turn the lights on - the emperor is back

woo hoo i am back.

long story short:

genting was horrid. we waited 3 hours to get our rooms. i hate long bus journeys 5 freakin hours. the breakfast was a race to see who can get to the buffet table 1st. the waiters dont bother clearing the tables. the shopping centre aint big. post christmas sales were not bad. got my self a head sock and a leather wallet.

went KL after that. god times square is so friggin huge. my mum and i tried to cover 6 floors selling solely clothes in less than 10 hours. failed. but got keychains for GO6. bought 3 imitation puma shorts for 30 RM total (14 plus dollars). got a tee at 15 RM (7 dollars plus). almost bought a watch. things are fucking cheap there most stuff are going for 10 RM(4 dollars plus) or 20RM. sales are often at 50% or 70%. loved the 5 star hotel:) did a dance to "Tick Tock" on the bus and dug my nose in front of the camera on the bus in front of my seat.

I'll be comming round the mountains

k i am leaving soon in about 15min time. my family is acting as though we are going off to london. my pops think that we are migrating lol. its genting damit.

blogger is giving me problems so i wont be blogging soon.

quote of the day 7

the heart is like a chameleon; its fidelity changes with circumstances

music industry masscre - the inevitable death of artists

currently queenie is on a massive scaled design to destroy the entire music industry by singing all their songs.

his voice is like a poison which seeps right into the heart of the song and destroying it from within.

this era's pop artists are being culled at an astonishing rate. amongst the ruins are the dead bodies of Lady Gaga, Beyonce, David Archuleta, Leona Lewis, Kelly Clarkson, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Cristina Aguilera. very soon other singers or bands shall add on to the pile of carcass. once beautiful musicians now reduced to a lifeless footrest beneath the queenie's jimmy cho pumps.

apocalypse, the bible calls it, is inevitable, it wont be long before the entire music industry is left with the few opera songs which queenie's voice range cant reach.

from my friend betty

i am so sorry for the lack of intellectual quotes. not that i am no longer intellectual, its just that i need more things to strike me, like a bolt of lightning perhaps.

oh theres this quote from Ugly Betty that i would like to dedicate to you all. "if it werent for your clogged pores, you tiny little brains would have seeped out"

christmas carol

2 day ago, i was forced to watch christmas carol in 3d with my brother and mum. god it was boring as fuck. i never understood why they did not change the language. everything was spoken in charles dickens cryptic language, how the hell are we suppose to understand much less the children? even before the ghosts visited him, i started counting down to the end of the movie. if not for my mother's constant nudging, i would have fallen asleep. and so to keep awake, i stuffed my face with pop corn and chanted " tickets cost $13 so i cannot sleep". 13 fricken dollars to watch that dumb show with a pair of 10kg goggles. oh yea there was this old man who reeked of mothballs next to me. he kept laughing at ever scene, i swear he must have laughed till he peed on his pants. the show aint even funny!

so from 0 to 5 stars with 0 being the worst, i rate this show 0. believe me if i can take away more stars i would.

clare's b day

the day started with a very very long and tedious 45 minute wait for the 3 belles to register and book their driving shit. well i wont say 45 min is very long but 45 min with stefan, our red maiden, sure is long and tedious. as expected, stefan spoiled the surprise.

then we made our way to vivo where stefan and jero started making noise about waiting. i guess their just not used to it. i on the other hand had plenty of training with my mum and aleshya who both are able to try on every single piece of clothing and still leave the store empty handed. we had our picnic at the roof garden where a dissatisfied red maiden made so much noise about the food till i had to resist a great impulse to stick two potatoes into his furry nostrils.

we flew to sentosa next where we trudge through the wet sand while listening to our red maiden whined about the sprite bottle which she had to lug. fucking bitch thinks that shes a queenie fuck who cannot carry anything that weighs more than air. after some touring, we ended up at delifrance where i was accused of gluttony.

still hungry, we got cup noodles and ate them while we watch songs from the sea. what a spectacular show. the lasers, the gentle streams of water dancing about each other while fierce conflagrations erupted in the background. queenie decided that we were too bored and started his unstoppable lady gaga medley which was utterly irritating and nauseating.

there we had our whore house photoshoot with 5 people on the mat with one screaming queen and a string red starry lights. thank god jeromy punished queenie by burying his sandals and throwing his bag on the sand.

overall, a great day, no thanks to the royal bitch.

quote of the day 6

selling sex for materialistic desires is like shopping with nature's credit card

how to cover weight gain

well i might as well admit it. i have gained a little weight. little being 5 kg since before the exams.

and so to mask the weight gain as muscle mass, i shall go hit the gym.

quote of the day 5

Ameline is a disgustingly optimistic person. she practically vomits sunshine everywhere

quote of the day 4

"gravy is not a beverage"

its the end

its the end of classroom learning.

watched 12 rounds and orphan with gang today, probably the nosiest bunch in the world. while john cena (senile) was talking jeromy was imitating the other actors speaking while stefan couldnt keep his mouth shut about cena's buns. it was worse in when we were watching orphan: jeromy kept quiet most of the time while stefan (well he didnt scream, much to my disappointment) was busy in his running commentary on how esther should have tormented the house hold, and he is more scheming than that 33 year old kid. all in all a nice evening spent though it would have been a hell lot pleasant if stefan were to stop linking every random word to a Gaga song.

the most thought provoking part was when jeromy said he didnt an A. then at the Mrt station he put himself down by saying he has many flaws and that he is not academically superb.

well i have always saw jeromy as a street smart person. he is the kind of person that can make his way home even when you dump him in some thailand jungle. i guess he doesnt see that as a plus point which is kinda sad cause i have always been jealous of people who are street smart. i consider stefan and i more book smart. i mean we can study really hard but if left stranded, we are clueless. street smart people can survive in the harshest of conditions cause they can seek success through the little cracks and tight corners. its good to be street smart jeromy, and i would never take that kind of talent lightly.

quote of the day #3

"life is a swirling eddy of dispair; swim or sink."

Deep huh.

horror horror

the world is coming to an end. the sun shall never rise again and the moon shall tango with the stars. the tides shall rise and form pillars of water reaching to the sky. the land shall fall apart and fires shall outline the horizon.

i swear i have no idea what that is.

btw that cause i just found out that my bro is actually a facebook celebrity

BTW i am sick of trying to find nice blogskins so BEGONE ALL BLOGSKINS.

Quote 2

"lady gaga dances like a robotic chicken."

its $1 for each word you quote

The Guitar Hero

just dug out my guitar yesterday and decided to relearn every thing. it looked pretty good aside from random patches of fungus here and there but it totally sounded like stefan - completely out of tune. being tone deaf, i cant really tune my guitar properly so can some kind soul teach me how to tune or lend me your electric tuna (tuner wahaha you get it?) please?

i have decided to start from basic plucking then to strumming. well if i have the money, maybe i will get a proper teacher:)

O'Sage

Quote 1:
Greatest pleasure in life is when one discovers what one is most passionate about.

well to appear sophisticated and intelligent, i shall dispense quotes here and there.

call me O'Sage Wong from now on

eileen is out of da hosp already.

yining almost got knocked down by some ugly man.

i am running out of inspirational anecdotes to tell.

god life sux

Sagacious

sa⋅ga⋅cious
  /səˈgeɪʃəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suh-gey-shuhs] Show IPA
Use sagacious in a Sentence
See web results for sagacious
See images of sagacious
–adjective
1. having or showing acute mental discernment and keen practical sense; shrewd: a sagacious lawyer.
2. Obsolete. keen of scent.
Origin:
1600–10; sagaci(ty) + -ous

A MAN OF WORDS AND NOT OF DEEDS

A MAN OF WORDS AND NOT OF DEEDS

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow
It's like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall
It's like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It's like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It's like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It's like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It's like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.

the way that you stare starts a fire in me

lets watch how madonna gets shamelessly "sexy" around some young jock. she is older than his mother for sure

eileen's gonna be a lawyer+economist and i so damn proud of her:)

i wanna go to polytech to study Occupational therapy/ speech therapy/ physiotherapy. i am screwed

bottle pop. was singing this during my math paper.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZO9y27MWVs
look at Nicole's knuckle dusters o.0

ARGH

i cant believe i went to school for a 10 min consult.

some teachers should be sent to Guantanamo Bay with all the other terrorist.

i mean if you have got no patience THEN DUN AGREE TO CONSULTATION.

when i win the president scholarship, you are NOT getting any thanks from me.
when i get rich, i will make you suck the dirt under my toe nails.

Francis Yip and her boobs or lack of

my family is finally going to bring me some where else besides JB. Yes i will finally get to see the world, i will finally get to experience new cultures, i will finally get to see the fabled GENTING HIGHLANDS.

my mother had this weird notion that wherever we go, there will be bombers hiding behind the plants at the lobby or disguised as waiters... my simple minded mum.

oh my family have already decided on the itinerary:

1. karaoke
oh god karaoke. imagine 3 hours of listening to those 2 fossils sing while some angmoh in swimsuit dance in the wind. I NEED BRITNEY SPEARS, I NEED BLACK EYED PEAS, I NEED KELLY CLARKSON. its gonna be a disaster.

2. bowling
yay bowling. i love bowling, its probably my best sport, 50+ point average.

3. shopping
retail therapy woohooo, just hope my parent dont hang around too much around the souvenir shop.

i suggested watching Oliver! The Musical and my they all scowled at the suggestion then told me to go watch it myself and while they all go listen to francis yip sing about cancer-infected boobs.

i dreamed today that ViVi and Aleshya were going out. OMFG HOW CAN SHE. i mean its just 11 months and 1 day and how dare you frolic with some cheap trashy guy. argh i wanna KILL SOME ONE. shall talk to her soon about it.

WTF IS MY BLOGSKIN

dam my blog skin is gone

Eil b day

eileen's birthday was on monday. yay.

i shall draw after A's.

a little hot video, the blonde's hot.



this aint the orginal video. the original song for this video is actually Weekend by who-cares-who-that-guy-is. the vid is strangely apt for this song. btw the song is S.A.M.S.P.A.R.R.O.

Shocking Defamation Of ACS By NJC Students

Wong Ken Yan

Its on Stomp, its on Xin Min Wan Bao and of course on facebook. An appalling display of arrogance and lack of culture manifested in the classroom the the highly acclaimed Junior College on god-knows-when. Pictures put up by whoever depicted Njc students presenting with a mahjong paper on their views of how dictatorial regimes should be executed and they coincidentally decided to use ACS as an example (buncha noobs at least use some school that SOUNDS like ACS eg ASC or SCA)

The atrocious act by the "future leaders" of Singapore invited a hailstorm of heated comments. The school and its students were lambasted publicly by many for its irresponsible behaviour while little or no others retorted or defended the Junior college.

Understanding that this was an official school activity, many wondered: what has became of Singapore's moral education for Junior college students? Has education became so academically oriented that students without sound moral values are neglected? Has the omittance of a structured time slot of moral education in the JC time table resulted in moral erosion? In this case, the students have demonstrated a poor judgment and yet the teacher(s) has permitted such degradation of virtues in the classroom. Hence it is in my opinion that the students responsible and teacher who did not prevent or initiated it to be given the lethal injection to appease the students of ACS and also as a sacrifice to warn all Singaporeans that degradatory remarks are not tolerated, an epitome of a dictatorial regime.

On less solemn and more celebratory note, Ris Low is bumped of the throne : Boomz and shes gone. Hurray for the runner up.

untitled

my mum has been yo-ing me these few days. i mean shes like "yo son, wassup."

ever since she took up that first-aid course, she has been acting all weird. she even wanted to watch fame with me and knows that lewis hamilton's girlfriend sang JaiHo.

i think she is getting too friendly with the teenagers.

my neighbour is 20 and knocked up. yup its wan bao's daughter.

oh she was dam weird that day. she kept looking at the lift when my pops walked past her house. she did not bother to say hi but just kept looking at the lift with some worried expression. then my pops saw this lady in front of the lift who turns out to be her dear knocked up slutty daughter. my pops turned back to see wan bao's oh-shit-i-am-busted face. then we came to know from the horses mouth or in this case the whore's mouth that she dropped out of school (my guess is cause she cant fit into the lecture theatre seats). and, she married that guy whom i assumed to be some guy who has lived in the cave since 1980s and have not heard of condoms. then again that whore might have always wanted kids, and there she got one, right smack in her last year in Uni, who am i to judge

i am her neighbour so that automatically grants me the right to judge her. oh that low down trashy slut. cant she wait till shes married? but premarital sex is so prevalent nowadays so i guess it was bound to happen to somebody, why not let that somebody be my dearest neighbour so that i have something to gossip about. pregnant at such a young age.... her figure will never come back from it.

of course i am not callous. some part of me wished she hadnt been so messed up. she was after all a JC student with certain caliber. moral of the story, dont get pregnant if you are Ken Yan's neighbour.

Fame

went to watch fame with stefan, the apprentice of mother earth (his whole closet is filled with colours of nature like sunshine yellow and grass green) , and yn.

ooo fame, people with real talent and pretty voices not like that screechings of tinkerbell. jenny and alice were HOT HOT HOT. of course there were losers on the show like *spoilers* rather go act on sesame street and study in an art college.

next time i swear i shall never take tinkerbell to town. all he looks at are the new urban male guys and other gangsta looking guys. the WORSE part is he STARES AT THEM. even when they stare back, he would continue looking at that guy. omfg i am so embarrassed by him.

he needs a boyfriend. all gay and single put your hands in the air yall.

he is one naughty boy guaranteed to please :)

Prelim's Ova

prelim is finally over. 4 solid weeks of mugging makes me feel old; walking around little india and the ACM with eil and yn almost unscrewed my fake legs.

we went to little india to celebrate (not your average teenagers i guess). toured the place with nan hua pri schoolers and their tour guide hoping that they would lead us to somewhere with good food.

then we went on to Asian Civilisation Museum to see islamic gods and giant silver earrings. my dearest cheapskate friends out there, NJ and HCI has free admissions so make use of the chance before you graduate.

lastly we headed off to raffles city and eat and read books in MPH where yn and eil sat in the middle of the walkway between 2 shelves reading a book about little girls and old men.

nth funny to blog about unless you want to know about how i forgot to zip my pants today and only found out about it when my teacher told me to tuck in my shirt.

side note: i am obese

update

got army specs made by this man whos 100000 million years old.

its freaking 85 dollars

its so cheap that i think the stall might just close tomorrow.

got my hair cut so that i dont have to hold my hair up when i mug

nothing else

stressed but im lovin it

My name is Ken yan and i am a cynic

i hate happy GP teachers and i shant name anyone cause i know teachers love to get reading materials from blogs.

i cant understand why some people can smile all the time like nothing ever fazes them. LIARS i call these people. in fact i find them most dangerous because they are so good at hiding their emotions. who the hell knows what they are scheming be hing your backs. the well-known cliche (takes 4 muscles to smile and 11 to frown) is evidently flawed. since smiling and frowning uses muscles, why not just stay stoic for the rest of your life. in fact if u want to tone your facial muscles why not frown more?! happiness is overrated.

yea yea i am the devil of the human world, all dark and twisted. wake up and smell the flowers you helium-brained lala land inhabitants, it stinks. life's not as easy as you make it seem so quit inhaling your laughter gas and start feeling the pain.

yea i am a cynic and i am proud of it

Birthday week

its finally over.

i would like to thank everyone for their birthday messages. and to those who dont even know my birthday is over, go eat my ass.

3 years ago i decided to not celebrate my birthday. not like forget-that-22-july-is-the-best-day-on-earth but more like no fanfare, no surprise parties, no presents. i have no way to explain why i dont like celebrating my birthday but all i can come up with is that i hate being the centre of attention. i refuse to have people do stuff in my honor (though i proudly claim that the solar eclipse was a birthday gift from god). i guess i am just contented to spend the day with people i like.

happy belated birthday to myself :)

the ring of fire

i cant take it anymore. for the past 12 hours i have shat 7 times and now my anus hurts so much that i call it the pacific ring of fire.

The death of a social life

1 month of mugging is social murder.

every single day living in recluse is like a stab wound to my social life.

after 30 days, its pretty much dead.

as of now i hate interacting. my mind has no desire to talk to others. why why why?!!

i am now becoming the people that i hate : gross muggers.

boarding school life is one of the main cause of this but some how i am thankful. i guess i just have to embrace my new face-in-the-book persona.

aint no socialite

my humor is gone.... its seeping into my electrochem notes, my tutorials and my revision packages.

i have always wondered why teachers like to print notes on colour paper. dude! adding a little baby blue to my revision package or yellow to my sampling notes doesnt interest me. if only notes were printed with alternating full photos of eva longoria and katherine heigl. if only our notes were half porn.

yes i get turned on by notes like that

DONT ASK ME OUT CUZ I AINT NO SOCIALITE.

i love greys anatomy...

i am crazy

WINNER!

the china transexuals from up stairs have sold their house and have moved out WHOOOOO HOOOOOO but still, they did not leave without their last attack.

well i really have respect them for their devious strategy. but i still win cause they moved out = surrender to the WONGS.

when they bought the house, they have already decided to lay cement on the floor instead of tiles. so when they sold the house, the owners will have to do the flooring all over again. And so for the past 2 days, i have been rocking to the sound of drill bits against the cement and jamming to the rhythmic hammerings in my new vibrating toilet bowl (which quivers along with the walls and ceiling while they drilled upstairs). ahh the sweet music of triumph.

Rayna's Birthday

jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4

steamboat, bakerzin, tea party.

monopoly, pawned stefan's pussy, boycott stefan.

scones, still owe eileen $2.70 (REMIND ME!!!)

most of all...

jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4 jeromy owes me $4

debits and credits

OWE EILEEN $2.70
JEROMY OWES ME $4.00

med check.... ok

Mindef med check was uneventful. well i thought so cause my friends' all seem so amusing. my friend, Wen *ahem* was questioned about the number of balls he had ROFL. Wei *ahem* thought the urine test thing was odd. i have no idea why everyone is making a big deal out of a Med check, its not like they make them strip and make out with a horse.

actually i half expected them to tell me something like "hey you have 3 dicks!" or "Hey you are overweight!" but that never came. CHEH

the worst part of it was doin the aptitude test. actually its more of a himbo or not test and i guess i am the former. those questions are so brain draining that you can hear people whining and whining the whole time. of course i did not whine cause that would have been not urbane of me but in my own cubicle, i was cursing every question that came up....silently

well cause my past glaucoma history and apparent awkward heartbeat, the results are still pending. i told them my heart was shy and they did not listen... damn those murmuring bastards. oh speaking of murmur, i realised that all the med officers LOVE to mutter and murmur and drone to themselves argh. i dont have jumbo's ears damit so speak louder and enunciate!

saw fan shu (shu fan) and samsen witalyalai (samson lai) and gerrard. all looking good. dam i need more sleep

my neighbours

well theres something i should tell about my neighbours. none of them are sane.

starting from the family on the left of my block. not long before they moved, they were still looking great. the husband had a small inverted triangle body shape with muscles so tight that you just might be able to reach into his rack and eat his abs like mantous. the wife was hot: tall slender and tanned. but over the years a daughter popped out. i dont know if its due to the pregnancy or the husband's humongous dingo, but the wife's hips widdened like canyon. they got fat over the days and now they are like any other potbellied-husband-flabby-wife combo. they are an oddly happy family. Every saturday or sunday, they will have their family/friends gathering. i have never once heard them shout or cry. its usually the boisterous laughter filling their house and emanating to the corridors. what the fuck? why are they so friggin happy when they are so fat. i bet the reason why i dont hear their quarrels is cause their parents ,who renovated their house personally, built a underground dungeon. every night, the husband andwife would have to go back to the dungeon to wait on their parents hand and feet or they shall be whipped. in an attempt to put up a facade, they employed actors to act as their family members every weekend. ah ha! thats where they made the most obvious mistake: no family is that happy all the time unless they are all high on crack.

neighbour 2 is the family living along the corridor. god this is ODD with double cap Ds. lets just start with the mother. she is this auntie who we all nicknamed wan bao. this ingenious nickname was coined by me cause she is really like some tabloid magazine. she has her paparazzi planted at every block she kinda knows whats going on in the entire estate all the time. she is the most fearful gossip queen i have every heard of. sometimes i am forced to walk with her back home from the MRT. she would then fill me in with LOTS AND LOTS of gossips like "you know or not huh, the auntie at the end hor, her son ar broke up with his girl friend leh. aiyo yound people nowadays ar, cannot be together for long one leh. eh you got girl friend or not?" yes and ever so often she would try to dig dirt about my family. her daughter is also another force not to be meddled with. after she got back her As, she was so sad that she CAME TO MY FRIGGIN HOUSE. like WTF! apparently she treats my house like some counseling centre. so SHE MADE US LISTEN TO HER SOB STORIES ABOUT HOW SHE WAS NOT DOIN WELL IN JJC. like fuck i care. the son aint some saint either. i cant stand it when he tries to be chummy with me all the time. the worst part was there was one i went out to take out the trash in my AC dance shirt. AND HE FRIGGIN SAW. so he came out to tell me how much he loved dancing in JJC (we are of the same age and he is in JJ dance). "why dont we both do dance one day". Weird look.

finally there is the china people above me. yep the auntie who complained about my singing is from that family. in chronological order, in the past, the china father and the china son smoked at the balcony and shook their cigarette ashes out the balcony. they then got blown into my balcony directly below. side note: my parents are CLEAN FREAKS. anyway, my father just mopped the balcony and when he realised that it was dirty again, he went up to complain. after that, she auntie caught me singing at 6 am and complained. an eye for an eye. then there was another time when we found dust-like particles in our balcony. my mum went up to complain thinking that they threw ashes again. and so my mum went up and the auntie said that no one was smoking. she then assured my mum "oh 不是灰尘, 是我的头皮屑"

tragic death

there was a tragic death yesterday.

a Burmese woman jumped to her death at my block from the 9th storey.

her body was crushed outside the lift lobby; her blood ran between the tiles and into the drain; her hair was wet with blood; her eyes were closed (well according to psychological research, people who do not have the guts to face their problems do not have their guts to see their own death); her mouth was in a pout as her lips pressed against the cold hard tiles; her teeth was in a mess, all covered in dark red blood; her body laid motionless, in a face-down-sprawled-eagle pose.

actually i did not see her body cause at that time i was still frolicking in slumberland but that is how i have always pictured deaths from suicide jumps to be. suicide cases have been on the rise these 2 months. i blame their weakened mentality while others blamed the recession. why is everyone dropping dead... literally?

parting gift

i guess i have never introduced my room mate properly. anyway hes ho sheng rui 16 currently 1 metres tall. i have always saw him as my little brother, if not my son.

this was his parting gift:

all good things

boarding life with voices from heaven is officially over...

i guess boarding in term 3 will be far different from this term. without shengz, norminal fee, soggy, jackie chan, tty...

i just wanna thank the people above for making my boarding life so interesting. frankly speaking i kinda detested hostel life initially but after a while i kinda found a family in boarding school.

argh fuck. why do all good things come to an end?

biological warfare

the Boarding School is seriously cocking up my biological clock.

since i have been there, i sleep at 12am or later on weekdays.

its currently 1.56 according to Chelsea (my computer) and i still cant sleep! my eyes are tired but my body wants to go on. ohmymotherloadofcrappyanusgoo i have no idea what that is either.

a hanger, bunch of insects, a hot butt and 2 sets of very very sick minds

this was how i remembered it.

soggy and i were tired and bored. and insect (Jamie) flew in. soggy killed it. i found another insect (victor) running around on the floor. curious to see what would victor would do when he sees jamie lying dead in front of it, we dropped jamie in this path. as victor approached, i was waiting to watch a necrophillic insect porn but nah victor was too much of a pussy to shag already dead jamie. in fact victor avoided jamie just as i flee from a cockroach. i guess theres a section in the insect penal code that says :

sex with another sex-legged creepy crawly(crawlies) is ground for de-wingment.

anyway we found many other insects and so we decided to use this random hanger to torture them : the hanger was lifted up and down at high frequency, replicating an automatic execution scaffold, in the path of the puny creatures.

most died of course. the most amusing case is this fly's abdomen was partially flattened. but it continued to flee from the death-o-hanger, with its innards spilling out.

some were smart enough to notice that the hanger wasnt entirely straight and escaped through the gaps. others flapped their wings and saved their asses. nevertheless the hanger caught up with them and ...

there was one insect that was really long, like 3 underscores(___) long. well the longer they are the easier to kill.

then there was a daddy-long-legs spider who ran frantically, even as it lost its legs one by one.

after the brief genocide, i was crouching on the bed trying to sleep. then soggy started to rape my hot butt with the execution tool.

now, i feel like shitting all the time.

everything is going to be alright

Shengz currently has some problems of his own.
but everything is going to be straightened out for sure tomorrow, cause i told him so.
everything would be better i hope.

i have got problems of my own too but i prefer to solve them myself but they aint gonna be solved any time soon. i guess i shall just wait till that day comes.

all happy couples shall die die die

just as the title says argh KAP is totally swarming with disgusting couples today argh. its mac donald's head quaters damit. either you eat or you screw the ronald macdonalds statue, no private sexcapades in the compound.

everyone is freakin attached except my fellow lonesome comrades :) take pride in being single my men, your life has only enough space for 1.

elementary my dear watson

today's math paper was, to put it all in one word, "friggin easy"

call me arrogant but skipped cause they were too easy for me babe. who the hell cant solve 3 equations and 5 unknowns simultaneously, working on that question is just a waste of my time which could be spent on other more brain straining questions.

all in all i completed about 12 marks out of 30 worth of questions and i sure do expect an A this time, as usual.

by the way how do you "do the helen keller"?

Vanadium is my new name

Swimming Nationals

this years swimming nationals was far more exciting than last year's well mainly cause of THE FAT GUY (TFG)

well anyway this was how it all went:

my coach told me that TFG was some muscular dude who was the lead swimmer in their team so i kinda was scared of him. TFG was swimming in the lane next to me by the way.

and so during reporting, to my horror, TFG is some ginormous can of ghee but dont be deceived by his oily and cuddly out look, cause he is kinda like a whale in the pool. i seriously wonder if fats and swimming are related in any way. he was swimming faster than me for the 1st 6 laps cause i was half freaking out due to the fact that there were 4 water polo swimmers in my heat. so for the rest of the 24 laps i told myself "better pawn that fat ass and show him that swimming is a skinny-person sport. well anyway at my 27th lap i was close to that swine then, the officials drop the line. well you see after a certain time limit, the officials would have drop the line in the pool well life sucks. din catch up with that swine finally bleh.

officially hate fat people now.

Norman

NORMAN (verb)
Past tense / past participle : normaned

pronounced as Noor-Men

To "norman", is to walk around with shorts but no underwear.

eg. I normaned my way to my room after a shower.

hate nobody but you

vengeful presidents should be locked up in a clothes factory

bureaucracy

council elections are such a massive waste of time since candidate usually all get into council anyway and no this is not conceived out of my hatred for authority.

candidates are to campaign to get votes from other people but i really dont see any point in this. some people are just making use of this to boost their popularity eg. Slutty Bitchy Whore.

argh.

ANtecedent

an·te·ce·dent(ān'tĭ-sēd'nt)
adj. Going before; preceding.
n.

1. One that precedes another.
2.
1. A preceding occurrence, cause, or event. See Synonyms at cause.
2. antecedents The important events and occurrences in one's early life.
3. antecedents One's ancestors.

random

damn that nominal fee and derrick. well i really thought that they lost their game and were feeling all terrible about it but hell no. they won but still felt bad about it. buncha losers. yea you heard me nominal fee, buncha losers.

nominal fee is norman's new nick name.

soggy small boy SSB is wen song's new nick name.

shengz is a good boy but hope i dont corrupt him with my newest motto: pretend homework doesnt exist and you will never have to do it. well anyway he has been more than patient with my disgusting behavior but even if he doesnt, who cares lol.

kinda miss Go7-2 but i have no idea why...

seriously apologise for the lack of interesting posts these few days

shake shake shake shake a shake it

they deserve it

PW results are out WAHOOO but dam there isnt anything to be happy about cause 2 of my group members got a B :(

i know something went wrong but STOP ASKING ME WHAT damn you people STOP ASKING argh.

some people certainly dont deserve an A. we should all set up a PW A foundation where people not deserving of an A surrender their As and we will then distribute their As to those who are deserving of it. people not deserving of the A should all just shut up and be glad. dont think you can talk bad about my group just cause you got an A you whipped-cream-for-brains.

I seriously dont know what went wrong. i am not particularly thrilled that i got an A either cause their aint any euphoria when only 3 out of 5 people get As. EVERYONE TRIED THEIR BEST DAMNIT. argh.

my condolences goes out to my 2 dearest team mates and the examiner whom yi ning slept with.

cant sleep damit

i really cant sleep and so i shall do nothing but blog and talk crap. and yea this post aint gonna be some quality post.

the past few days in hostel was rather fun. perhaps i am the only who thinks this way cause i have many many Many friends here. if you want to survive in hostel, YOUVE GOTTA HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS. serious.

anyway kok leong is no longer my room mate already (dont tell him but i am going to celebrate this day tomorrow). that ingrate has decided to sleep with his sex mate qing wei in room 444 yea it really is 444. no qing wei is not a ghost.

new roomie is Sheng Rui who is currently doing some weird stuff behind me now but anyway hes a good clean kid unlike my dearest EX roomie kok leong the cockroach.

Shengy loves LADY GAGA TOO and he has TONS of food in his closet :) i think this is going to be the start of a very very interesting friendship:)

and kok leong can go roll in the mud for all i care >:( how is having the best roomie in the world worth trading for the convenience of sleeping with a sex mate huh huh you tell me

Godfather

since sunday, i had been hosting cebu exchange students in the hostel:). at first i was place in-charged of 1 cebu guy then some how i had 2 cebuians (for convenience sake), then taiwan (yes thats his name) shamelessly unloaded his buddy on me so i had 3. well it did not stop there. 2 other cebuians ditched their singaporean buddies to join me and so in the end i had 5 cebuians with me for 2 days.

as i walked around in school, in my shadows lurked 5 burly figures.

and that was how i became mafia boss for 2 days.

they left the hostel today for some sleazy hotel without a lift.




noob late comers



ms cherry dumdum (dun laugh ar)



noobs in a line



girls



more girls



my mafia



08S09 interactors plus cebuians

week 1

week 1 in the boarding house was absolutely fun.

1. gotta know a bunch of other leaders which are more of a wide eyed noob than i was.

the gang includes (in no order of preference): ME, liu min, derrick, (derek), norman (my fellow himbo twin), Ting tings (ting yun), Edward. we plan to include Wen song (i reserved a nick name for him: soggy or sheng song or song and song (this really cheap boutique) depends on which one he prefers), Calvin (still working on nick names cause christian names are no fun) adn Jacky (aka jackie chan). we have our eveningly mugging sessions in the dinning hall where we mug and binge on imitation wang wang rice crackers and nei nei (according to norman's thai tourguide its milk in chinese ) and also place our regular bets on the scores of NJ teams competing in nationals (during which each bet is 1 honey star).

2. discovered that there is a singer in everyone.

well everything first started with norman, our jukebox with spoilt volume and on/off controls. he would quack out jap and korean songs during our mugging sessions and we would try to shut him up with great pleasure. then there is derek who decides to be a castratee all of a sudden. he sings all Avril Lavigne songs in DOUBLE SHARP. finally there is me who brought new meaning to the word "torture". btw kok leong sings as well.

3. realised that you should never pick a shower cubicle with the trap.

on that very faithful wednesday evening, i picked the corner shower cubicle cause it was near the door and i had no idea what a huge difference this choice made. initially the floor trap was already cluttered with hair and what not so when the people from nighbouring cubicles bathed all the water flowed to my cubicle causing a huge deluge . all the dirty soapy water flooded my cubicle while hairs of the people who bathed the day before wriggled in between my toes god that was SICK.

and so on thurs morning, i pick the cubicle on the other corner, thinking that there is only one trap in that whole row of 4 cubicles. hell no! that cubicle had another trap too and so i did not care cause its still in the morning and no one is bathing at the same time as me so there will not be a tsunami of armpit/pubic/facial hair. so i took off all my clothes and ran the shower then i noticed some thing jumping. my spectacles were off but i could confirm that there was a cricket jumping up and down on the trap. i decided to drown it with more water but it must be the micheal phelps of the cricket family cause it just hoppped happily in the water. whenever i tried to stomp on it, it jumped so i stomped again and so i was having this little tap dance with the cricket (there was a similar event outside my room except it involved an over energetic grasshopper). anyway in the end the cricket found its way to the adjacent cubicle after some more dancing.

3. there are many people afraid of insects

well this story involved derek and his room mate edward. so they were in their room and they found a huge insect on their door frame. i have no idea how huge it was but all i know is that people in fear tend to exaggerate the size of insects, believe me i know. anyway they were afraid to smack the insect cause it could fly and sting them. so they stood in front of the door planning how to capture the insect (this is njc for god's sake. a little planning goes a very long way). they finally decided to capture it with the plasic bag in the dustbin then throw it away and that was what happened. well this is evident of a failure in singapore's education system. they can teach us how to separate 5 organic chemicals but cant teach us how to kill insects.

4. there are a WHOLE LOT of scholar couples

this is really sickening cause there are couples everywhere. just go down to the dining hall at night and you can see them snuggling together. god its a freaking HOSTEL not a SLEAZY MOTEL damit. i dont care if you go to your rooms and make scholar babies but dont do it in front of us.

night 1

There are many things undone here in the boarding house... eg. Games room which currently consists of several octagonal tables and chairs, gym/exercise corner that seems to be some temporary storeroom, pantries that don’t even have a microwave oven…

Everyone seems to be here to mug. At the dining hall, I wined that without internet (and there isn’t), I can’t facebook. And upon hearing the word facebook, everyone stared as though I used the F word… I did not even mention blogging… dam these people

Guess who my roomie is…..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Teo kok leong.

2 pigs in a room, we are so dead.

moving along

i have not told many people about this because i had this hunch that i mught pussy out at the end. but anyway its all confirmed and so here goes:

I AM GONNA BE LIVING IN NJ HOSTEL FOR 2 MONTHS.

god i am so excited. living with some stranger for 2 months sounds like woa. may god bless my so fortunate roomie cause i aint exactly any other guy with goggle tan-lines (lord knows i am trying to get rid of those).

big obnoxious auntie (BOA)

this was how i remembered:

i was sitting on the "priority seat" on the mrt which was approaching boon lay at that time. before the door opened, BOA was gluing her lumpy body to the mrt doors as though her weight will miraculously force the door open. from what i observed, BOA was eyeing the empty seat beside me but when the door opened, to her great pleasure, another auntie rushed in to take the seat beside me, to BOA's greatest displeasure. BOA frantically turned her gaze around in hopes of spotting another empty seat but there was too many competitive able bodied young people then who tactically took the seats near the door. BOA then STARED at me as though she is "priority". i bet she was half expecting me to give up my seat graciously like a gentleman cause i was witness to her desperate attempt to get a seat earlier. i can never forget those bulging eyes and flaring nostrils and oddly, those thighs that scream "MOTHER OF 20 100kg BABIES"

i returned her with the "HAHA slow poke" eyes and she got my message. she then leaned against the glass panel right beside me, perhaps thinking that she could scare me away with the sight of her butt pressing precariously against the glass.

and so i did a great stretch and tried to sleep, feeling all triumphant.

after the mrt left jurong east, i was disturbed by this lady talking really loudly over the phone (i pressumed initially and was right). i opened my eyes and BOA was sitting beside me.

she was speaking in this weird Cantonese-yet-sounds-vietnamese dialect. though i can only decipher certain words, this was how i thought she said. i was listening to my mp by the way:

BOA: this bag of bones din let me take his seat la. obnoxious right?

mp3: Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence

BOA: yea i hate people like that. cnat they see that we have to stand till raffles?

mp3: When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies (its GROUPIES NOT BOOBIES Ameline!!!)

(well actually she did not talk so little but i cant really cant comprehend the mumbo jumbo in between)

BOA: Yea Yea and i am teaching him a lesson right now. tick tick

this was when i started to turn around and to by ohmybloodyhellsavemegodplease horror, BOA was DIGGING her snout and flicking then in my direction. i freaked out. oh my shit this lady is trying to punish me with her nose shit. i clenched my jaw and tightened my fist. i knew i cant shout at her just yet cause EVERYONE would stare and laugh. thankfully we were approaching queenstown (my destination) and so when door opened i SHOT out of the train.

if i ever knew apathy towards a BOA would be so devastating, i would have GRACIOUSLY let her have my seat

Modnar 1

modnar1:
mousehunt is currently down and so i cant do anyhting but to wait for it to go up again. and so while waiting i have got a story to tell:

the temple was a busy place. villagers came with offerings and prayers daily. some of them prayed for rain, some prayed for a better business, some prayed for their married daughters, some prayed for life, one prayed for death, the death of shang mei.

shang mei was stunningly gorgeous. suitors have came from all over the town with bales of silk and troves of gold ingots, all in hope of having permission to marry her. despite that, shang mei paid no heed for she is the shrine maiden.

she was the prettiest of the bunch: pink lips, smooth skin, long black curly hair. the envy of every girl in the village, fantasy of every man she was but none could get close to her, for she hides in the inner shrine of the la shing lo temple.

ok mousehunt is up. i will continue the story another day

the big-tall-strong-cramp man

anyway last friday there was this big tall man who almost drowned in the pool. he was really tall about 1.8m and strong but the weird thing was he had a cramp and was struggling with his hands flailing wildly in the air screaming and gasping for air when he was less than an arm's length from the ledge. further more he was at the shallow end of the pool!! i guess he was just to excited to notice.

heres the really eerie part. i had seen the same man at the same pool for exactly 3 trainings (that would mean mon tues fri of that week). he would always take the same white table at the pool. there was once when i was in the toilet with him, he was parading naked in the toilet. he packed his bag, brushed his hair, kept his soap IN THE NUDE. the toilet was rather croweded at that time and he REFUSED TO PUT ON AN UNDERWEAR at least.

god this world is full of weird people.

the curious case of the man-woman who refused to wear a bikini

anyway heres the tidbit.

last friday i did my time trial for 1.5km swim and it was crappy but anyway when i stopped, i was all groggy and tired. i glanced at the stairs by the pool and saw someone sitting on the steps, kicking water. then, i noticed that certain someone's long hair and what that appeared to be brown papayas. those are some saggy man boobs, i thought so i turned away to talk to some one else.

then i noticed the life guard approaching that person and they were engaged in some sort of argument. well my nosy side compelled me to find out what happened and that was what i did. so i acted as though my eye was irritated by the water and so i lifted my fogy goggles and pretened to rub one eye while my other eye stared at the 2 people in, literally, wide eyed horror. i saw a woman (i assumed at that time) topless and in only a pair of denim skirt sitting at the stairs.

heres my little conversation between my mind and my eyes:

eye: oh my can you believe it those were boobs. can they get so saggy?

mind: stop looking damit dont embarrass her

eye: god they look as though they were searching for coins on the floor

mind: stop looking!!! i think she knows that we are looking

eye: god shes so fat. why is she still going topless

mind: i guess she is some foreigner confused with the rules in singapore. stop looking damit *slaps eye*

eye: wait la. oh can you see that, i didnt know boobs can point in such awkward directions.

mind: oh ya. they look like some sign post at a cross road. oi stop rubbing the other eye la. its gonna get red. rub the other one

*hand rubs the other eye

*the other* eye: wah boobs leh

mind: ei stop looking ar

*the other* eye: cannot meh. never see before what

*mind and eye engages in a fight*

anyway the above took place in a couple of second during which i STARED at her.

i looked away soon enough and continued to swim. on my returning lap, the other swimmers were STARING at her.

and so i came to realise that she was a male-turned-female tranny just like my friend stefan.

shes really weird. she wants to be a women yet refuses to wear a bra like wtf??!!

Its stefan's bday

woohoo. today marks the birth of our gang's very own male siren (well siren refers to that mystical creature that sings beautifully and also refers to that thing that screams pee-pooo-pee-pooo on the ambulance).

this blog post is a tribute to stefan. may all the RJ J1 boys fall in love with him.

Tia

i am seriously apologetic for my absence in the blogosphere. well actually i am occupying my self with some thing really healthy: Lunia

for all the comp noobs out there lunia is a game where you go around casting spells and crushing cute monsters.

i will blog about something more amusing when i have the time such as the "curious case of the man-woman who refused to wear a shirt", "big-tall-strong-cramp man" and "the one who fell to his death". wow its like a am writing an article lol.

beyond the 7 colours

lately everyone is going gaga over yesterday's rainbow. speaking of gaga, lady gaga is my latest idol cause shes uber pretty.

anyway back to the point, i remember the days when rainbow is the hottest colour(s) in school. i remember when i was Primary 1 my teacher asked us what was our favorite colour. i shouted 'blue' in class that time. well i have always been a fan of blue since they day when i started to love blue ranger and blu tack but thats another story.
i remember a boy shouted 'rainbow' and the class was awed, just awed. rainbow to me, then, was the abalone of all shell food, the durians of all fruits (well i am hungry now so i can only think of examples relating to food). then the most appalling thing was everyone shouted they loved rainbow. at the time i was thinking that since blue is one of the colours of the rainbow, i should love rainbow since i get all 7 colours at a time. and that was how the '1 rainbow' class came about.

as i grew older, i became fond of more unique colours so in primary 3 it was silver, gold in primary 4 and finally metallic blue (i call it shiny blue) in primary 5 or 6.

i have seriously no idea why you are wasting your time reading my blog.

Catalogue

today i casually left the college annual on my desk. upon seeing the book which summarises all the dark and evil secrets of the supposed 1st Junior College in Singapore, mother's little rodent eyes lighted up. she grabbed the book and scurried to the bed room to share her loot with my father.

this was what happened when i found out what they had once again tried to do:

me what are you doing


mum and dad (m&d) ei ei come and show me which one is your class

*intermission: i did not appear in the class photo cause i was shitting my guts out while my class was making merry while taking the class photo


me neh this one la points to 08s09

m&d who is this one ar? points to ******* (you will thank me for censoring the names. btw i did not count the *s so dont bother counting)

me see yourself la, all the names below

m&d aiyo she got peacock eyes leh (well peacock eyes is a term my family coined to describe girls with small eyes)

m&d look at her chin... can poke fish balls and feed you leh

me huh? why feed me

m&d no la i mean when she becomes your wife. ei where is the ****

me flips page and points

m&d stares in horror wah she so old. like 20 30 years old like that. wah she getting rounder like her mother. (and i shall stop there cause what they said after that wasnt something you want to know but neither could i remember)

m&d where is the girl we saw at the ******(shopping centre)


me flips and point

m&d wah not bad leh this one. very sweet very nice

me ok la she not really that bad. got brains one la

m&d i am glad you like her too

me stunned

m&d aiyah dont look at this, the IP one better flips to random IP class pict

m&d eeyer look at this one. no good la the face. (and i assumed they were referring to some superstition crap)

me this is one of my swimmer smiling hopefully


m&d no good la. let you choose then you choose some one that looks like a hanger (another term copyright of the Wong family which refers to broad shoulders like that of a hanger)

m&d nevermind we choose for you, good one call you come and see. mummy know whats best for you.

leave it to my family. give them a college annual and they think its a catalogue of eligible bechalorettes.

Ms Cham-pok-(enter random beat box)-knee

ms champagne is probably the nicest old person around in school. come to think of it besides the cleaners there aint many old people around in school besides that undying fossilised woman i see every morning whom i am not going to dwell much on.

shes from N. america and has a pretty name : Iris. her full name, being Iris Champagne, is a name of a beautiful flower which looks like this:


anyway what i love about her is her general apathy towards american news nor news about civil wars in the middle east. its most relieving when our dearest walking irony diverts the class' attention to news on ipods and penguins claiming that they are bound to be on our A's this year.

she will so loving flash random malicious smiles when she talks about exams. more often then not, she adjusts her unbuttoned shirt which her wears on the outside (my senior calls them curtains cause they always have flowery patterns on them). her laughter is adorable that the entire class laughs at her laughter :D ever so occasionally her face scrunches up and her mouth open in a distorted fashion when she explains how grammar drills are absolutely useless (yes i am using an extreme word out of my love for LOVE of grammar). her goldfish memory makes her different from the other walking raisins in track shoes cause it spurs her on to desperately try to remember our names though with negligible progress. she tries to get closer to her students by sitting at on tables in the 1st row, throwing caution to the wind by refusing to cross her legs. when she tells us anecdotes, she will act them out, probably not cautiously, complete with actions and facial expressions. but it is most depressing when she gives us the last smile of the day and lumbers out of the classroom.

god i love this woman.

Big hearts and even bigger hearts

dont ask me what my title means cause i really have no idea.

on friday, no.1 was the best company. we spent 40 over dollars on food at Holland V and the rest of the day talking about what we did the past. its really diabetic when we start reminiscing all that the great moments we shared over the past years. i sent her home that day and we watched lousy shows from channel 8 at her house.

PS: i bought her flowers so suck it up losers.

on saturday, i spent it with Val and Sera who were at my house. Val was screaming and screaming for attention while sera was slogging off at her work. god these 2 are so freaking funny. Sera was toiling through her tutorials while i worked through my Econs test and chemistry SPA and lecture test. i really have no idea why they used such a soothing word for an assessment that is so goddam treacherous. Anyway, we were so busy that we had to order pizza for lunch (well that because i had coupons which gave us really great discounts). In the end Sera and I couldnt finish our work so i cooked dinner instead. Jurong Point was definitely gonna be really crowded anyway and i would have looked like an idiot spending dinner with those 2 lunatics.

Valentines day of 2009 is officially over.

Big Hearts and broken hearts

i dont really want to blog about valentines day cause ok nevermind i dont really know what to talk about.

oh i have to thank girls of G06 for the rose which is now on my desk. occasionally i will sing songs to it, silently hoping that it will suddenly jump alive and we can have one of those disney musical moments where the birds fly onto my head and chime in with irritating chirps while the squirrels and raccons scurry into my room to help me do my tutorials.

Speaking of Disney, i have never once taken a liking to any of the disney trashy princess series. Up till now i still cant comprehend how mice can sew clothes, snow white would rather stay with 7 filthy bushy men in a random faraway forest where she could get raped ever so often than with a old lady with a horrible case of boils, why didnt aladin wish for unlimited wishes, why sleeping beauty bothered to wake up, why bella has this beast-man complex.

ok back to valentines day, ameline was absolutely amusing today, but i shall leave it hanging there. you can go guess what crazy stuff she did.

anyway selling flowers are so much harder than selling my body.

bye bye

half way there

this week has been terrible. i have been irritable lately, constantly resisting the urge to shout at everyone . i kinda lost it today where i almost screamed at zhi xin for needing me to put her stuff in my locker. well i apologise but i really was pissed just now. today bw1 made a really snobbish remark and at that instant i really wanted to snap her neck but i didnt cause i will have to explain to Mr yip why her neck was at a 90 degrees angle and that aint pretty.

not only am i getting pissed all the time, i am starting to have a failing memory. just today i almost forgot my spectacles when i was leaving the house and really did forget to bring my wallet out of the house. more often than not i cant recall the messages i sent to others or if i even did send a message. people get about 2 of the same message from me sometimes. i cant remember names of people i've met 3 months ago nor can i differentiate sherin from cherie.

everyone seems to be unable to comprehend what say occasionally and i really dont know if i am speaking too softly of or if i am mumbling my words.

i guess the symptoms are clear, i am clearly reaching my mid - age crisis

into the ocean

eileen's sea monkey died. the cause of death is probably a suicidal plunge from the stacks of gold pieces at the bottom of the tank. i cant really pin point the trigger but i reckon that she/he/it must have sufffered trauma after her/his/its owner's friend tried to suck she/he/it into the pump.

today the mourn the death of a pet, an amusing companion, a great friend to all those that he/she/it has come into contact to unto some malevolent bastard tried to suck him/her/it up the mini pump.

all in a $10 hair cut

i dont even know what they call themselves nowadays. i used to call males who cut the hair of other males barbers. now there are females who cut hair for males and vice versa this world is really revolutionizing. no i am not going to turn this post into so mature thesis on gender revolution but instead i am going to post about my $10 dollar hair cut today. so for the sake of fluency, i shall call people who cut hair hair cutter.

so i marched into the hair cutter's lair and sat on the chair with full confidence that i shall get a botak hair cut today. well this happens all the time. before sitting down i would be all prepared and aplomb to expect all my hair to fall off my head but only until i look into the mirror.

i have no idea why haircutters love to use those huge and intimidating mirrors but anyway i looked into the mirror and thought: hey i dont really need to have this hair cut, its really neat as it is now. the mirrors have this balls-shrinking effect on over confident customers; they make people make impulsive last minute decision to change their intended haircut to something less drastic. so i squeaked "spike and slope. BUT not too short." my haircutter today was a guy called desmond mok and looked like a crocodile.

but anyway i digress. so that crocodile was snipping away at my hair while i silent pleaded for my hair to turn out fab-ber-lous (as my pw teacher pronounced it).

side note: while he was cutting my hair i noticed a distinct smell of blood and so i though that mr crocodile must have snipped my scalp but i wasnt long till i noticed that his middle finger was wrapped with 2 or 3 layers of band aid. mr crocodile also had this pen inked tattoo. that poor creature.

At the end he held a large oval mirror behind my head and asked if it was ok. i patronizingly felt the hair at my back and the top then nodded my head. i wasnt really satisfied though but oh well it was my monthly fashion disaster so i might as well get over with it.

i apologise for the lack of climax in the story. this story is a representation of how terribly boring my week was so pardon my lack of excitement

How my relatives stole Chinese New Year

Now that my chinese new year is almost over, i guess its time to lay out what happened.

the 1st day of cny started off with the usual visiting with my 7th grand aunt or rather the canto machine gun (cmg). since that was the 1st house i visited i tried my best to look excited. as usual she greeted us in her signature brown flowery PJs then poured us tea and started to yak. well this is the part where i love the most about cantonese people: they really know how to sing praises. a visit from my cantonese relatives is a major ego booster. so she commended about how dashing i looked and how sexy my tan is (and i shan't talk too much about before you guys decide to read something else instead). the other reason why i love cantonese people is that they speak really fast so in the same 45 minute visit, they can manage to cover 5 of cmg's visit to the doctors', how sick the jurassic park granny is and how her sons pushed her around cause they dont want to take care of her, her fixed deposit, the inevitable retrenchment of her son and of course this years budget.

next was jurassic park granny. she looked really cute this year in her granny clothes and a hot pink hairband, hell i will choose her over hello kitties any year. shes really sick now and she cant give my mother oranges without help cause her arthritis is really bad. this year my really hot cousin came before us and so i sat on the sofa watching her all the time. actually it was only this year that i realized that she had an older brother cause i was all too interested in his sister and my dick and hence ignoring the presence of a competing dick.

the 3rd house i went to was the pau bitch (well you will know why she became a pau bitch this year later). the weirdest thing this year was that the aunt who loved to talk to my mother hid in her room all the time. my mother reckoned that it was due to the fact that my brother OWNED her daughter's FUGLY ASS at PSLE. anyway the pau bitch served us paus this year which my stomach graciously accepted with extra servings cause she said that she bought the paus from tanjiong ru(it was freakin tanjoing ru damit how do you beat their paus?!). well they say greed is the root of all evil and my worn out anus and i can testify - i spent the night and the next day shitting and farting.

finally i went to my ah ma house where i helped my cousin lose $2.50.

well cny aint over for me cause day 2 is brunch with my paternal side of my very very big family tree. this year only one of my cousin whom i often mistake as a bowling ball came in a really red sweater which makes him look like those crab meat thingys with the claw. the others are probably on their 3-for-1 liposuction package. well thats really good cause no one is going to snatch my roast pork. my uncles are so freaking full of fats and oil that looking at them makes me wanna blot my face. speaking of being disgusted by them, i was rather grotesque during that dinner. well as you know i was high on shit flow taht day but i cant leave the table then come back smelling like 17 years of shit all over my body. side note: the restaurant was really packed and the chairs had holes at the back. back to the story, i had no choice but to let out silent farts through the holes but as we all know, silent ones are the deadliest. and so whenever i farted i turned around, pinched my nose and made a distinctive frown at the guy sitting behind me. hell it smelled so bad that it was quite impressive; even Chanel would want to bottle it and debut its so-stinky-till-it-smells-so-nice series (i call it Chanel no.-1).

so i fastforward past my mundane 3 days in school till to day when cmg made her annual pilgrimage to my house for a 5 hr visit. thank god she gave us a 60 percent this year and stayed for only 2 hrs

CNY is more or less over for me. i challenge all bloggers to blog about how bad their CNY was. the worst cny wins a lifetime membership in my fanclub and a guranteed position in my council.

Cathartic

ca⋅thar⋅tic
   /kəˈθɑrtɪk/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [kuh-thahr-tik] Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. of or pertaining to catharsis.
2. Also, ca⋅thar⋅ti⋅cal. evacuating the bowels; purgative.
–noun
3. a purgative.

eg:

the pau bitch gave me cathartic paus which resulted in a terrible morning, the next day, filled with shit, fluids and bad farts.

what i dislike about celebrating the new year

the worst part of celebrating the chinese new year is visting my relatives. in the past, my family visited about 8-9 families in a single day but we stopped visiting them when they all started to drop dead. now there are only about 4 families we visit but they all arent that great.

1. 7th grandaunt (CMG)

well dont get me wrong, she aint mean or anything; in fact she is really really nice. she would always greet my family with bak gua and other goodies which were, frankly, not really tasty but good enough to keep my mouth busy for an hour or 2. well the bad thing is that she is one hell of a Cantonese machine gun. for that 1/2 hours she would rant, in Cantonese, about how her youngest son spent his 42 thousand dollars worth of bonus, how her eldest son gambled his family and house away, how much she put into her fixed deposit, how the other uncles treated her sister... ... and the list goes on and on and on until i have to give my father the "full-time" signal. the full-time signal was developed many years ago to cut my stay at my 7th grand aunt's house short. the full time signal is used when we cross the 45 min mark. but despite the signal, we can only leave 30 mins later. just when its you think its over, my 7th grand aunt brings her sons for another visit at my house... this time its for 5 freaking hours. during then, i cant do anything cause they call the shots.

2. pau witch

actually i dont really know how she is related to me but all i know is that she makes paus, siew mai and all the other dim sums when we visit her. the reason why she is called the pau witch but not the dim sum princess its because once when i was about 10 years old, she made a batch of paus that gave my ENTIRE family a really bad case of diarrhea. since then we became very apprehensive when she offered us one of her handmade dishes and only ate things that come in the transparent containers with red screw caps.

3. Jurassic Park aunty

this aunty has screws in her knees because of a bad fall. shes really looks like a cantonese , liver spotted prune on a wheel chair: she is really ancient. but SHE IS NOT THE ONE who made the whole visit bad. the really bad part of this visit is that her grandchildren ALWAYS entertains their guests with a Jurassic Park VCD, for 3 straight years. they were probably thinking: hey what should we let them watch this year? oh jurassic park is a timeless movie, i love it. maybe they will not notice if play a different scene this year. well this family aint all that bad cause when my cousins come with their daughters, i have something else to watch other than the scene where the characters run from the t-rex in the hotel kitchen. well my cousin married a filipino who gave birth to 2 really pretty daughters; the younger daughter is the prettier of the 2.

4. all the rest of the uncles from my father side

i have 3 more uncles on my father side but they gather at the PSA building restaurant every year so we can avoid visiting them one by one. this side is probably the most problematic side cause i have a divorced uncle and aunty, a aunty who married a china man, a very hairy uncle who is the head chef at some high class restaurant, an uncle who is always worried about his son's education prospects. they are quite a torture but thankfully the love to gather at a table to rant in cantonese. their little brats are really like the devil's children. one phrase to describe them all : fat, fatter fatterer. god i hate this bastards, always running about(while their c cup moobs bounce around) but when the roasted pork dish comes, they will be 1st to gobble it down. and according to my over worried uncle, i am the eldest of them all and so i should be looking after them at all times. and that was how i always missed the other dishes because i had to watch over them while they paint the town red. even though they all return to the table when the roasted pork dish comes, it aint any better since my arm wasnt large enough to shove their chopsticks-clutching-trotters away when they come snatching for food. so at the end of the day i am still hungry and exhausted.

despite the many red packets, chinese new year aint a joyous occasion for me.

ohh that bloody feeling.

the first week in school wasn't that bad at all.

my teachers are pretty much the same. thank god i did not get teachers that may just drop dead anytime. i really wonder why in secondary schools we always get old teachers - those deceptive little creatures. though they may look as though look like a raisin in loafers, they have the voice of a lion when they scold students. i got one old gp teacher teaching me this year... name: Iris Champagne. shes a sweet granny that has just decided that knitting scarves and while watching soaps isnt exciting enough and thus came to teach in singapore.

the school looks exactly the same. same old grey walls, same old cemented floors, same old toilets with no water, same old rusty railings, same old shoes lying all around (there is no shoe sale better than nj's bring-home-any-pair-you-want-provided-you-can-find-a-pair sale)the whole school just screams haunted house. anyway speaking of haunted, there have been sightings of flying text books in the classrooms which i found rather cool. well i was actually thinking that i can get shout "accio econs textbook" and principles of economics will fly to me.

now the school has decided to go all american education refer j1s and 2s as senior high 1/2 and sec1-4 junior high 1-4, like i really care. there has been a new addition to the school: noobolicious sec 1s. these critters clad in grey top and charcoal berms/skirts are currently running around cheering like no tomorrow. wait till they start lessons then they will decide if jumping on this 6 year programme really rocks.

well this is my school... 1 more year to go. go eat shit and die