky kind, fret not, just ACT as though you brushed against your neighbor's shoulder then swiftly clean your fingers on him. as recommended by someone in ACJC, the best way to remember this is 1 3 5. just do the hand actions for numbers 1 3 5 and you will get it.
3.draw MR monster
heres my mr monster. when its hot draw some bikinis, when its cold draw some blankets. mr monster is going to be your good friend from now on. when its lonely, draw some friends. talk to mr monster everyday. you affection will make mr monster grow and one day it will become your invisible friend. congratulations, you are now a social psychopath.
4.watch SBW sleep
if you really want pure entertainment, then look over at SBW's table and watch the way she sleeps during lectures. she is well known to sleep like a beauty and furthermore, many positions available too. if you really lucky, you can catch her lying like a pig with all her trotters spread out on the table and best of all, with her mouth OPEN!!! such form of unglamness is certainly unbeatable. want to make life even more exciting? you can compete with her to see who can come out with the top unglam sleeping position within the confinements of your seat. i have tried and the best i could come up with is slumping on the chair, head yanked back, mouth open and SNORE.
5.irritate your table mate
this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face. some suggestions:
"i think i am the cutest person on earth."
"do you think i will die a virgin?"
"i think my boobs are HUMONGOUS today." (have not and will never have the chance to try)
"i think i want to be a gigolo in the future." (i try this all the time)
"i think vany leong is the sluttiest whore on earth!"
"is there any veggie stuck on my braces?"
the list goes on and on and on after all, randomness never runs dry.
1.pretend to drop a pen onto the floor then take the chance to pluck your neighbour's leg hair.
for this to work make sure you are sitting beside some hairy beasty guy and i dont really want to mention names but hint: JER_MY or Y_NING (shes not a guy btw). be sure to listen for the high pitch scream and watch out for the volley of punches
2.Dig your nose and flick your dirt onto someone else (1 3 5)
nothing beats the sheer pleasure and sense of accomplishment when you relieve yourself of the sticky ball of dirt. and what better way to get rid of it then to flick it high up in the air and watch it fall onto someone's head? if you can calculate the projectile motion accurately together with the velocity at which the ball flies, you might just make it land on you lecturer's head! if its the really sticky kind, fret not, just ACT as though you brushed against your neighbor's shoulder then swiftly clean your fingers on him. as recommended by someone in ACJC, the best way to remember this is 1 3 5. just do the hand actions for numbers 1 3 5 and you will get it.
3.draw MR monster
heres my mr monster. when its hot draw some bikinis, when its cold draw some blankets. mr monster is going to be your good friend from now on. when its lonely, draw some friends. talk to mr monster everyday. you affection will make mr monster grow and one day it will become your invisible friend. congratulations, you are now a social psychopath.
4.watch SBW sleep
if you really want pure entertainment, then look over at SBW's table and watch the way she sleeps during lectures. she is well known to sleep like a beauty and furthermore, many positions available too. if you really lucky, you can catch her lying like a pig with all her trotters spread out on the table and best of all, with her mouth OPEN!!! such form of unglamness is certainly unbeatable. want to make life even more exciting? you can compete with her to see who can come out with the top unglam sleeping position within the confinements of your seat. i have tried and the best i could come up with is slumping on the chair, head yanked back, mouth open and SNORE.
5.irritate your table mate
this is probably the most fun you will ever have during lectures. just turn to your table/chair mate and tell him/her something random stuff eg. i turned to Yang Zhi and told him that i like him and he gave me the priceless i-am-so-sick-of-you face. some suggestions:
"i think i am the cutest person on earth."
"do you think i will die a virgin?"
"i think my boobs are HUMONGOUS today." (have not and will never have the chance to try)
"i think i want to be a gigolo in the future." (i try this all the time)
"i think vany leong is the sluttiest whore on earth!"
"is there any veggie stuck on my braces?"
the list goes on and on and on after all, randomness never runs dry.
apocalypse
the end of the world is near...
when all skyscrapers collapse
when all the islands flood
when all the land goes arid
when all the mountains crumble
when all the volcanoes erupt
when all the trees fall
when all the animals perish
but i will be standing here, waiting for you
no matter what
no matter...
when all skyscrapers collapse
when all the islands flood
when all the land goes arid
when all the mountains crumble
when all the volcanoes erupt
when all the trees fall
when all the animals perish
but i will be standing here, waiting for you
no matter what
no matter...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
fantasies
well you see when you swim for hours, your mind will drift off to lalaland. here are the many things i think of while swimming, ranging from hot steamy carrot cakes (not sex scenes unfortunately) to taking over the world.
thought 1 : fried carrot cake (the black ones esp)
i swim from 7-9pm occasionally and that is usually right smack during my dinner time. and so my mind will occasionally drift off to my prospective dinner. sometimes i will imagine my coach (who is horizontally developed) seducing me with a HOT AND STEAMING plate of sexy carrot cake pieces coated in black sauce. this is my spinach to swim faster but then much to my dismay, all of that is a mirage except for the fact that my coach is still big.
thought 2 : dancing papaya slices
actually i dont even know how that came about but yea, dancing papaya.
thought 3 : SBW
yea i think of her in all sorts of compromising positions.
thought 4 : vany with an alfro
dont you just love technology?
thought 5 : taking over the world
who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all. first i will have to seduce all the top ministers of the UN into letting me take over which is not very hard cause i will only have to sleep with them wahahaha (now you see why it is feasible?). the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago
thought 1 : fried carrot cake (the black ones esp)
i swim from 7-9pm occasionally and that is usually right smack during my dinner time. and so my mind will occasionally drift off to my prospective dinner. sometimes i will imagine my coach (who is horizontally developed) seducing me with a HOT AND STEAMING plate of sexy carrot cake pieces coated in black sauce. this is my spinach to swim faster but then much to my dismay, all of that is a mirage except for the fact that my coach is still big.
thought 2 : dancing papaya slices
actually i dont even know how that came about but yea, dancing papaya.
thought 3 : SBW
yea i think of her in all sorts of compromising positions.
thought 4 : vany with an alfro
dont you just love technology?
thought 5 : taking over the world
who said taking over the world is too cliche? i think its the most feasible wish of all. first i will have to seduce all the top ministers of the UN into letting me take over which is not very hard cause i will only have to sleep with them wahahaha (now you see why it is feasible?). the first on the agenda when i am in UN is to make KENYA a sex paradise. i will chain all the rich and beautiful women and send them to kenya, and i , of course will ascend the throne as the king of KENYA with pretty girls at my service. next i will install the new cabinet of ministers:
minister of hot and sexy babes, EVA LONGORIA
minister of health and obesity, JEROMY TAN
minister of flatties, EILEEN YEO, TEO YINING, CLARE SIOW
minister of slutty bitch whores, VANY LEONG and SBW
minister of finance, i dun really care who
minister of education, VIRGINIA CHENG
minister of defense, yeo ziyi
minister of poverty and dirt, ZHI XIN and shandy
with this i bring world peace.
reality check: if seducing the ministers were to be so easy, vany leong would have done that eons ago
Sunday, April 20, 2008
as busy as a bumble bee
omg every day i am busy busy busy busy..... swimming everyday, occasionally interact, 3tests next week, sometimes i am still amazed that i am still loving my life. heh. ok theres nothing much to talk about coz i have to go mug for up coming maths, gp, econs tests... i really wished that lord would send me a hot babe from heaven for me to feast my eyes on - the perfect stress relief
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL BOUT SLUT HERE!
ok theres this slut in this certain school... i shall not name who or her fan club might come after me with parangs and fruit knives. lets just call her slutty bitchy whore (SBW) for convenience. (side note: apparently, we are not to type offensive stuff on out blogs or we will be held responsible so here i am risking my life as a aspiring tabloid journalist).
anyway as i was saying, i dont like SBW cause i dont like her face ( cause it says "you can slap me anytime) thats all actually but apparently, others have more to say about her. back to the point, a few months ago, i saw her dancing and omg she was so hot, i could swear i was sweating in my pants. truthfully it sux ( not that i am saying that i can dance better than her) cause she practically have to move every single cell on her body (that is probably her definition of dance). if you have ever heard of the phrase "throw yourself off the stage"(means enjoy yourself on stage), she would have been the perfect illustration of the literal meaning. she was shaking her booties at the guys down the stage actually. and apparently my sources corroborate that she think that she can dance better than this other dancer (real dancer). till now, i get shivers when i think of that strip-club-like scene.
and also from what i heard, she LOVES to share drinks with other guys, and in fact SHE FEEDS THEM HER DRINKS. she does that not only to one but MANY MANY MANY GUYS. shes like a cow (its really dirty so if u dun get it, its okay)
oh and then at the AC FUN O RAMMA she was flirting with this guy who was my acquaintance and who she doesnt NOE AT ALL omg. she tagged along with him for the whole day argh. poor guy.
today i saw SBW flirting with this guy for whole of break (20mins)and of all places, beside 3 bins.
SBW slut counter.... 99/100 (100/100 belongs to vany leong)
anyway as i was saying, i dont like SBW cause i dont like her face ( cause it says "you can slap me anytime) thats all actually but apparently, others have more to say about her. back to the point, a few months ago, i saw her dancing and omg she was so hot, i could swear i was sweating in my pants. truthfully it sux ( not that i am saying that i can dance better than her) cause she practically have to move every single cell on her body (that is probably her definition of dance). if you have ever heard of the phrase "throw yourself off the stage"(means enjoy yourself on stage), she would have been the perfect illustration of the literal meaning. she was shaking her booties at the guys down the stage actually. and apparently my sources corroborate that she think that she can dance better than this other dancer (real dancer). till now, i get shivers when i think of that strip-club-like scene.
and also from what i heard, she LOVES to share drinks with other guys, and in fact SHE FEEDS THEM HER DRINKS. she does that not only to one but MANY MANY MANY GUYS. shes like a cow (its really dirty so if u dun get it, its okay)
oh and then at the AC FUN O RAMMA she was flirting with this guy who was my acquaintance and who she doesnt NOE AT ALL omg. she tagged along with him for the whole day argh. poor guy.
today i saw SBW flirting with this guy for whole of break (20mins)and of all places, beside 3 bins.
SBW slut counter.... 99/100 (100/100 belongs to vany leong)
denial
i refuse to sing the school anthem not because i don't know how to, but because i don't want to cause its like admitting that NJ is my school. till yesterday, i was still experiencing the culture shock but now i am beginning to accept NJ, not the school but the people. i am not sure when i will start to like the school itself. sometimes i laugh at myself for being so dreamy all the time. its time i really perish the RJ and AC dreams. its time i sing the school song which i did today, for the first time.
probably denial was the cause of my stress. my mind is in the garden of eden while my body is in NJ (contrary to popular belief in NJ, NJ is NOT a garden of eden).
truthfully, NJ is tantamount to a prison. with all the manacles and chains tugging at me, i cannot open up. i cant really blame my teacher for remarking that i am too reserved and urbane for my own good cause that is what i appear to be.
probably denial was the cause of my stress. my mind is in the garden of eden while my body is in NJ (contrary to popular belief in NJ, NJ is NOT a garden of eden).
truthfully, NJ is tantamount to a prison. with all the manacles and chains tugging at me, i cannot open up. i cant really blame my teacher for remarking that i am too reserved and urbane for my own good cause that is what i appear to be.
Stress
stress sux. Make me so temperamental all the time. oh yea theres this bonus that comes along with it.....migraines. argh i popped like 5 panadol tablets last week and almost 1 every morning cause i felt this friggin screw digging into my head. soem times i really want to collapse to the ground and curl up into a ball and scream "fuck you brain" but then again it will never work. oh there is this funny thing. whenever i look or update my organiser, my brains will fry.
but then again, stress makes one wonderfully tired as Petra would say(nostalgic huh). if only i can be a lizard (from doc stockmann) once in a while....
but then again, stress makes one wonderfully tired as Petra would say(nostalgic huh). if only i can be a lizard (from doc stockmann) once in a while....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
the future
whenever i think about my future, i feel this hope and anticipation building up inside me. if i could, i would gladly take on the future now. in the future, i want to travel around, out of the little red dot, to many places like Italy, Spain, Miami, Florida, Australia, Greenland, Kenya,...
oo here are some prospective jobs:
1.journalist
i like writing about others, about people. you know what would be fun? i can be a tabloid journalist...paparazzi woots this is so exciting. imagine, going around the world, digging other people's DIRT.
2.disease specialist
well i really hope i can be sent out to do field studies, to less developed places like Kenya or something. that would be cool man.
3.marine biologist
oh my god this is my dream job man, to be able to ride the waves and see strange creatures etc.
4.artist
i would really like to spend my life painting and drawing. but then as much as it sounds cool, it sounds poor. i would probably take on this job later in life when i am all old and cranky.
5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist.
6.novelist
i have always wanted to write a book when i really have the time. in the past, i tried to write a novel on a motherly witch with alcoholic children, three men lost in a desert, 7 warriors slaying a silver dragon. but then i never had time to complete a book and by the time i really had time, i lost all inspiration to continue. and thats how i started projects after projects but never able to complete one. actually i did complete the book on the 3 men lost in desert but its a litte childish i admit. anyway the next book i want to write on is a love story and be sure to anticipate sex scenes.
7.actor
actually i have not really thought much about this but i think its kinda fun. after seeing how much Renee enjoyed her job and the finger players, i was really inspired to be a stage actor for theater, not that kind of low class channel 8 series.
8.dancer
if you really know me, then you will realise i will end up dancing my way to poverty.
in the future, i want to be rich, live in the suburbs, send my children to neighborhood schools, watch them grow up happily and stress-freely.
oo here are some prospective jobs:
1.journalist
i like writing about others, about people. you know what would be fun? i can be a tabloid journalist...paparazzi woots this is so exciting. imagine, going around the world, digging other people's DIRT.
2.disease specialist
well i really hope i can be sent out to do field studies, to less developed places like Kenya or something. that would be cool man.
3.marine biologist
oh my god this is my dream job man, to be able to ride the waves and see strange creatures etc.
4.artist
i would really like to spend my life painting and drawing. but then as much as it sounds cool, it sounds poor. i would probably take on this job later in life when i am all old and cranky.
5.gigolo
well this aint the typical job that i would want to take on but think about it, if i were to be filthily poor then this is probably one option i would have to consider. this job would probably go with being an artist.
6.novelist
i have always wanted to write a book when i really have the time. in the past, i tried to write a novel on a motherly witch with alcoholic children, three men lost in a desert, 7 warriors slaying a silver dragon. but then i never had time to complete a book and by the time i really had time, i lost all inspiration to continue. and thats how i started projects after projects but never able to complete one. actually i did complete the book on the 3 men lost in desert but its a litte childish i admit. anyway the next book i want to write on is a love story and be sure to anticipate sex scenes.
7.actor
actually i have not really thought much about this but i think its kinda fun. after seeing how much Renee enjoyed her job and the finger players, i was really inspired to be a stage actor for theater, not that kind of low class channel 8 series.
8.dancer
if you really know me, then you will realise i will end up dancing my way to poverty.
in the future, i want to be rich, live in the suburbs, send my children to neighborhood schools, watch them grow up happily and stress-freely.
Hindsight
well on hindsight, i can get new shoes!!
But still if i see u i will SAW OFF your ankles. YOU heard it?! SAW OFF not chop off anymore. have u seen the trilogy, SAW? yea u get the idea. that will teach you not to mess with the prince's shoes, dickhead.
But still if i see u i will SAW OFF your ankles. YOU heard it?! SAW OFF not chop off anymore. have u seen the trilogy, SAW? yea u get the idea. that will teach you not to mess with the prince's shoes, dickhead.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Shoe Thief
some fucking thief stole my DC and pumas argh fuck the hell outta them. i seriously hope the burn and get fucking raped million times. omg this aint the 1st time the shoe thief snitched my shoes and this time he knicked 2 at a go. argh fuck you man. if u ever let me see my pumas or DCs on ur feet, will make sure i chop off those fucking ankles of yours. afterall, why steal shoes when you have no feet to start with fucker. shit i am so fuckin pissed till i can storm out the door and start hunting for them this very fuckin instant. fucking thief ruined my good friday. fuckin fuckers funkin ard. fuck u
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Dead
the thing abt Nj is that everything and everyone seem dead. there isnt a fun factor in school. man . everything we do in school is for the future, for the betterment of society. what happen to 'ourselves'? what happen to 'now'?
today i saw a play by the finger players which rocks my balls off(phrase coined by me). it was perfect and really emotive. or maybe its coz i am a rather emotional person.
oh yea on a lighter note, there is this video that i want u guys to watch. Enjoy...
today i saw a play by the finger players which rocks my balls off(phrase coined by me). it was perfect and really emotive. or maybe its coz i am a rather emotional person.
oh yea on a lighter note, there is this video that i want u guys to watch. Enjoy...
Monday, March 3, 2008
Victimised
this is probably something i am gonna say ONCE in my life: I AM A VICTIM!!
apparently the scandalizor(me) was scandalised by other scandalizors(vany leong, that slut).
argh!! now there are 3 scandals making their way to everyone's ears:
1. GOH JO-LIN is my gf (by Siow WEIJIE)
gag me. this is so friggin not true, but seriously i dun really know what to say to defend myself. all i have to say is "shut the fuck up weijie" hehe.
2. i have like 10 gfs (by Vany leong)
depending on the version you have heard, i apparently slept with all 10 of them. erm yea, as enticing as it may sound, i have not slept with any one b4. i am a friggin virgin for christ sake. get it in ur head man, I AM A VIRGIN. argh. i hate it when people think of me as a slut when i am so not one.
3. I do pedicure, manicure and whatever "cures" there is (also by slutty vany leong)
eww. i bite my nails all the time lol. but if i have the money, i wld go for them, lol.
4. I am a teacher's pet (by ameline)
yeah nth much, i am a teacher's pet. kk i do agree that i often act cute and stupid but i am in no way sucking up. actually i do that only to flirt with the teachers and only if they are hot like Josephine leong (woots steamy).
i have never thought that this day might come. i, the sensationalist(to put in better terms), got scandalised by some slutty whore from ACJC. perhaps its karma. i think i shld stop gossiping and spreading rumors.
nah never gonna happen babe.
apparently the scandalizor(me) was scandalised by other scandalizors(vany leong, that slut).
argh!! now there are 3 scandals making their way to everyone's ears:
1. GOH JO-LIN is my gf (by Siow WEIJIE)
gag me. this is so friggin not true, but seriously i dun really know what to say to defend myself. all i have to say is "shut the fuck up weijie" hehe.
2. i have like 10 gfs (by Vany leong)
depending on the version you have heard, i apparently slept with all 10 of them. erm yea, as enticing as it may sound, i have not slept with any one b4. i am a friggin virgin for christ sake. get it in ur head man, I AM A VIRGIN. argh. i hate it when people think of me as a slut when i am so not one.
3. I do pedicure, manicure and whatever "cures" there is (also by slutty vany leong)
eww. i bite my nails all the time lol. but if i have the money, i wld go for them, lol.
4. I am a teacher's pet (by ameline)
yeah nth much, i am a teacher's pet. kk i do agree that i often act cute and stupid but i am in no way sucking up. actually i do that only to flirt with the teachers and only if they are hot like Josephine leong (woots steamy).
i have never thought that this day might come. i, the sensationalist(to put in better terms), got scandalised by some slutty whore from ACJC. perhaps its karma. i think i shld stop gossiping and spreading rumors.
nah never gonna happen babe.
Monday, February 25, 2008
sugar and spice
NJ is getting boring bleh.
its currently in need of some gossips to SPICE up life in that mental institute.
and so.... i and thinking of spreading some HOT JUICY GOSSIPS.
the thing is i dont really know the people in NJ so.... i think i shld start spreading rumors of some one i know in AC who also has many acquaintances in NJ.
the candidates shortlisted are....
NO1....LYNETTE (1/3 of my class peeps are frm st nicks)
NO2....VANESSA (i know a few Mg gals frm my og)
NO3....KIANYONG (i always see nan hua guys hanging around in school)
there are a few hot gossips that i am so damn tempted to spread:
1. Vany slept with a guy called jerome in ac NL1
this rumor is getting a little old but nevertheless, juicy. i think everyone from mg is DYING TO KNOW what kind of people vany sleeps with. and i quote:
vany: hello i am the slut kenyan was talking abt
vany: i love to sleep with ugly guys
2. Lynette yap seduced people into treating her to movie tickets
ooo lala. lynette is such a cheapo. i hope my class mates read this. actually this aint really a rumor but a twisted fact. yeah i think that is what it is called.
3. PKY drugged and raped his girl friend
ky that horny bastard. i think everyone is kinda numb from this kind of slutty news abt ky.
i think the gossip abt vany has the most potential to go BIG AND HOT. ok, i will spread that one tomorrow.
its currently in need of some gossips to SPICE up life in that mental institute.
and so.... i and thinking of spreading some HOT JUICY GOSSIPS.
the thing is i dont really know the people in NJ so.... i think i shld start spreading rumors of some one i know in AC who also has many acquaintances in NJ.
the candidates shortlisted are....
NO1....LYNETTE (1/3 of my class peeps are frm st nicks)
NO2....VANESSA (i know a few Mg gals frm my og)
NO3....KIANYONG (i always see nan hua guys hanging around in school)
there are a few hot gossips that i am so damn tempted to spread:
1. Vany slept with a guy called jerome in ac NL1
this rumor is getting a little old but nevertheless, juicy. i think everyone from mg is DYING TO KNOW what kind of people vany sleeps with. and i quote:
vany: hello i am the slut kenyan was talking abt
vany: i love to sleep with ugly guys
2. Lynette yap seduced people into treating her to movie tickets
ooo lala. lynette is such a cheapo. i hope my class mates read this. actually this aint really a rumor but a twisted fact. yeah i think that is what it is called.
3. PKY drugged and raped his girl friend
ky that horny bastard. i think everyone is kinda numb from this kind of slutty news abt ky.
i think the gossip abt vany has the most potential to go BIG AND HOT. ok, i will spread that one tomorrow.
first day of everything sad
today is the start of all the lectures and tutorials and that also means goodbye party animal and hello mugger.
today is also the first day i don on the NJ uniform. The shirt was friggin like a windbreaker. my body can hard breathe in them; my nipples were dying of stuffiness. but then again, my nipples dun have breathing holes.....eww...omg i cant really imgaine if they really had...nvm...
today is also the first day i got to meet my class. there is only a pathetic bunch of 5 guys in a class of 25. so many gals; its like rv all over again.
today is also my first day in ACCC(AC cultural club). apparently i am the only guy in the club. i am so glad they set up this club for the ac-sick people like ME! i really hope they organise a club outing to ACJC some day.
it think i shld really stop wallowing in self pity. its kinda irritating to hate NJ for such a long time. but the thing is that i cant find anything that makes me look forward to everyday. i think its coz of the different kinda of people here in NJ. In ac, people are crazier, more bimbotic, less pragmatic. in nj, everyone is a elite in their own field, more objective. perhaps i really belong to the school of dumbo bimbos.
today is also the first day i don on the NJ uniform. The shirt was friggin like a windbreaker. my body can hard breathe in them; my nipples were dying of stuffiness. but then again, my nipples dun have breathing holes.....eww...omg i cant really imgaine if they really had...nvm...
today is also the first day i got to meet my class. there is only a pathetic bunch of 5 guys in a class of 25. so many gals; its like rv all over again.
today is also my first day in ACCC(AC cultural club). apparently i am the only guy in the club. i am so glad they set up this club for the ac-sick people like ME! i really hope they organise a club outing to ACJC some day.
it think i shld really stop wallowing in self pity. its kinda irritating to hate NJ for such a long time. but the thing is that i cant find anything that makes me look forward to everyday. i think its coz of the different kinda of people here in NJ. In ac, people are crazier, more bimbotic, less pragmatic. in nj, everyone is a elite in their own field, more objective. perhaps i really belong to the school of dumbo bimbos.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
status report
NJC's status report(all marks are give out of a maximum of 100 marks)
facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)
the first on the agenda was the principal talk. when they introed the principal as ms VIRGINA chen(no sexual connotations here but then again, HA virgin haha), i rolled my eyes. when i saw her face, i rolled my eyes till the fell out. when she started to speak, i cldnt be bothered to roll my eyes at all. shes is like a extact photocopy of ms ek, therefore she is called superek coz she is so much like her.
anyway i missed my ac peeps like lauren and hornybastard, vanny the slut and of course lynette. omg i really missed ac, the energy, the bitchiness, the hot gals, the nice teachers, ac dance woots. once i stepped into NJ, i was really starting to hope that rj will reallyreallyreally accept my appeal man.
facilities level:85
school spirit level:70
enthu level:65
pretty gal level:negative till infinity
hot gal level:negative till infinity
slut level:big fat 0
bitch level:big fat 0
butch level:100
noob level:85
handsome guy level:1(me)
hot guy level: 1(me like duh)
the first on the agenda was the principal talk. when they introed the principal as ms VIRGINA chen(no sexual connotations here but then again, HA virgin haha), i rolled my eyes. when i saw her face, i rolled my eyes till the fell out. when she started to speak, i cldnt be bothered to roll my eyes at all. shes is like a extact photocopy of ms ek, therefore she is called superek coz she is so much like her.
anyway i missed my ac peeps like lauren and hornybastard, vanny the slut and of course lynette. omg i really missed ac, the energy, the bitchiness, the hot gals, the nice teachers, ac dance woots. once i stepped into NJ, i was really starting to hope that rj will reallyreallyreally accept my appeal man.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
if only bitches and sluts can flock together.
man today is like the last day in ac gotta bid farewell man.
said bye to every one i noe except that maths tutor, he-who-shall-not-be-named. i ponned he-who-shall-not-be-named's lecture and tut to go down to rj to appeal.
anyway the main pt is that we are splitting up and it pains my dear heart. i think i wld definately miss the ac teachers:
azlina: youthful and cool teacher
auntie tay: funny and crappy teacher
he-who-shall-not-be-named: bald teacher(sry tts all i can sae)
econs teacher(apparently i have only been to 2 of her lessons and tts not enuf for me to learn her name):naggy and naggy teacher
omg how can i like friggin leave out 1sc4. its like the coolest class and bitchiest(ky, lyn, lauren, van-i am not bitchy) and sluttiest(ky,VAN,lyn,sheryl,LYN,lauren-once again i am not slutty) and most scandalous class(VAN,Van,van,VAn,vaN,vAn,VaN,jerome-lol). i am so gonna miss so many people esp the ppl below:
Lynette Yap qianyu:
lesbian faced momma slut. used to be a punk but now decide to go momma style. i am not surprised if she comes to school witch a pram one day but not know who the father is. despite that SHE HAS 6-4=2pts people and goin to hc, ppl please burn her alive.
Lauren Tan wen qi:
damn nice whore. thinks that my og mate is cute. likes to eat like me but aint fat though she thinks she is. like hell no! shes a squasher so i expect her to have friggin powerful arms.prospective boyfrens please break up with her on good terms unless u want to be sent flying when she slaps u.
Poh Kian Yong:
sluttiest guy on the planet. quite a wonder actually in Singapore. also he holds the title of the horniest slut which i am friggin envious of. damn knowledgeable when it comes to sex sex and only sex. wants to have sex with vany at NL1-which has like windows all ard adn this irritating buzzing sound(how can u have peacful sex like tt).
Vanessa Leong:
the sluttiest gal on earth. shes like queen of all sluts, sluts of all sluts. had sex with JEROME in NL1.i dunno wat to sae abt it. i am disappointed in her. jerome is like this gardening guy frm ac who apparently have more than green thumbs.(i will leave you to wonder). by the way she is pusher when it comes to sex.
Gabriel Lim:
bitchy and slutty ac fren to a small extent. treats me as his muscle layer fren...awww. LOVES his guitar and cant live without strumming. tts like damn cool, to be able to play the guitar i mean. omg if he has a band then HES DA MAN.
i would really miss them.... if only bitches and sluts can flock together
said bye to every one i noe except that maths tutor, he-who-shall-not-be-named. i ponned he-who-shall-not-be-named's lecture and tut to go down to rj to appeal.
anyway the main pt is that we are splitting up and it pains my dear heart. i think i wld definately miss the ac teachers:
azlina: youthful and cool teacher
auntie tay: funny and crappy teacher
he-who-shall-not-be-named: bald teacher(sry tts all i can sae)
econs teacher(apparently i have only been to 2 of her lessons and tts not enuf for me to learn her name):naggy and naggy teacher
omg how can i like friggin leave out 1sc4. its like the coolest class and bitchiest(ky, lyn, lauren, van-i am not bitchy) and sluttiest(ky,VAN,lyn,sheryl,LYN,lauren-once again i am not slutty) and most scandalous class(VAN,Van,van,VAn,vaN,vAn,VaN,jerome-lol). i am so gonna miss so many people esp the ppl below:
Lynette Yap qianyu:
lesbian faced momma slut. used to be a punk but now decide to go momma style. i am not surprised if she comes to school witch a pram one day but not know who the father is. despite that SHE HAS 6-4=2pts people and goin to hc, ppl please burn her alive.
Lauren Tan wen qi:
damn nice whore. thinks that my og mate is cute. likes to eat like me but aint fat though she thinks she is. like hell no! shes a squasher so i expect her to have friggin powerful arms.prospective boyfrens please break up with her on good terms unless u want to be sent flying when she slaps u.
Poh Kian Yong:
sluttiest guy on the planet. quite a wonder actually in Singapore. also he holds the title of the horniest slut which i am friggin envious of. damn knowledgeable when it comes to sex sex and only sex. wants to have sex with vany at NL1-which has like windows all ard adn this irritating buzzing sound(how can u have peacful sex like tt).
Vanessa Leong:
the sluttiest gal on earth. shes like queen of all sluts, sluts of all sluts. had sex with JEROME in NL1.i dunno wat to sae abt it. i am disappointed in her. jerome is like this gardening guy frm ac who apparently have more than green thumbs.(i will leave you to wonder). by the way she is pusher when it comes to sex.
Gabriel Lim:
bitchy and slutty ac fren to a small extent. treats me as his muscle layer fren...awww. LOVES his guitar and cant live without strumming. tts like damn cool, to be able to play the guitar i mean. omg if he has a band then HES DA MAN.
i would really miss them.... if only bitches and sluts can flock together
Saturday, February 16, 2008
i am a bitch
went to my aunt's for buffet dinner(my only reason to go). she has this mixed-breed dog (poodle x maltese) and he was so god damn cute. when i arrived, it ran to the door, yelping like mad. actually it din sound like a dog but a horse but oh well. then when i sat down, it came licking at my leg and then next thing he did grossed me out to the max(if i can borrow lauren's vocabulary). it placed his paws on my knee and started to thrust his penis in between my toes. oh my fucking god. thats like the most sexual yet grotesque thing that i have ever seen. his small erected penis rammed through the hole between my big and second toe. fuck u doggie (figuratively). i lifted my legs away but it started clawing my legs WANTING FOR MORE. it was at that moment when i thought that i felt like a bitch, wait a minute, I AM A BITCH.
Friday, February 15, 2008
pictures of you
ah haha the edison chen scandal was such a big-ass-joke. i thought he was like scandalless but no he is one hell of a scandalous guy (get the alliteration?).
Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see.
for the horn dogs out there who want to get a hold on the pictures... get them from catties under the file name "cute hamsters", which i genuinely fell for.
but for those who cant wait... the below are some of the uncensored pictures. scroll down to watch....
for those who are would be offended by nudity or pictures with sexual messages please dun scroll down..
(disclaimer: if you get caught dun blame me hor)
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hold your horses, just a little more
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sorry to disappoint you guys but i am no horny himbotic slut.
anyway to award the horny ppl who took the time to scroll down, heres my main post:
yesterday was wonderfuliciously fun. went to yining's house t watch videos and tok and crap. unfortunately i got raped right after stefan arrived. stupid jeromy help him by forcing him on me (literally). those sluts. if they are so god damn horny, they should get employ a whore to satisfy themselves, except stef needs a gigolo which is kinda hard to find. apparently they have a fetish for a raped victim's screams coz the louder i shouted and screamed and kicked them away, the more i was molested. perhaps they caught the horny wave like i did last time. then went to this steakhouse that ky introed. and our horny friend asked for sex on the coast. i have nth to say. oh yea we bitched like bitches bitching abt other bitches who are also bitching during that hour of bitching probably abt us, the bitches but in fact, we are bitching abt them too.
gabby was real down today... din really toked much...i was really tired today but i dont know why. it was like i had to drag my eye lids to school today. actually thought of ponning sch today coz theres nothing to look forward to. oh yea i was like tired and hungry right after PE(which is the 1st lesson btw) and slutty bimbo, lauren, CONNED 20 minutes of my break. i spent the 20 mins sharing my plight (my hunger) with the gym torture machines all thanks to lauren. then i lashed out a super long string of "slut" at her. i think tts punishment enough.
Well the whole hoohhah really made me want to sing: (naked)pictures of you, (naked)pictures of me, spread around the net, for the world to see.
for the horn dogs out there who want to get a hold on the pictures... get them from catties under the file name "cute hamsters", which i genuinely fell for.
but for those who cant wait... the below are some of the uncensored pictures. scroll down to watch....
for those who are would be offended by nudity or pictures with sexual messages please dun scroll down..
(disclaimer: if you get caught dun blame me hor)
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hold your horses, just a little more
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sorry to disappoint you guys but i am no horny himbotic slut.
anyway to award the horny ppl who took the time to scroll down, heres my main post:
yesterday was wonderfuliciously fun. went to yining's house t watch videos and tok and crap. unfortunately i got raped right after stefan arrived. stupid jeromy help him by forcing him on me (literally). those sluts. if they are so god damn horny, they should get employ a whore to satisfy themselves, except stef needs a gigolo which is kinda hard to find. apparently they have a fetish for a raped victim's screams coz the louder i shouted and screamed and kicked them away, the more i was molested. perhaps they caught the horny wave like i did last time. then went to this steakhouse that ky introed. and our horny friend asked for sex on the coast. i have nth to say. oh yea we bitched like bitches bitching abt other bitches who are also bitching during that hour of bitching probably abt us, the bitches but in fact, we are bitching abt them too.
gabby was real down today... din really toked much...i was really tired today but i dont know why. it was like i had to drag my eye lids to school today. actually thought of ponning sch today coz theres nothing to look forward to. oh yea i was like tired and hungry right after PE(which is the 1st lesson btw) and slutty bimbo, lauren, CONNED 20 minutes of my break. i spent the 20 mins sharing my plight (my hunger) with the gym torture machines all thanks to lauren. then i lashed out a super long string of "slut" at her. i think tts punishment enough.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
will you kill yourself if you get raped by a guy
actually no i dun think i will die over smth like tt.
Lynette said she wld. nt that i care but i think its kinda stupid to get raped by a guy and then kill urself. but then again lynette doesnt even know what pussy willows are so yea she shld die. see this:
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
i mean seriously... pussy willows
nette says:
wth are they
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
omg
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
u are so stupid
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
u dun celebrate cny do u?
nette says:
i do!!!!!!!
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
omg are u sure u dunno wats pussy wilow
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
u know the furry plant thing
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
tt u have durin chinese new year
nette says:
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
nette says:
so thats what its called!
nette says:
haha
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
omg
nette says:
didnt know
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
i almost died at my seat
on a lighter note can any one tell me why pussy willows are called pussy willows?i noe its kinda stupid question but today when i saw the pussy willow that my pops bought, i looked at it and wondered for the whole hr(i know, what a loser). they are prob called pussy willows coz they look like little pussy cats on a willow tree or smth but oh well if u know the ans pls tell me.
by any chance you find this post amusing whether abt the lynette being dumb or the pussy willow qn, pls wave your hand and say "KEN YAN ROCKS" in front of ur computer.
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loser.
Lynette said she wld. nt that i care but i think its kinda stupid to get raped by a guy and then kill urself. but then again lynette doesnt even know what pussy willows are so yea she shld die. see this:
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
i mean seriously... pussy willows
nette says:
wth are they
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
omg
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
u are so stupid
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
u dun celebrate cny do u?
nette says:
i do!!!!!!!
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
omg are u sure u dunno wats pussy wilow
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
u know the furry plant thing
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
tt u have durin chinese new year
nette says:
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
nette says:
so thats what its called!
nette says:
haha
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
omg
nette says:
didnt know
can anyone tell me why pussy willows are called so?(no sexual connotations here) says:
i almost died at my seat
on a lighter note can any one tell me why pussy willows are called pussy willows?i noe its kinda stupid question but today when i saw the pussy willow that my pops bought, i looked at it and wondered for the whole hr(i know, what a loser). they are prob called pussy willows coz they look like little pussy cats on a willow tree or smth but oh well if u know the ans pls tell me.
by any chance you find this post amusing whether abt the lynette being dumb or the pussy willow qn, pls wave your hand and say "KEN YAN ROCKS" in front of ur computer.
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loser.
damn i hate myself
i hate myself coz whenever i open my mouth, "slut or "bitch" comes out (unfortunately nt gold).
i must be more cultured (as stated in my new year resolutions). therefore, i have decided to STOP using the word slut or bitch or whore or hoe or asshole or any other word tt has sexual connotations. i strive to be urbane and genteel so people stop pissing me off or else i am tempted,to once again, use the above dirty words.
anyway on a heavier note, i think i am missing my guys in the class. i dun wanna leave AC argh... no one to gossip with me (notice i din use the b*** word).
i must be more cultured (as stated in my new year resolutions). therefore, i have decided to STOP using the word slut or bitch or whore or hoe or asshole or any other word tt has sexual connotations. i strive to be urbane and genteel so people stop pissing me off or else i am tempted,to once again, use the above dirty words.
anyway on a heavier note, i think i am missing my guys in the class. i dun wanna leave AC argh... no one to gossip with me (notice i din use the b*** word).
Thursday, January 31, 2008
the jaded experience
went to cryst jade today to blow my money coz i gt just too much to spare(sarcastic statement mind u).
get to know more abt gab, our dear chair, lynette, the pampered gal who doesnt know how to take a bus home, lauren, the cryst jade queen, and kianyong, the slut who has 3 GFs in the past.
but really the food is nice. wats more.... the chili is nice lol tts all i guess. kianyong challenged us to guess him gf's name starting with RI_ _ _ _ _ frm scgs. i bet he is gloating some where faraway now but yea shit u kianyong i dun think her nam really starts with tt.
get to know more abt gab, our dear chair, lynette, the pampered gal who doesnt know how to take a bus home, lauren, the cryst jade queen, and kianyong, the slut who has 3 GFs in the past.
but really the food is nice. wats more.... the chili is nice lol tts all i guess. kianyong challenged us to guess him gf's name starting with RI_ _ _ _ _ frm scgs. i bet he is gloating some where faraway now but yea shit u kianyong i dun think her nam really starts with tt.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
back to school
ooo i am getting back to school jitters wahhahahaha
can u imagine 8 days away frm sch? its like the march holidays.
alright the main point of this post is to announce i am crashing RJ tmr.
yay i really wanna see hows rj like now since its been 2 years since my last visit.
i will get to see stef( err, yn (hurray), and yn's a fabled friends like lisa, yile, kw, yitao, aloy, gabriel, nitty.
i heard tt they are nice ppl. at least some are.
oh yea there are still many others i wanna see.... like my primary school friends i am so very excited.
how i wish rj wld accept me. PLEASE rj please hear my plea, open your doors to me. i dun care if u close ur doors to stefan tan ying xian but OPEN WHEN I COME CLOSE. i am the perfect pupil and i swear that i will study hard and not steal other ppl's notes. i also promise no not look at other gals but my notes and tutorials. if stefan come close i will befriend him. i will be nice to him. i promise i will not shun him away(provided he doesnt do anything weird). also i promise to be kind and caring to all the rafflesian i meet. i will bow to say good morning and shake hands or even rub noses. but please dont expect me to French kiss them or smth obscene. coz i must keep myself chaste until a certain some one from some where far away comes..... lol....oh yea abt tt....
i dreamt that i had a daughter adn a elder son. both one yr apart. the son was called Vance and the the daughter was called Valencia (dun ask me why the irony). ahh i so love kids now. now i think of my prospective son and daughters before i sleep. i wonder how long wld it be till i meet them. aww i love them.
can u imagine 8 days away frm sch? its like the march holidays.
alright the main point of this post is to announce i am crashing RJ tmr.
yay i really wanna see hows rj like now since its been 2 years since my last visit.
i will get to see stef( err, yn (hurray), and yn's a fabled friends like lisa, yile, kw, yitao, aloy, gabriel, nitty.
i heard tt they are nice ppl. at least some are.
oh yea there are still many others i wanna see.... like my primary school friends i am so very excited.
how i wish rj wld accept me. PLEASE rj please hear my plea, open your doors to me. i dun care if u close ur doors to stefan tan ying xian but OPEN WHEN I COME CLOSE. i am the perfect pupil and i swear that i will study hard and not steal other ppl's notes. i also promise no not look at other gals but my notes and tutorials. if stefan come close i will befriend him. i will be nice to him. i promise i will not shun him away(provided he doesnt do anything weird). also i promise to be kind and caring to all the rafflesian i meet. i will bow to say good morning and shake hands or even rub noses. but please dont expect me to French kiss them or smth obscene. coz i must keep myself chaste until a certain some one from some where far away comes..... lol....oh yea abt tt....
i dreamt that i had a daughter adn a elder son. both one yr apart. the son was called Vance and the the daughter was called Valencia (dun ask me why the irony). ahh i so love kids now. now i think of my prospective son and daughters before i sleep. i wonder how long wld it be till i meet them. aww i love them.
Monday, January 28, 2008
sometimes its better to be told that i have a terminal illness
6 visits to the doctor and i am finally referred to the singapore general hospital's accident and emergancy department.
i was outraged when i was told that i have high eye pressure. the doctor mentioned in such a serious tone that for a moment, i thought that my eye will burst one day and stain the hospital bed with my slimy vitreous humor.
yep and also i thought that i must be something big to be sent to the A&E department instead of the general practitioner department. when i reach the hospital i expected be forced on the hospital bed and carted off in a hurried fashion to the closest operation theatre to have my eye pierced to release the high pressure in my eye. i was even expecting be detained at the hospital for like dunno how many months and have friends and family visit me and sob by the side of my bed. i was even thinking of writing my will and last words to my loved ones.
but then CHEY. after like waiting for 3 hours, i was diagnosed with a serious case of conjuctivitis that it blurred my vision. and to congratulate me on getting even more sick given a 5 day mc. 5 + 5 days make 10 days of mcs back to back.
i am the king man to be able to be given 10 days of MCs.
i wished that they would stop scaring me all the time by diagnosing me with different illness. first sore throat, then fever, flu, cough, suspected diabetes, eye infection finally conjunctivitis.
the prospect of death is so vivid at the A&E department. You see people with bleeding hands, old people so weak that they slump over on the wheel chairs, old ladies carted off on hospital beds, people walking around with their salt fluid bag hanger. its so scary that u my think that u might die this very point.
sometimes its better to be told that i had a terminal illness and be admitted to the hospital than to go visit the doctors 6 times and to be told that i had a different illness each time.
i was outraged when i was told that i have high eye pressure. the doctor mentioned in such a serious tone that for a moment, i thought that my eye will burst one day and stain the hospital bed with my slimy vitreous humor.
yep and also i thought that i must be something big to be sent to the A&E department instead of the general practitioner department. when i reach the hospital i expected be forced on the hospital bed and carted off in a hurried fashion to the closest operation theatre to have my eye pierced to release the high pressure in my eye. i was even expecting be detained at the hospital for like dunno how many months and have friends and family visit me and sob by the side of my bed. i was even thinking of writing my will and last words to my loved ones.
but then CHEY. after like waiting for 3 hours, i was diagnosed with a serious case of conjuctivitis that it blurred my vision. and to congratulate me on getting even more sick given a 5 day mc. 5 + 5 days make 10 days of mcs back to back.
i am the king man to be able to be given 10 days of MCs.
i wished that they would stop scaring me all the time by diagnosing me with different illness. first sore throat, then fever, flu, cough, suspected diabetes, eye infection finally conjunctivitis.
the prospect of death is so vivid at the A&E department. You see people with bleeding hands, old people so weak that they slump over on the wheel chairs, old ladies carted off on hospital beds, people walking around with their salt fluid bag hanger. its so scary that u my think that u might die this very point.
sometimes its better to be told that i had a terminal illness and be admitted to the hospital than to go visit the doctors 6 times and to be told that i had a different illness each time.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
my pre-u scholarship self-praise essay
my opening statement:
i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship. also i am a horny slut that gets hit my the sex wave every other day.
i so love my opening statements. it introduces my everything to the reader in 3 sentences.
i was so horny yesterday night till it disturbed my friends like yining , eileen, li rui, wei da, vj guy and kok weng (rj guy). some times i wonder if i am the only person to be hit by this horny wave. *citation frm lirui: people probably get horny and wank it off. hmm i realised i am too public when it comes to horniness. normal people hide it coz they are shy abt it but i am not. when i am horny i like to go public. i like to feel loose. i like let go of all restrains. yeah tts what i am, horny.
anyway here are ways to cure horniness:
1. do pumpings(by lirui)
this new and authentic method is said to tire one out till one goes to sleep, apparently hoping that horniness will disappear when you wake up. ps do this only when u are a heavy sleeper.
2. bite your testis off (by me)
cruel and painful. the method targets directly at the root of the problem of high sexual libidos- the gonads. by removing the gonads testosterones levels would plunge significantly thus resulting in lowered horniness. ps: this method is only for people who dont want to have sex anymore and definately not for the faint hearted. also this method may be excuted with the help of a close friend who is willing to taste ur balls. it is prefered that no anesthetics are to be used since biting provides more pleasure.
3. wank it off
this is perhaps the most traditonal method that requires no help nor any insturments (unless you have bondage fetishes)it is proven to to very helpful in lowering libidos but its a short term solution. ps: doing things by ur self may be boring.
4. sex lor
sex the the preferred alternative since its the most pleasing method. if is often said two heads is better than one and i am sure this adage is as effective if the word "heads" is to be replaced with "privates". in any case the more the better
i am so damn good-looking. i have traffic stopping good looks. in my opinion this is what you need to have to get a scholarship. also i am a horny slut that gets hit my the sex wave every other day.
i so love my opening statements. it introduces my everything to the reader in 3 sentences.
i was so horny yesterday night till it disturbed my friends like yining , eileen, li rui, wei da, vj guy and kok weng (rj guy). some times i wonder if i am the only person to be hit by this horny wave. *citation frm lirui: people probably get horny and wank it off. hmm i realised i am too public when it comes to horniness. normal people hide it coz they are shy abt it but i am not. when i am horny i like to go public. i like to feel loose. i like let go of all restrains. yeah tts what i am, horny.
anyway here are ways to cure horniness:
1. do pumpings(by lirui)
this new and authentic method is said to tire one out till one goes to sleep, apparently hoping that horniness will disappear when you wake up. ps do this only when u are a heavy sleeper.
2. bite your testis off (by me)
cruel and painful. the method targets directly at the root of the problem of high sexual libidos- the gonads. by removing the gonads testosterones levels would plunge significantly thus resulting in lowered horniness. ps: this method is only for people who dont want to have sex anymore and definately not for the faint hearted. also this method may be excuted with the help of a close friend who is willing to taste ur balls. it is prefered that no anesthetics are to be used since biting provides more pleasure.
3. wank it off
this is perhaps the most traditonal method that requires no help nor any insturments (unless you have bondage fetishes)it is proven to to very helpful in lowering libidos but its a short term solution. ps: doing things by ur self may be boring.
4. sex lor
sex the the preferred alternative since its the most pleasing method. if is often said two heads is better than one and i am sure this adage is as effective if the word "heads" is to be replaced with "privates". in any case the more the better
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
sanity begone
shit i am feeling very uncomfortable now. after like 4 days of doing nothing but surf the net and sleeping i am really losing my sanity.....this is no joke.
i dunno why i am feeling very hyperactive today. as though i have to do something to stop this weird feeling that i am getting. its so nauseating.i really feel like puking my big-breakfast out right this moment but then i see flashes of weird images in my mind: i see stefan, i see the nan hua girl, i see rape, i see death argh.... fuck i am losing it.... i am hallucinating but i cant stop this feeling. i feel like clawing at my throat. there is no one to talk to there is no way i can settle this weird gush of energy. think its the coffee i had from mac but i cannot rest my case..... help..... i cant stop fidgeting.......
i dunno why i am feeling very hyperactive today. as though i have to do something to stop this weird feeling that i am getting. its so nauseating.i really feel like puking my big-breakfast out right this moment but then i see flashes of weird images in my mind: i see stefan, i see the nan hua girl, i see rape, i see death argh.... fuck i am losing it.... i am hallucinating but i cant stop this feeling. i feel like clawing at my throat. there is no one to talk to there is no way i can settle this weird gush of energy. think its the coffee i had from mac but i cannot rest my case..... help..... i cant stop fidgeting.......
Thursday, January 24, 2008
ei wait he is still missing in action
for those who have been quietly wishing and hoping....counting your lucky stars or whatever..... I AM NOT DEAD YET.
much to your dismay i was only attacked by an unnamed disease. AND to award my hours for hard work and persistence while fighting the disease, i was AWARDED with a 5-day MC. WOA how cool hor....
but i must tell you IT SUCKS.
i hate falling sick coz its hard to lead a normal life like others i (nt that i really have fake legs or smth) but its just that i have to get exempted from certain activities eg. soccer ( i allegedly have allergy to grass- what a load of crap). any way i am just FUCKING pissed by my stupid body.
alright sickness aside TODAY IS COLLECT-YOUR-O-LEVEL-RESULTS-DAY.
yeah damn pissed that i din get an A1 for english Amaths and Chem but then again i am nt that clever anyway. i have learnt to be satisfied with my o level result (8-4 pts) but the base line is that i cant GO RJ what the fuck... NOW I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO!!! i cannot go rj nor HC and i dun wanna go NJ so where do i go..........lala land la. alright nt funny.
read the papers and they said that our year did nt do as well as the previous... like hell i care.
missed going out with GO6 coz my my beautiful eyes that requires queen-like treatment.
i hope my eye gets cure by tmr coz they are going out again.... miss them oh yea i miss sonjia too pss dun say out ar
much to your dismay i was only attacked by an unnamed disease. AND to award my hours for hard work and persistence while fighting the disease, i was AWARDED with a 5-day MC. WOA how cool hor....
but i must tell you IT SUCKS.
i hate falling sick coz its hard to lead a normal life like others i (nt that i really have fake legs or smth) but its just that i have to get exempted from certain activities eg. soccer ( i allegedly have allergy to grass- what a load of crap). any way i am just FUCKING pissed by my stupid body.
alright sickness aside TODAY IS COLLECT-YOUR-O-LEVEL-RESULTS-DAY.
yeah damn pissed that i din get an A1 for english Amaths and Chem but then again i am nt that clever anyway. i have learnt to be satisfied with my o level result (8-4 pts) but the base line is that i cant GO RJ what the fuck... NOW I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO!!! i cannot go rj nor HC and i dun wanna go NJ so where do i go..........lala land la. alright nt funny.
read the papers and they said that our year did nt do as well as the previous... like hell i care.
missed going out with GO6 coz my my beautiful eyes that requires queen-like treatment.
i hope my eye gets cure by tmr coz they are going out again.... miss them oh yea i miss sonjia too pss dun say out ar
Monday, January 21, 2008
guess what......
i am sick again. i have fucken up my whole immune system so now i am so damn sick.
we had our proper lectures and tuts today. and i almost slept during bio lecture. acjc is like a labyrinth. i just cant find my way ard her.
anyway i have nth nice to blog abt. my ife is such a board game (bored game geddit?)
we had our proper lectures and tuts today. and i almost slept during bio lecture. acjc is like a labyrinth. i just cant find my way ard her.
anyway i have nth nice to blog abt. my ife is such a board game (bored game geddit?)
Monday, January 14, 2008
New Year Resolutions
the only good thing about being sick is that i allows one to spend lots of time to think, reflect and change.and so, sickly me decided to spend this time to come up with my NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS (NYR) after much procrastination.
NYR1: be more active in my JC life
i was a true-blue mugger who does not eat during recess for the sake of studying nad the betterment of my future. well this is about to change this year. of course i don't expect myself to do a 180 degree change in attitude towards studies but a 90 degree would be optimum.
NYR2: become knowledgeable
despite studying like most of my pathetic secondary life, i still fall into the category of THE HIMBOS. i have no sense of direction, practicality nor any common sense for all matters. when i stand next to Jeromy, i feel as though i am under the tree of knowledge. i strive to emulate his ways.
NYR3: be more cultured
yeah i admit i dig my nose indiscriminately in public, fart and lying that i was not me (gasp!), scratch my ass crack when no one is looking, dig my nails at dinner, lift my legs up during meals(is there any english term for qiao jiao?). yeah gasp for all i care. i am not as graceful as i paint my self to be.
NYR4: target weight of 55kg by june and 60 by november.
(self explanatory)
NYR5: reach a target height of 175 by the end of the year.
oh shit i have not grown any taller since secondary 3. sometimes i like to tell myself that it is now more fashionable to be short.
NYR6: try to get together with GO6 as often as possible.
i realised i will neglect my old friends when i am not around them often enough. To prevent that from happening, i aim to spend as much time as possible with GO6. at the end of the year, i hope thta they will be as important to me as they were last year.
NYR1: be more active in my JC life
i was a true-blue mugger who does not eat during recess for the sake of studying nad the betterment of my future. well this is about to change this year. of course i don't expect myself to do a 180 degree change in attitude towards studies but a 90 degree would be optimum.
NYR2: become knowledgeable
despite studying like most of my pathetic secondary life, i still fall into the category of THE HIMBOS. i have no sense of direction, practicality nor any common sense for all matters. when i stand next to Jeromy, i feel as though i am under the tree of knowledge. i strive to emulate his ways.
NYR3: be more cultured
yeah i admit i dig my nose indiscriminately in public, fart and lying that i was not me (gasp!), scratch my ass crack when no one is looking, dig my nails at dinner, lift my legs up during meals(is there any english term for qiao jiao?). yeah gasp for all i care. i am not as graceful as i paint my self to be.
NYR4: target weight of 55kg by june and 60 by november.
(self explanatory)
NYR5: reach a target height of 175 by the end of the year.
oh shit i have not grown any taller since secondary 3. sometimes i like to tell myself that it is now more fashionable to be short.
NYR6: try to get together with GO6 as often as possible.
i realised i will neglect my old friends when i am not around them often enough. To prevent that from happening, i aim to spend as much time as possible with GO6. at the end of the year, i hope thta they will be as important to me as they were last year.
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